A great boyfriend isn’t easy to find.
And even if you do find him, almost always, he’s already in someone else’s arms.
But have you ever wondered what really separates an average boyfriend from a great one?
Well, there are a few qualities and traits that can help you figure that out.
[Read: 10 traits of a good boyfriend that really matter!]
Finding your perfect boyfriend
All of us have flaws, and it would be silly to believe that we’re all perfect.
So when you go looking for a great guy, make sure you have what it takes to be a great girl yourself!
[Read: 10 qualities of a great girlfriend you need to have]
Guys and girls have their own flaws.
But almost always, these flaws aren’t really flaws.
Sometimes, it’s just ignorance.
A guy may just not know what a girl likes, even if he tries to understand her or please her.
There’s the potential of a great boyfriend in every guy, if only he chooses to reflect within and turn himself into the man of your dreams.
The qualities that make a great boyfriend
If you have to look for the one big quality that makes a good boyfriend, it would be his will to communicate with you and understand you.
Relationships are built on communication and understanding.
If you’re dating a guy and even if he seems perfect to begin with, time can reveal cracks and flaws, differences and resentments, between the both of you. [Read: 50 questions to test your relationship compatibility instantly!]
Communicate with each other
Learn to talk to each other, communicate with each other about wants, desires and individual dreams.
Of course, now and then, no matter how hard you try to make a relationship work with a boyfriend, he may just be too stubborn or unwilling to change. And in circumstances like these, it’s always better to just let go and find someone you find more compatible. [Read: 16 reasons why a boyfriend could get really mean]
25 signs and qualities that make a great boyfriend
If you’ve just started dating a new guy over the last few weeks, use these 25 signs and qualities of a great boyfriend as a reference to help you judge whether both of you are a good fit.
These qualities aren’t herculean nor are these expectations from a boyfriend too ambitious. If he is a great guy indeed, then these 25 traits would be deep-rooted within his mind.
If he lacks a few of these 25 signs now, you can talk about it with him. But if he’s missing several qualities pointed out here, you’re probably better off dating someone else!
#1 He communicates. A great boyfriend loves talking to his girlfriend. He has interesting things to talk about even when there’s nothing new. And most importantly, he wants to understand you and he wants you to understand him. [Read: Perfect things to talk about with your boyfriend and understand him better]
#2 He’s exciting and fun. He’s active and has a fun life of his own. A great boyfriend is almost always a great guy too. He has an active social life, and gets along with people easily. He’s likable and has a warm aura about him that draws people to him.
#3 He’s romantic. A guy may woo a girl until she accepts to date him. But some guys take it easy as soon as they get the girl. Don’t date a guy who takes a back seat and expects you to do all the work as soon as he wins your heart. He won’t change for you because he’s too self centered and selfish. [Read: 25 signs your boyfriend really loves you even if he doesn’t say it out loud!]
#4 He sees you. A great boyfriend is one who sees you, and knows you well. Does he notice your new haircut or a new dress when you wear one? If a guy loves you and finds you fascinating, he’d be observant and would easily recognize something new in you.
#5 He’s interested in your life. Does your boyfriend ask you about your life every day? A good boyfriend is always interested to hear about his girlfriend’s life and the things she does every day. It just means he misses you so much, and hearing about your day makes him feel like he hasn’t missed a moment of your life!
#6 He doesn’t force you. He doesn’t pressurize you into doing something you don’t want to do. He may advice you and may try to convince you about why he believes something is right, but he won’t try to manipulate you or threaten you into doing something he wants you to do. [Read: Am I being subtly emotionally abused? – 17 sure signs]
#7 He tries to make you a better person. When two people love each other, they can’t help but try to bring out the best sides in each other. If your boyfriend loves you, he’d constantly try to motivate you and help you achieve your full potential instead of telling you that you’re incompetent or can’t do something.
#8 Your friends and family. A good boyfriend would always try to impress your friends and your family, even if he can’t get along with a few of them, because he wants them to believe he’s a great guy worthy enough of dating a sweet girl like you.
#9 He makes time for you. No matter how busy he is or how occupied he is, he always makes time for you. He could sacrifice his sleep or stay up longer, but he’d want to be with you at least for a few minutes or hours. And that’s not because you’re nagging him, but because he misses you and your touch.
#10 He respects you. He doesn’t ogle at other girls in front of you. He never speaks about you in bad light to his friends. And most importantly, he knows that you’re better than him in many ways and admires you for that. [Read: How to get rid of your boyfriend’s wandering eye]
#11 He has goals in life. A great boyfriend is one who has goals in life and works towards achieving them. He doesn’t bitch and moan about how unfair life is. Instead, he grabs life by the horns and tries to make something great out of it. [Read: How to be successful in life by taking that first step]
#12 He’s not stubborn. A guy may be stubborn when it comes to his ambition and his determination, but he should never be stubborn when it comes to making decisions or making life plans with his girlfriend. Compromises and sacrifices are a part of making a relationship work in the long run.
#13 He compromises for you. He’d be willing to do something with you even if he hates it, if only to make you happy, especially if it means a lot to you.
#14 He wants you to be independent. A good boyfriend may want to spend all his time with you, but at the same time, he’d still give you the space to pursue your own dreams. As much as he loves you and misses you, he’d still want you to have a life of your own. [How giving space in a relationship can make both of you better lovers]
#15 He makes you feel secure and loved. He goes out of his way to make you feel loved, by indulging in romantic gestures and words. He loves you and never ceases to show his love for you in little ways. [Read: 36 sweetest things a boyfriend could do with you]
#16 He tries to look good for you. He grooms himself when he comes to meet you because he wants to look good in your arms. He even works out and stays fit because he respects you and wants to look his best for you.
#17 He’s great in bed. A perfect boyfriend initiates and maintains an active sex life. He’s innovative and tries to keep sex fun because he realizes that sex is just as important as love in a happy romance. [Read: 30 sexy ways to spice up your sex life]
#18 He doesn’t have any addictions. Many guys let their life spin out of control when their addictions take control of their life. If you’re dating someone who can’t suppress his addictions, you may have a hard time communicating with him or making the relationship work with him, unless he’s willing to change himself. [Read: Why some men choose porn over having sex with their girlfriend]
#19 He’s a man of principles. He doesn’t backtrack on his words. He makes promises and keeps them. He’s in control of his life, and has firm principles in life.
#20 He helps you trust him. Insecurities and doubts always have a way of cropping up in a relationship when there are secrets or lies. A great boyfriend doesn’t give you any opportunity to doubt him, and communicates with you frankly and avoids lying or keeping secrets that may affect the relationship. [Read: 13 secret signs your boyfriend’s not over his ex yet!]
#21 He’s not lonely. Dating a lonely guy may mean he would have a lot of time to spare for you, which may seem like a good thing. But if he’s abandoned or avoided by the rest of the world, there’s probably a good reason behind why no one gets along with him. Maybe he’s antisocial or needy, or perhaps he’s a manipulator or an aggressive guy. If the guy you’re dating is lonely, be wary before falling too deep in love with him, or you may end up feeling like a caged bird in no time. [Read: Are insecure guys ever worth dating?]
#22 He listens to you. A good boyfriend doesn’t think he’s a know it all. He’s always willing to hear you out and listen to your point of view completely before taking a decision, especially if the decision involves the both of you.
#23 He doesn’t try to control you. A guy may seem like a great boyfriend initially. But as the months pass by, he may start to subtly and deviously control you one step at a time. If you notice even the slightest signs of controlling behavior in him, speak with him about it so he can change before it’s too late. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend]
#24 He calls you. A great boyfriend stays in touch all the time, and keeps you updated about his life. He doesn’t see the need to be secretive, nor does he avoid your calls when he goes out with his friends at night. For you, he’s an open book and never ignores you or shuts you out of his life. [Read: 20 little ways to make your man happy and make him fall more in love with you]
#25 You’re important to him. If your boyfriend really does love you and sees a future with you, he’d place you above everything else in his life. You’re the most important thing in his life, and everything else just takes second place.
So how many of these 25 signs and qualities of a great boyfriend do you see in your guy? If you see a few missing, talk about it with him. As much as these signs seem instinctual, sometimes your guy may just not realize it until you point it out to him.