Does your girlfriend often pick fights with you? Do you usually find yourself in an argument with your girlfriend either before, during, or after a date? Are the so-called “lovers’ quarrels” becoming more frequent?
Well, it is common for you to encounter arguments, as there is no relationship that’s smooth sailing. However, as a guy, it is very important that you understand what makes your girl mad. This is because it’s never healthy to be always in a bad mood. Anger and anxiety cloud both your judgment, and this leads to misunderstanding, miscommunication, and sometimes, even the end of your love affair.
So how do you prevent petty fights from taking place? It all begins by knowing what makes your girlfriend mad. Here are the most common reasons why girlfriends get angry:
1. You still keep remnants of your previous relationship.
Women usually don’t understand this, but when men end a relationship, it’s practically over and part of the past. However, they won’t bother to clean the past because for them it’s “no longer important.”
The female species otherwise think differently. Hence, you need to realize that your girl needs to be secure with you, physically, emotionally, and even mentally. She may instantly freak out when she sees an old photo of you and your ex on Facebook, and she definitely won’t let this slide.
You may want to counter this by telling her beforehand about your previous relationships, so she knows how to react whenever she encounters tidbits of your past. Also, if it really doesn’t matter to you anymore, make sure to clean up everything that was left behind in your prior affair, so your current partner would not have a reason to get angry.
2. You don’t keep your promises.
Keeping promises is one of the biggest things girls cherish in their boyfriends. They remember every little thing you say that you will do, such as taking them to the movies on Thursday, picking them up at work, or accompanying them to church. You fail to do any of your promises, they’d be angry.
More importantly, they get mad when you don’t keep much bigger promises, such as stopping your vices, cleaning your room, and staying away from people and friends who do not do you any good.
They get mad because they trust your word but you broke it. They get mad because these failures are signs that you cannot be depended on, that you are becoming complacent in your relationship. They feel like you are losing your commitment to them and the partnership that you share.
Hence, when you promise to do something, do it. When you promise to change, stand up to it. Show your commitment through your actions, not just in words.
3. You won’t tell her the whole truth.
There are instances when your girlfriend already knows what you did in a particular incident but you won’t tell her everything. This ignites flames because for her you are not telling the whole truth, and that you are hiding something from her. You can expect her to bicker about this until you give in, or until she decides to break things up.
Girls get mad in such situations because they want you to be honest. They’d rather hear the painful truth than continue a relationship with lies. Also, before they start asking, they’ve already done their research. All they need from you is the validation of the things they have found out.
If you are serious with your girlfriend, then you should have no secrets to hide (unless of course, you are planning a sweet surprise for her). You may want to tell her the truth first before someone else does.
4. She was expecting you to do something but you didn’t.
It may sound funny, but there are a lot of girls who get mad because their boyfriends didn’t do what they were expecting them to do –even if the girls didn’t tell their boyfriend what they wanted.
Let’s be clear: you are no mind reader. However, girls, in a way, expect their boyfriends to exercise mind-reading abilities.
Yet you can actually prevent this from happening by simply noticing her. Girls love it when their boyfriends see their new haircut, the perfume they are wearing, or how flawless their makeup is. Giving them these compliments shows that you are paying attention to their efforts, and this helps a lot in making them forget about their expectations from you. They would even let their guard down because they are assured that you are thinking ahead, and that you are giving them your undivided attention.
5. You make more time with your friends than with her.
It pains for any girl to see that her man prefers to hang out with his friends more than he does with her. It makes her feel unwanted, unappreciated, and most of all, unimportant. She may not only get mad at you, but would later find ways to stay away just so you’d notice her absence.
Let’s say you have a busy schedule at work and have other commitments to attend to aside from your relationship. You may also have close ties with your friends, to the point that you sometimes think that “girls come and go but friends don’t.”
However, you should keep in mind that your girlfriend is someone special. She’s the person you chose to be in a relationship with. She’s your partner, your best friend, and your current other half. She is not someone whom you’d make to wait for you for hours, or someone whom you’d turn to when you are in need. She is different. And she stands out from all your other friends.
You may want to put her on your priority list, especially when your relationship is getting more serious. Allot time for you to bond.
It also helps that you introduce her to your friends, so she knows who you are hanging out with. Allow her to see them as persons and why good pals with them. This way, it would be easier for you two to come up with a compromise when it comes to your time management priorities.
In a nutshell
Being a boyfriend is not easy. Girls get mad at the simplest things, but it doesn’t mean you have to give up right away. Rather, let her feel that your relationship is worth the try. Who knows, through your efforts, she too would see that you are the guy she’s been looking for, and what you share is the start of forever.