Have you ever seen the movie You, Me, and Dupree? It was a movie about a grown relationship with a perpetual third wheeling person in the equation. I won’t go into the specifics because we all relate to the third wheeling friend.
Sometimes a third wheel is a nice buffer to get to know someone, but if you find they cause an issue in your relationship, as hard as it is to say something, you must.
How to lose your third wheeling buddy
It isn’t just that a third wheel is more than you need to make things run, it is that a tricycle has a third wheel. And tricycles are for children. If you are an adult, it is time to move on to the two-wheeler. As hard as it is to cut someone loose, to ride things out well, it’s time.
#1 Find a fourth wheel. The easiest way to get rid of a third wheel is to find it its own pair. Imagine two fully functional pairs going along life together. No matter how messed up they are or if they insist they are okay hanging with you, finding them something better and more exciting than your ride to get them on their own track leaves you with some twosome peace.
#2 Lose the video games. I know this is going to sound absolutely ridiculous, and girls you can totally tune out, but if you want to get rid of the third wheel, lose your gaming system.
Men are notorious for not being able to let go of their youth. Video games serve as a prime way men relate. If your third wheel is the late-night guy who can’t seem to stop shooting people online, ditch the video games. He will be forced to find someone else to play with.
#3 Be direct. It feels like you told them enough times that “maybe” they should think about finding other plans. You aren’t exactly Captain Obvious if they haven’t heard you loud and clear.
#4 Blame it on your significant other. I know, right? A total puss move. But, if you can’t seem to break it to your buddy that they are third wheeling and causing late night fights, then bite the bullet, and, well, be an idiot, but do what you have to do and blame it on your significant other.
Just make sure to paint them in an awesome light and don’t make them your scapegoat. The last thing to do is turn your third wheel into your partner hater.
#5 Grow up. Perhaps the reason your third wheel isn’t getting it is that you are being a child. If you want them to know they are the third wheel, then don’t make it seem like you are totally cool with it.
Don’t send mixed messages by telling them that you want to be alone and then texting them to meet you out. That isn’t cool for anyone. If you want to have a two-person relationship and get rid of the third wheel, truly, then grow up and start acting like what you want is something serious that includes only two people.
#6 Just don’t tell them. Again, sneaky; I get it. But, you don’t have to tell your third wheel about every aspect of your life. If you don’t want them to tag along, then don’t pick up your phone or tell them what you are doing.
When you tell them what your plans are, they hear “so come along.” Let the call lag, don’t answer them, or even call them back in the morning, if you want to lose your third wheel at least for a night.
#7 Explain it to them. Play it Captain Obvious, ignore them, or try a third way, appeal to their emotional side. They aren’t going to be upset if you tell them from your heart that their presence causes problems in your current relationship.
Honestly, if it does make them mad, then they don’t deserve to hang out with you. A person who isn’t okay with stepping out of the third wheel relationship, if just for a bit, uses you and you need to be okay with telling them “no” if an emotional appeal doesn’t work.
#8 Limit your activities to one day a week. It is hard when you start to date someone to dump the person in your life that has always been there. Not just that, you shouldn’t. One of the best ways to lose your third wheeling friend is by giving them their own day.
It can either be your day to spend alone with them as their second wheel or make an agreement with your partner that Tuesdays are “Dupree” days. Giving them some consistency might make the break up easier.
#9 Make them feel awkward. At some point, they have to get it. Remember when you were a little kid, and someone would talk to you, and just to be nasty, you pretended they weren’t there? Well, if that is what it comes to, then so be it. If you make someone feel invisible enough, they eventually disappear.
#10 Find their kryptonite and use it against them. If all else fails and you can’t seem to lose the loser who can’t take a hint, then use their kryptonite against them. If they have a hangout they simply won’t go to, hate a sport, or even don’t like a type of food, guess what?