When you first get into a relationship, it feels like it’s all rainbows and butterflies—all you want to do is spend time with your new boyfriend, and you two just can’t get enough of each other. It’s that magical time when you’re just falling head over heels in love and you feel like nothing in the world could come between you.
As much fun as it is, it simply can’t last forever. But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing! There’s not a single couple out there who stays in the “puppy love” bubble for years on end. At some point, you settle into a routine, you might bicker a little more often, and you may have to work through some challenges. That’s all normal—it’s just part of growing together as a couple.
When do these little changes usually start to pop up? Right around the 3-month mark in your relationship—maybe give or take a month or two. This is the point where you can usually tell if you two are going to last long-term or not— so needless to say, it’s an important time. Here are 20 ways the relationship changes by month three—and five ways that it shouldn’t.
25How It Changes: The “Honeymoon Phase” Will Begin To Fade
You know those butterflies in your stomach we just mentioned? You know that feeling you get when you first start dating someone, everything just feels perfect, and it seems like it could last forever? Well, we like to call that “the honeymoon phase.” Because in a way, it really does feel like you two are on a little honeymoon, all in your own little world.
But around the third month of your relationship, you will usually feel yourself moving on from the honeymoon phase.
It does not mean that the love fades at all—your feelings will just calm down.
24How It Changes: You’re Okay With Him Seeing Your Flaws
When you first meet a guy and start dating, it’s no surprise that you feel some pressure to really show off your best self at all times and let him see your good side. Who doesn’t want to make a great first impression? But after you have been together for about three months or so, you will both start to relax around each other a little more.
You will be much more comfortable with the idea of him seeing you for who you really are, flaws and all—and he will feel the same way towards you. It’s a turning point.
23How It Changes: You’ll Start Thinking About Meeting His Family
In those early months of a relationship, the idea of meeting your boyfriend’s family can feel a little, well, intimidating, to say the least! But after you have been together for a few months, you will probably want to take that next step if things are going well.
And if you two are happy together, he will most likely want to meet your family, too!
Meeting each other’s families can absolutely be a little nerve-wracking—of course, you want them to like you!—but it’s a sign that you two are ready to take that big step and get more serious.
22How It Changes: You Might Begin Saying “I Love You”
Look, nobody wants to be the one in the relationship who says “I love you” a little too early! Yup, that can definitely make for an awkward moment. This is why even if one person in a relationship feels like they are truly falling in love from the very beginning, they may end up waiting a couple months before they say those three little words out loud for the first time.
So around that three-month mark, you might start feeling like you’re finally ready to tell him how you feel—or he might be the one to take the leap!
21This Shouldn’t Change: Going On Real Dates
When the relationship begins, you will probably find yourself going on some cute dates—after all, your new boyfriend definitely wants to impress you and make you fall head over heels for him. But sometimes after a couple months go by, those dates don’t seem to be happening as frequently. In fact, maybe they’re not happening anymore at all.
It’s sad, but once that early “honeymoon phase” passes, some couples stop going on dates—and that could mean letting the spark fade out.
Don’t stop going on dates after the early months—keep planning fun things to do together.
20How It Changes: You Don’t Care If He Sees You Without Makeup
This is definitely a major change after the first few months. Look, we all know how it is when you first get into a relationship: you feel a little bit uncertain about your new boyfriend seeing you without makeup. But the truth is that after some time passes by, you will start to forget this fear altogether.
It’s totally normal to feel this way at first, but here’s the thing—if he truly loves and cares about you, he will still feel the same way whether or not you’re wearing makeup! You’ll feel totally fine going makeup free after three months.
19How It Changes: You May Talk About The Future More Often
In the first three months of the relationship, neither person really wants to freak the other out by getting too serious, too fast. That just seems like a line that no one wants to cross, right? But after about three months or so, you will have a good sense of whether or not you are really meant to be together.
And once you reach that point, you will be more willing to talk about the future.
You’ll find yourselves planning things a little further in advance—for example, making plans for six months in the future won’t seem like a big deal.
18How It Changes: You’ll Be More Relaxed Around His Friends
We know, we know—meeting your new boyfriend’s group of friends for the first time can be so unbelievably stressful! It happens to every girl—you meet these guys that he’s been hanging out with for years, you know that he’s going to take their opinion of you into account, and you desperately want to make them realize that you’re the right girl for him!
But after a couple months, you won’t feel that intense pressure anymore. It’s such a relief when you realize that you can just hang out with the guys without stressing too much over what they might think.
17How It Changes: You Open Up About More Personal Things
In those first few months, you will obviously get to know each other on a deeper level than before you were dating. However, there is so much beneath the surface that you’ll still want to share with each other at some point later on in the relationship.
After the first three months, you will generally start to feel more comfortable when it comes to opening up about deeper issues.
You might find yourself telling him things that you have never shared with anyone before! It can seem scary at first, but just remember, he wants to know the real you.
16This Shouldn’t Change: Surprising Each Other In Thoughtful Ways
One thing that’s super common in the early stages of relationships? Surprising each other in thoughtful little ways that make you both smile. Whether it’s leaving Post It notes with a cute message or just sending those sweet “good morning!” texts, those surprises really brighten up your day.
They keep that spark alive in those first few months. Sometimes, couples will let kind of thing just fall by the wayside as time goes on. But if you let that happen, it will take some joy out of the relationship. Just keep up with the surprises—a little goes a long way.
15How It Changes: You Don’t Spend As Much Time On The Phone
Now, we all know that when you first start dating someone, you end up texting them or talking on the phone all the time! Not that there’s really anything wrong with that—hey, you just got together and you’re excited!
But after those first few months, you probably won’t be spending as much time on the phone.
It’s not that you don’t want to talk to each other anymore—it’s more like you would rather just wait to have conversations in person, and you don’t need to be attached to your phone 24/7. It’s just a normal thing to happen.
14How It Changes: You Might Fight A Little More
Well, we have to admit, this change is really no fun, but we’re just being realistic here. Let’s just face it: after the first three months of dating, chances are that you will fight a little bit more often. This is just what happens after you have been together for a little while.
And you know what? It’s not necessarily a bad thing. Think about it—if you feel comfortable expressing your needs and wants without holding back, that’s necessary for a healthy relationship. Yes, there might be some bickering now and then, but honestly, no relationship can be perfect.
13How It Changes: You Start Admitting Your Embarrassing Secrets
Now, here’s where the fun really starts! After about three months of dating, you get comfortable enough with each other to reveal your most embarrassing secrets.
You know, all of those weird little things you did in middle school that only your closest friends know about?
Yup, that’s the kind of stuff that starts coming out after about three months. And you know what the best part of that is? It really just brings you so much closer together. Plus, the two of you will never run out of things to laugh about when you are sharing those embarrassing stories!
12How It Changes: You Make More Long-Term Plans
When you are just getting into a relationship, you might feel a little bit awkward about making plans too far in advance. For example, you might have a trip that you want to take within the next year or so, and maybe you really want to invite your boyfriend. But you might feel a little nervous about asking him to join you when you’ve only been together for a short time.
However, after a couple months have passed, you may feel more comfortable bringing it up. At this point, both of you will have no problem making plans in the long term.
11This Shouldn’t Change: Treating Each Other To Little Things
Earlier, we talked about how you don’t want to stop leaving each other little surprises—after all, that just brings so much fun and happiness to the relationship!
Another thing you definitely want to keep doing after three months? Treating each other sometimes.
You know, when he unexpectedly picks up the tab for your coffee and donut, or when the bill at the restaurant comes and you say, “This one’s on me.” It’s always nice to surprise the other by picking up the bill sometimes, and you don’t have to have the expectation that the guy will pay for everything.
10How It Changes: You Spend More Time Without Concrete Plans
In the early months of your relationship, you might feel a certain pressure to plan something fun every time you hang out. But as you stay together for longer, you’ll both begin to realize how much fun it is just to hang out without having to plan something every time.
Even if you just sit in silence working on assignments for class together or you’re immersed in your own hobbies, you’ll see how nice it can be just to sit in the same room and simply hang out together—you don’t always need to be doing some kind of activity.
9How It Changes: You’ve Stolen Half His Sweaters
Look, every girl knows that one of the perks of getting into a relationship is basically the fact that you can expand your wardrobe a bit by stealing your boyfriend’s sweaters. Honestly, who doesn’t like “borrowing” a comfy sweater that smells like his cologne? Or maybe even hanging on to one of his flannels for a while?
He might think that he’s getting them back, but we all know the truth—once you have got your hands on one of your boyfriend’s sweaters, he will never see it again unless you are wearing it.
Our apologies to boyfriends everywhere—sorry!
8How It Changes: You Have Higher Standards For Gifts
Now, obviously, gifts and other material things are not the most important aspect of a relationship. We all know that loving and caring for each other will always be the most important thing in any relationship—nothing else can replace that or make up for it.
But let’s just be real here for a second—once you have been with a guy for a couple months, you will definitely have higher standards for gifts! You will probably expect him to put a little more thought into it and get you something that you would really love—he’s got to put the effort in!
7How It Changes: You Don’t Feel Like You Have To Impress Him
As more time passes in your relationship, this is one of the most important changes that you will notice.
Over time, you will begin to realize that you do not feel the need to hide any aspect of who you are to impress your boyfriend.
In the early stages, it can be hard to shake this habit—we often feel like we need to be at our best at all times, and we feel the pressure to always look good and never slip up. But as you two get more comfortable with each other, that expectation will slowly slip away.
6This Shouldn’t Change: Sending Cute, Spontaneous Texts
Yes, we mentioned earlier that after that three-month mark passes, you probably will not spend as much time on the phone with each other. But that doesn’t mean you should totally forget about sending those cute, spontaneous texts! Seriously, one sweet text at the right time can make your whole day.
And the best part? It really only takes a minute or two to send him that perfect message that will make him smile. Seriously, this is one of the easiest things to do to keep that romantic spark glowing, so don’t forget to send those nice little texts.
5How It Changes: You Notice More Of His Little Quirks
As time goes on, all of those little quirks that your boyfriend has—which you may not have noticed at first—will become more apparent to you. And what’s the best part about this? If you are truly meant to be together, you will love him even more for it.
Seriously, all of those little things will have you falling head over heels.
Yes, even his flaws! Because as you spend more time together, you’ll realize that those quirks are what make him who he is. He’ll begin to notice the same little things about you, too—it’s so special.
4How It Changes: You Have More Trust In Each Other
Trust is one of those things that can take a while to build—especially if one of you has been hurt before. It’s not like something that just occurs overnight. You may not have 100% trust in each other right off the bat. And if your previous relationships went downhill, you understand exactly what we mean.
But after a couple months, you should definitely feel that strong level of trust. If you don’t, well, it might be a sign that the relationship is not quite working out. But if you do, then you know that you two are doing just fine.
3How It Changes: You Know His Phone Password
Alright, so we just spent a little time talking about trust and just how important it is in a healthy relationship—and if you don’t have trust, you know that the relationship is not going to last.
But here’s the thing—after a couple months, you will probably know his phone password.
Honestly, this is kind of a test. If you truly trust him, you won’t be tempted to look at his phone and snoop around! It’s perfectly fine to have each others’ phone passwords, but just make sure that you are not always trying to see who he’s talking to.
2How It Changes: You Start Spending Holidays Together
Spending holidays together is definitely one of the best parts about being in a relationship! After you’ve been together for three months or so, it’s more likely that one of you might go to the other’s house to celebrate certain holidays.
We know that this can be a little stressful at first—for example, you may get nervous about meeting so many of his relatives at once, and we don’t blame you—but it’s worth it for the fun memories. Plus, just think of all the cute photos that you get out of the experience! Holidays together are the best.
1This Shouldn’t Change: Those Butterflies You Feel
And the most important thing that should not change after three months? Your love for each other. Yes, those butterflies might seem to calm down a bit as that “honeymoon phase” ends. But they should never disappear.
The truth is that for some couples, the love will begin to fade after three months, and this will be a turning point where they realize they were not really right for each other after all.
But for others, this will be a moment when they realize just how much they truly love and care for each other, and the future will be even better.