Men and women enjoy many of the same aspects of a relationship, but it’s more often that the woman’s point of view gets shared rather than the man’s. When women get together, they want to share all of their lovey-dovey stories and reveal any big changes they’re experiencing in a new relationship, but when men get together, they’re usually talking about anything but romance; instead, things like their work or their favorite sports teams take precedence in conversation. But it’s about darned time we hear what they have to say about the women in their lives!
Most men can’t just randomly open up about their love lives — they have to be asked. Even then, if they’re not completely comfortable with the person who is asking, the best response might as well be silence; so where can honest feelings be shared anonymously? Reddit! When men are willing to be heard without fear of anyone tracing their feelings back to them, they turn to the almighty internet, where the masses can answer any and all questions without fear of discovery! So what is it men secretly love about being in a relationship? Here are twenty-one confessions from real men who posted their answers on Reddit.
“Not feeling weird when there’s nothing to talk about. It’s just like…ok there’s nothing to say. Not like when you’re dating someone new and you’re trying to think of anything to break an uncomfortable silence.” — coys1993
We’ve all fallen victim to the “awkward silence.” When you’re first getting to know someone, running out of things to say can be a bad sign — it can mean that both parties are too nervous to think straight or that neither one of them has anything interesting to share.
The great thing about being in a relationship is that awkward silences become a thing of the past!
When there’s nothing to say, they can just sit together in the car, listening to music or just losing themselves in their own thoughts. There is no anxiety to keep the other person from feeling bored because if they needed any kind of intellectual stimulus, they’d let you know.
When you’re comfortable with another person’s mere presence, the need to speak is no longer a necessity. You can just enjoy the fact that your significant other is physically present should you feel the need to engage in some kind of verbal communication. When they’re alone in their own little world, it’s your opportunity to be free to do the same and, honestly, what could be better than that?
20Smiles Can Make Anyone’s Day Brighter
“Your SO’s smile. When I was still dating my now ex-girlfriend, some of our time together was spent watching GoT and eating popcorn. She once mentioned some sort of seasoning powder you could buy for popcorn (can’t remember what it was now). During my next trip to the store, I managed to find some. When she came over later, I asked if it was the right kind. She broke out in this special smile that I knew was just for me.” — Dranj
It really is the little things that count, and making your significant other smile is definitely a great example of something that counts but isn’t difficult to produce! @Dranj only had to purchase a little bit of popcorn seasoning to get a genuine smile from his girl, which may seem like nothing, but seeing her happy is what ultimately made his day. They aren’t even in a relationship anymore and he’s still got this moment to look back on with only fond memories.
Ladies, the next time your guy does something super nice for you, remember he’s doing it specifically to make you feel special. He just wants to make you smile because when you’re on cloud nine, so is he.
19Sharing Means Caring!
“When you go to a restaurant and there are two things on the menu you want, you can get your SO to order one of them and share.” — redditor_85
Okay, so maybe this isn’t as romantic as some of us were hoping it would be, but in the world of couples perks, it’s definitely a good one! According to @redditor_85, men secretly love being able to try two different meals at a restaurant. But if we’re being honest here, most of us are really happy to share and taste a lot of different things anyway!
Sure, you could always just hit up the same restaurant two times in a row so you can both try different things — but you can also just each order something different and experience the range of flavors together in one night!
Your mind is blown now, isn’t it? Alright, so maybe some of us just go out with our girlfriends or family members and do the same thing, but how often do you see two straight guys going to a restaurant to share food? Probably not as often as you’d see two ladies or a family sharing meals, that’s for sure. So for men, this really is one of the greatest parts of being in a relationship.
18Supporting One Another
“Knowing that no matter how [bad] your day was, how many people [set] you off, that there is someone at home that has your back. And even though they have your back — they’ll still tell you when you’re being [silly] and [explain how] you caused most of that trouble and offer solutions to correct [them].” — Breakzjunkee
Having someone to hold you accountable is one of the greatest things about a relationship. A healthy relationship is one where you can come home after a horrible day and just let it all out to someone who genuinely cares about you and the stress work can cause. The great thing is they’re not just there to listen to you complain, they’re also there to let you know when things could have been avoided, how to handle the situation in the future, and they’ll be honest enough to say that your day wouldn’t have been so bad if you had made better decisions.
Your significant other isn’t trying to be mean to you, they’re being genuine and they’re encouraging you to grow up a little and learn from your mistakes to avoid future bad days. Like most people in a relationship, guys like to know their ladies have their backs and aren’t afraid to speak up when something needs to change.
17Best Friends Are Amazing
“Always having someone to do mundane tasks with. It’s like having your best friend with you when you have to do boring chores from laundry mats to doctors appointments, except they’re happy to be there with you.” — mynameisnotjamie
When you’re in a relationship, your significant other should basically be your best friend. You should be able to have a great time together, no matter what boring chores you’re forced to do, and you should also be able to rely on them to be there for you during boring events, such as dental appointments or long trips across town to the only grocery store within 1,000 miles that sells your favorite snack.
When you have a significant other you can rely on, there’s a sort of sense of confidence in the strength of the relationship that forms.
Two people need to be able to trust that the other person will always be there for them when times get tough or boring; it’s how you know your SO love you because no average person would volunteer to waste hours of their lives for your sake unless they were truly invested in the relationship and where it might take them in the future.
16Courage Can Be Found In Great Relationships
“I don’t know how common this is, but making a life with my wife took away my fear of death. Knowing someone is with you on the journey, and [that] you’re with them, took away a huge part of the fear of the unknown. It’s like she found me and gave me my life.” — and_so_forth
While this secret admission goes far deeper than the previous ones, it’s no less true. Some men find comfort in knowing that whatever happens down the line, at least for now everything is right in the world. Sometimes you just need to find the right person to keep from feeling so lonely and afraid of everything that can happen, so you can focus instead on everything that has happened and is happening. In fact, being around someone you love can take away your fear of the future simply because instead of thinking about your imminent death, you can think about how you’re going to spend your future with the person you love.
It isn’t the healthiest reason to stop fearing death, but it’s better than living your life always afraid of what might happen one day. @and_so_forth was able to make the best of his life with help from his wife. Let’s hope their relationship continues to thrive and he is able to learn how to find peace on his own one day.
15Sharing All Of Life’s Weird Moments
“Personal grooming. My wife and I call it monkey grooming. Ingrown hairs, hard to reach pimples, clogged pores, etc. She gets em for me, I get em for her! :)” — apageofthedarkhold
For those of us who grew up with siblings, we always had to rely on them to help us out with weird stuff like clogged pores, pulling loose teeth and learning how to do the simple things like popping pimples and style our hair. For those without siblings, we had parents who taught us to handle these things.
Regardless of how we learned, we eventually reached a point in our lives where we were forced to groom ourselves without help from anyone else — until we found our significant others.
Once you fall in love with someone, even the gross stuff like dealing with ingrown hairs and nails become routine — it almost isn’t gross anymore because the person you’re helping and who is helping you is the person you love!
No matter how horrible the bodily function or maintenance is, your love shall prevail! Instead of living your life stuck doing all your personal hygienic maintenance yourself, you can just fall in love and take advantage of the other person’s love by asking them to pop that random pimple on your back or pluck your weird hairs that grow in hard to reach places. It might sound gross, but once you’re wearing those rose-colored lenses, it’s just another day in love.
14Keeping Each Other Calm
“Having someone (other than myself) who cleans every once in a while. Coming home after a stressful day to see our apartment spotless and clean is an incredibly nice feeling.” — CatRinternet
It might not sound like a big deal to some people, but maintaining a tidy home is really important and can relieve quite a bit of stress. When CatRinternet comes home from a long day, finding that the living room has been vacuumed and the dishes have been cleaned can help relieve a great deal of stress. It’s not only having someone around to help clean, it’s also knowing that they cleaned for your sake that makes it so special.
Most couples fight over who has to wash the dishes, whose turn it is to make dinner or fold the laundry, but when you come home to discover your partner has put your needs above their laziness and has taken the initiative to do a few of your chores, it’s a lot easier to find a sense of calm. It also presents an opening for you to accept their love for you, which was revealed by their display of consideration. With all the other chores done, you can just relax with your SO and take a night off from further responsibilities.
“A tender hug for no particular reason, other than you both naturally want to.” — Back2Bach
When you’re dating someone, you can randomly pull each other into comfortable embraces. This doesn’t always work so well when you’re with your friends or family because the same endorphins aren’t released. When you have romantic feelings for someone, touching them makes a big difference in your mood. A random hug can help you calm down after a stressful day at work or school and holding hands can make you forget all the relatively unimportant stressors in your life. It really is amazing how much a simple touch can benefit people in love.
Even something as simple as having someone accept your desire for touch can make a huge impact.
Of course, it all makes sense that any guy or girl would appreciate this in a relationship. According to love and marriage experts Dr. Charles and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz, who spoke to YourTango, regular touching is one of the most important things any couple can do in a relationship. They explained: “To touch someone you love is to acknowledge their presence and to communicate your desire for them. That’s why the most successfully married couples amongst us do it so often.”
12Letting The Mask Fall To The Floor
“Being able to be yourself. You can take off your public mask and just be the real you around them.” — ITGamer01011101
When we’re in public, most of us wear a specific mask. If we love model trains, we don’t randomly start talking up complete strangers about it and we don’t walk around wearing train conductor hats.
In a similar light, there are certain things we all love talking about but we reserve such topics for appropriate situations, lest the others around consider our enthusiasm odd. We’ve all been there, particularly in our high school and elementary school days. Someone starts talking about a movie or a game we love but before we can share how much we enjoy it, someone else speaks up to say how awful it is, which everyone else agrees it is. Now you decide to wear your public mask, where you choose to say nothing or join the crowd to agree you think it’s awful simply because you don’t want to negatively stand out.
The great thing about being in a relationship is that you get to remove the mask and just be yourself around them. If that means you get to enjoy acting weird together, then so be it! Have fun and be yourself!
11The Silly Times Are The Best Times
“Just being completely ridiculous with someone. Last night I hid from my partner under the dooner/duvet (or whatever you want to call it) and she couldn’t find me for a few seconds. It was completely stupid, but we both had a great laugh.” — Reddits_Worst_Night
Guys tend to have a silly side that they can’t reveal with most other people. Some men like to reserve this side of themselves for their significant others, so when @Reddits_Worst_Night thought he’d hide beneath the comforter of their bed to play with his girlfriend, he got to enjoy making her laugh. These small things in life are what make being in relationships so enjoyable.
The innocent, fun, silly things we do together is what makes a difference in what could otherwise be a pretty boring life.
When a guy you’re interested in starts acting silly around you, you can be sure you’re getting a glimpse of the real him. He’s enjoying your company and is hoping you’re enjoying his as well. The silly times really are the best of times when you’re with someone you love. All you need to do is relax, be yourself, and have some fun to create some pretty amazing memories.
10Turning Each Other On To New Things
“Maybe not the MOST underrated thing, but one of my favourites: Watching a TV show and then stopping once you know it’s good. Then proceeding to convince your partner to join you in bing[e]ing it from the start. Seeing their oo’s and ahh’s. And just enjoying something together… Same with Vidya/Restaurants and anything really.” — Mukkul
Very little can be as satisfying as loving something and sharing that something with your significant other, only to discover they love it too! Introducing each other to new things is tons of fun when you’re in a relationship! If you’re just talking with your partner and you reference a great movie you consider a classic to them and they admit they’ve never seen it, suddenly there’s an opportunity to spend more time with them and also to share in something entertaining to you.
It’s always great to introduce something new to your loved one because if they love it too, you can bond over it. It can be a movie, song, restaurant, specific park or beach, or can even be a type of yoga move or exercise — it doesn’t matter what it is, so long as your SO is open to learning about it or trying it out. The excitement and joy of watching someone engage in the activity for the first time can be one of the most satisfying things in the world!
9Talking Stuff Out
“This has probably been said already, but when I’m just having a downright terrible day, I know that she’ll come over and we can just chill and talk about stuff, and I don’t need to pretend that I’m ok. I like that we push each other to try new things. W[h]ether that be food or books or [societal] ideas. And I absolutely love to cuddle.” — Oldfordtruck
Knowing that your significant other will help you out of a funk is always a great perk of being in a relationship. To add depth to that feeling, knowing you can be completely open and honest with them about your feelings is an underrated, but ultimately necessary, part of any relationship.
@Oldfordtruck understands that having his girl by his side, through thick and thin, is one of the most meaningful parts of their partnership.
Sharing new ideas, trying new restaurants, and engaging in conversations about different books and ideas are ideal for any healthy relationship.
And, of course, all the cuddling in the world only makes things better.
Perfect relationships may not exist, but there are several elements of a relationship that can make a person feel like everything is just right. Just ask @Oldfordtruck.
8Reuniting And It Feels So Good…
“Missing them when you’ve been apart for a couple of days. I love the feeling of reuniting and falling asleep together that night.” — okey-dokey
Whether your partner works out of town, lives in a different city or is often sent away, regardless of the reason, it’s always wonderful to greet them upon their return. As someone once said, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” It’s true because it’s so easy to take a relationship with someone who is always around for granted. If you’re never apart, there’s never an opportunity to miss them.
When your partner has to leave for a little while, you suddenly notice all the little things they used to do for you. Now that she went to visit family for a week, you have to pick up all the chores you never noticed she kept up with and you have to go to sleep in a bed that suddenly seems enormous and empty. You can’t just start talking while you’re in the shower because she’s not at the sink, brushing her teeth. It’s all of these little things that accumulate and make you miss your partner while they’re away that makes you so much more grateful for their presence when they return.
“Being the big spoon and getting to nuzzle your face in the back of their neck with all their hair that smells amazing no matter what.” — AustinXTyler
When you’re laying down with your partner, of course, the big spoon gets to smell the little spoon’s shampoo! It’s a given! What many women don’t understand is that men react to the way they smell.
A man doesn’t randomly tell a woman she smells nice unless he genuinely believes she does — so when he’s nuzzling into your hair, take it as a compliment!
One of the things men secretly love about being in a relationship is how often they get to smell a girl’s perfume or hair. He can’t just go up to a woman who smells nice and ask to touch her hair — that’s almost guaranteed to get him arrested! But with a woman he loves, he can ask to touch her and have the satisfaction of hearing her give permission. It’s a give-and-take on a deeper level than most people realize. She’s allowing him to enter her personal space because she loves and trusts him, and he’s asking because he knows she won’t be offended by his request. It really boils down to sensory trust and romantic emotions boiling just beneath the surface of something as simple as a quick cuddle.
6Building A Comfort Zone Together
“The effortless physical contact. They may be holding a conversation with someone and then reach out to your and put their hand on your back. I’m terrible at describing it but it feels like it cements the togetherness you guys have.” — Mumtaz3580
Most people have their personal bubble of space and they don’t like anyone — ANYONE — invading it. When you’re in a romantic relationship, that bubble almost disappears entirely, or it merges with your partner’s bubble so you can coexist with casual touching that doesn’t always have to hold significant meaning. While you’re engaged in conversation, your partner may also be talking to someone, but the fact that they take a moment to rest their hand on your thigh, back, shoulder or hand tells you that they’re comfortable with you and they want you to be in their bubble.
The “effortless physical contact” helps couples feel needed and wanted, both of which create positive feelings. According to Dr. Aaron Ben-Zeév Ph.D. via Psychology Today: “Touch is crucial in creating and strengthening romantic relationships. Tactile physical affection is highly correlated with overall relationship and partner satisfaction.” So if you feel dissatisfied with your relationship, try talking things through and offering small touches here and there. Perhaps all you really need is that bond created by breaking the touch barrier.
5Bestie Time <3
“[B]eing best friends to each other; always having so much fun, always laughing, always having each other’s backs, feeling like it’s you two against every single problem you can have. Your problem is their problem, their problem is your problem.. dating your best friend is the best thing that could ever happen to you.” — [deleted]
One of the greatest parts of being in a romantic relationship is that you get to sort of go from being person A and person B to become a perfect blend of A and B. You don’t have to handle things alone anymore and your partner is literally by your side to help you face the good times and the bad.
Healthy relationships are those in which both parties are able to rely on each other for emotional, mental, and physical support.
Who can do this better than your best friend? Even if they weren’t your bestie before things got romantic, a partner quickly slides into that position simply because best friends always want to be around each other and always share secrets with one another. Your significant other can still have other best friends, but as your romantic partner, no one can ever come between you — it’s you and your SO against the world!
4Learning And Adapting To Each Other
“Watching a show or movie and being able to discuss the best/worst scenes/plot holes with each other and the things you liked or disliked about it. Also knowing each other’s tastes, being able to surprise each other with favorite snacks/things and asking your SO to pick up food and just say ‘you know what I like’.” — TinkeringNDbell
One of the greatest things about any relationship is the conversation. Some might argue that it’s the physical or even the emotional aspect that is the best part, but the bottom line is that if you can’t talk to the other person about literally anything, then none of the other factors matter! A great relationship is built on the ability to communicate effectively with one another, whether it’s about movies or each other’s personal tastes.
The reason great conversation is so important is that everything else is so generic, it can be done with literally anyone. Maintaining interest in what the other person has to say isn’t as simple as it seems, some people can be downright boring! When you’re with your partner, they might go off on a boring topic every now and then, but what keeps you stimulated is when they can talk to you about literally anything and you can respond in kind. It may not seem like much, but it’s actually one of the strongest building blocks of any relationship.
“Having an outlet for my weirdness. My SO and I occasionally like to have pretend conversations using only turkey noises. I find that kind of [stuff] hilarious, but when I was single I had no-one to do it with, so it just kinda stayed bottled up, and I felt like a more boring person as a result.” — almightycuppa
Sometimes we feel like being silly, but there’s literally no one else around so we either have to deal with it or just act funny without an audience, which is no fun.
When you’re in a romantic relationship, they might think you’re a weirdo, but that doesn’t mean they’re any less attracted to you!
When you find the right partner, they’ll think you’re strange but then they’ll be willing to jump right in with you and act silly together because why not?
Okay, so maybe not everyone makes weird turkey noises in place of regular conversation, but given enough time, any relationship will delve into the strange and abnormal — it’s human nature! It’s all part of having the freedom to do what you want and say what you want without fear of being ridiculed or judged by the person you’ve allowed into your personal bubble.
“You have somebody to try to look good for. If you’re just dressing for yourself, it’s going to be for comfort. If it’s for somebody else, it’s going to be for trying to make them feel desired like you think they’re worth the effort. The bonus is that if you’re dressed nicer you feel better about yourself.” — GabrielKlute
They say that if you look good, you feel good, and who doesn’t want to feel and look good? While a crucial part of a romantic relationship is feeling comfortable in your own skin around your partner, it’s also fun to have somebody to dress up for! Having a date-night is a great opportunity for you and your SO to go out on the town, dress nicely, and have a romantic night that’s all about the two of you and your relationship.
When we get comfortable in a relationship, there is definitely less effort being made in terms of impressing the other person. However, just because we’re comfortable with someone doesn’t mean that we should give up, right? Every now and then, it’s fun, and healthy for your relationship, to have a special night out — it certainly adds excitement to the mix! Plus, it’s nice to be told by your beloved how good you look, no matter how long you’ve been together!
1Ending The Day With Perfection
“The bliss of falling asleep in a hug.” — TomatoDemon
Little is more comfortable than falling asleep while hugging another person. Even if it’s really stuffy or hot, just grab a fan and fall asleep to a cool breeze and the sound of air whooshing through the rotating blades. The importance of touch isn’t new — people understand the intimacy involved in touching another person, so when you’re in bed at night, about to fall asleep, you’re at your most vulnerable.
What better way to tell someone you trust them with your life than to end the night in an embrace as you drift off to slumberland?
After spending a day flirting, laughing, tickling, cuddling, sharing new ideas and trying new things, a couple can already feel like they’re on top of the world, so how could their day possibly get any better? They can brush their teeth at night, use their mouthwash, cuddle a little more, talk to each other while they’re getting comfy in bed, then turn out the lights and fall asleep in a warm embrace. It’s the perfect ending for any day, and the great thing is when you wake up, you’ll do so next to your favorite person in the world.