You don’t find a happy and long-lasting relationship – you create one. Many couples don’t realize this because they are too occupied with the thoughts of finding perfection in an obviously imperfect world. Instead of spending their energy on finding the ways to make their relationship last, they tend to focus on the burden of trying to make it work.
On the other hand, couples who have successfully created their ideal love story have learned to recognize the magical moments that made them believe that they will have their own happy ending.
So, how about you? Do you think you’re in a relationship that has the potential to grow or are you one of the unlucky ones who think that they could eventually lose the person they have now?
To answer this question, here are qualities that can make your relationship last and stand the test of time:
This quality is important especially for couples who are extremely different from each other. Being complete opposites, they don’t always agree on the same things and even fight over trivial matters. However, what binds them together is their love for each other – and openness is one of the characteristics that make this possible.
By revealing what you are on the inside, and by telling your partner what you truly feel, you are letting them understand who you are. Be open enough to confidently share your thoughts, your ideas, and your goals.
A sense of humor is the most underrated quality because people think that it seems out of place when talking about romance. The truth is, the ability to find peace and comfort in laughter can make a relationship more exciting, and thus, more interesting to be in.
Excitement through laughter plays an important part in keeping couples stay positive even during the darkest moments in their relationship.
“Love cannot live where there is no trust” – In Greek mythology, these were the same words that Cupid said when he left his love, Psyche, all because she failed the ultimate test of Trust. Although it’s a classic story of “the one that got away”, the lesson still applies to couples who don’t know how to value trust in a relationship.
Trust your significant other to do the right thing; trust your lover to love only you and avoid over-thinking; trust your partner to honor your promise of love and devotion.
ALSO READ: 10 Ways to Build and Maintain Trust in a Relationship
Couples who know how to have fun can ensure a long-lasting relationship because they know too well that loving someone means more than just being a romantic partner. You also have to be their partner-in-crime, when they want to break their dieting plan and binge on the most sinful yet juicy double cheeseburger; you have to be their naughty accomplice when you want to do something spontaneous like ditching a boring party and just driving away into the moonlight.
Loving is giving, as what a famous line goes – and it’s a true quote that can best describe a healthy and long-lasting relationship. Typically, it means that in order to show someone that you love them, you share something material and give without asking anything in return.
But most importantly, it also means being generous by giving your undivided time and attention to the person you love. This time of generosity is rare these days, especially most people are always busy from overworking, playing video games, or staring at their smartphones.
Choosing kindness especially when it’s the hardest option is the ultimate test in a relationship. Fights and arguments can bring out the monsters in individuals that they forget that their every word is like a dagger piercing through their lover’s heart.
A relationship will only last if they can, no matter how difficult or impossible it is, choose kindness over anger. Choose to be kind than to slowly break your partner’s heart, just because you badly want to be right by winning the argument.
ALSO READ: 21 Characteristics of True Love According to the Bible
A relationship should not just be all about love, sweetness, and romance. It should also be about learning and figuring out the hidden wonders that the world has to offer. That’s why curiosity is one of the top qualities that most long-lasting relationships have.
Explore the beauty of the world together and never stop asking questions. Although you already have a beautiful love story, you should try to appreciate the stories that you can only discover once you go and experience the world outside of your relationship. Travel, learn a new language, take on a new hobby, and just be open to the possibilities.
Solitude, in a more positive light, is important if you want your relationship to last. It doesn’t always mean loneliness or isolation – rather, it is a true quality that describes independence and one’s ability to find happiness and feel at peace even without the physical presence of the person they love.
Most of the time, partners can be possessive and overly-attached. However, in a healthy relationship, finding peace and contentment in solitude are essential factors that help individuals reflect and refocus.
ALSO READ: 8 Tips on How to Stop Being Possessive in a Relationship
Positive thinking has made the best relationships stand the test of time. If couples are optimistic about the future no matter how many lemons life throws at them, they’ll always know how to make the tastiest lemonades.
It’s important to look at the world and life from a positive perspective because aside from the fact they are both imperfect, you really don’t have a choice. There will always be storms, you just have to learn how to dance in the rain.
Everyone has their own level of weirdness that they try to hide because they think that it can be a huge turn-off, especially for potential partners. However, people in a long-lasting relationship know that this quirkiness and an eccentricity are the things that make the love of their life stand out from the rest.
If you find someone who will love you for who you are on the outside as well for how weird and bizarre you are on the inside, never let them go.
Being humble means looking at other people’s worth as something that is not lower than your own. In other words, it means that even if you’re older, richer or smarter, you should not think that you’re better than anyone.
In a relationship, humility teaches individuals to be unassuming and to respect and recognize the value of their significant other not just as a partner but also as a human being. It also reminds individuals to be humble enough and admit that they, too, can make mistakes – even if they’re older, more intelligent, or more experienced when it comes to relationships than their partner.
The only way to genuinely love someone is to love yourself first. It’s one of the most important rules of ensuring that your relationship will last a lifetime. Self-love also seals a promise that no matter how long you spend your life with another person, you are sure that you will not lose who you are as a person. It ensures that your identity and self-worth will remain intact, no matter how strong your bond is – and it’s a good thing.
ALSO READ: 40 Ways to Love Yourself
Are you happy? You should always ask this question not just to yourself but to your partner as well. Why? Happiness is an important indicator of a healthy relationship but oftentimes, it’s not easy to recognize. Sometimes, a person can be really good at hiding their sadness that they seem so happy and enthusiastic about your relationship – until the day that they finally drop the mask and leave.
That’s why it is essential to feel the presence – or the absence – of happiness before it’s too late. Make sure that you are sensitive enough to your partner’s feelings and always do your best to find out if what you’re doing can bring happiness to your partner or not.
ALSO READ: How to be Happy in a Relationship in 8 Ways
In relation to the previous section, couples in a long-lasting relationship know that in order to know if their partner is happy or not, they have developed this high sensitivity to read and understand how their significant other feels – even without words and no matter how many masks they try to put on. How? Empathy.
In definition, it is an individual’s ability not only to understand another person’s emotions and experiences but also to feel what they are feeling while undergoing such experiences. This quality helps couples know when to act and what to say, even when their partner does not have the courage to speak out.
Most relationships fail because couples don’t want to accept the reality that they often face. For example, couples in a long distance relationship easily give up even just after a month or two of trying because they don’t want to face every day knowing that their partner is miles away from them. Instead of facing the truth of an LDR, they want to run away from the loneliness by trying to find faulty remedies.
Once you accept the reality of an LDR, or even just the challenges in a relationship in general, that’s the only time that you’ll be able to think of strategies and ways to handle the situation.
Gratitude is important in a relationship because it shows how much you appreciate your partner’s existence and how thankful you are for the happiness that they brought into your life. It’s not about showing them that they deserve a medal, but it’s more about letting them know that every little thing that they did was deeply appreciated.
It’s giving them the assurance that they’re doing a great job and that their existence is something to be thankful for.
Most relationships don’t last because couples don’t have the strength to face the obstacles that often come their way. Even if they know how to fight for their relationship, there will always be a time when they’re too weak to hold on. That’s why strength is important if you want to find your “forever”.
You don’t have to be strong all the time, but you should take turns in being strong. Make sure that you will not give up the fight. Remind yourself that it’s okay to rest, but don’t ever raise that white flag just yet.
Yes, you’ve read that right. Imperfection is a top quality in a long-lasting relationship. It gives couples the freedom to learn from their mistakes and the motivation to become the best versions of them. The acceptance that both of them are not perfect makes their life more exciting because of the huge possibilities to grow and discover their potential.
Imperfection gives more room for the exciting and interesting quests to discover who they are and what they can be, together as a couple, or independently, as a motivated and inspired individual.
Needless to say, love is a quality common in long-lasting relationships. However, not everyone recognizes what love really is and what it should feel like. Some of them mistake lust, obligation, or even fear for love. That’s why it’s important that you, as an individual, should know the signs of true love in a relationship, before it’s too late.
Last but not the least, is commitment. A relationship can never last a year if the commitment is absent in the couple’s vocabulary. While only couples in mature and older relationships are more likely to value commitment, younger couples can still learn how to appreciate this vital quality. How?
By starting from its more simple counterpart: making a promise. If you think that “commitment” as quite a serious term for your young love, then you can just make a promise that you’re both going to work hard just to make your relationship last. Promise that you’ll love each other and support each other every step of the way.
What do you think? Did these give you a picture of what your life with your significant other will become in the near future? If you think your relationship doesn’t have what it takes to last, don’t worry. It’s not yet too late to save what you have and work on what you lack. Start today.