Oversharing can feel cathartic, especially when you’re sharing with close friends, but blabber beware: it can also leave you, your man, and your friends in a terribly awkward position.
Sometimes, you just need the ear of a gal pal to listen to your complaints, spicy exploits, or newest boyfriend drama, but what happens when what you say about your guy completely morphs your girlfriends’ opinion of him? Nothing is more uncomfortable than learning information about a friend’s mate that you can’t shake off the next time you see him. Suddenly a polite hello turns into your friend politely hiding from his eyesight.
Some women, especially your single friends, might even start to feel sick or jealous of your endless supply of wonderful boyfriend stories.
What you shouldn’t share about your man to your girl friends
So what topics are the best to avoid? Read on to find out the 6 details you should never share about your man.
#1 His penis size. This should be obvious, and no matter how much you may want to brag *or cry* about the subject, trust us that’s it a no-go when it comes to the size of his junk. Why? There are three answers to this question, none of which will benefit your friendship. [Read: What women really think about penises]
Answer #1: It’s big. It’s larger than life, and your exquisite experience has you wanting to shout your good fortune from the rooftops. But remember this: If it’s big, your girls won’t be likely to forget that exact number. Believe me, I’ve had friends scar me with this information in the past.
And that’s exactly what they’ll be thinking about the next time they see your man. What’s worse than having your girlfriend inadvertently wonder what it looks like, or how well he can use it?
Answer #2: It’s small. Like the aforementioned answer, your girlfriends will never, ever forget you’re dating someone with a small dick. Unless his inadequate size is leaving you in a perpetual pity-party and you absolutely have to talk about it, then best keep this information to yourself and spare your man the embarrassment. Wouldn’t want one of your friends drunkenly spilling the beans, would you?
Answer #3: It’s gross. You share details about your pap-test, period cramps, why your family is driving you crazy, and what new shows you and the boy are watching – all perfectly acceptable conversation topics for a late lunch with the girls. That being said, your boyfriend’s penis size more than crosses the line into juvenile conversation topics. You’re not 16 anymore. Respect your sex.
#2 Great in bed. Right along with the size of his Johnson, his fabulous skills in the sack should probably be kept to yourself. Yes, he does that amazing thing with his tongue and knows all the right moves and all the right places, but beware that while you’re sharing your blissful bedded experience, your girlfriends may just be wondering how they could have a similar experience.
While there are many girls who would never backstab a bestie, never say it’d never happen to you.
Too many trusting girls have shared their sexy deets about their talented lover, only to have their closest gal-pals try to get in on the action. [Read: 6 reasons you should never date a friend’s ex]
#3 He’s BAD in bed. While you may want a shoulder to cry on about exactly how lost your man seems to be between the sheets, you might want to hold back on this one. Are you planning on keeping him around? If so, best keep his pride safe, and forgo telling all your friends how you’ve become one of those women faking a headache just to get out of sex. You know, at least until you’re done with him.
#4 All about his family drama. Family drama should be kept to yourself, especially when you’re talking about someone else’s! If your man has shared shameful family secrets with you, show respect and keep your lips zipped on the matter. Remember that, while they’re not your family, your mate shared these details with you for a reason, and they would probably be mortified to know you told your BFF about Drunken Uncle Bucky’s cross-dressing Christmas parties.
If the story is particularly juicy, scandalous, or a sore, hurtful subject, then you have all the more reason not to blab about it to your friends.
#5 Everything you don’t like about him. Women have a tendency that, no matter how in love they are, they can always pick *and pick and pick* a habit that they don’t like about their man, and roll with it on a rant to their close friends. If you’re telling your friends about every single fight, misgiving, trust issue, name-call, or drunken spat you’ve had with your man, then odds are they’re not going to end up liking the guy too much.
Remember that while you deal with the rough stuff in a relationship, you also get to experience all the wonderful, little things about it that make that rough stuff irrelevant. Your friends don’t. When all they hear are complaints and fights you’re having with your man, they’re going to start to wonder why you’re with him at all. [Read: What to do when your friends don’t like your boyfriend]
#6 EVERY detail. Nobody wants to be the girl who can’t seem to have anything intelligent to say, if it doesn’t somehow revolve around her boyfriend. If you find yourself talking about the dimples he gets when he smiles or the way he tucks you in at night or how adorable he looks when he just got out of bed, odds are you’re getting a metaphorical eye roll from your besties.