Are you… currently single but not happy being one?
Are you starting to mope over the fact that most of your friends are in a relationship or are already married? And that some of them are even already starting their own families? That you are being invited as part of a wedding entourage or in children’s birthdays, but that you are never the one standing by lurch or the parent of the child having a birthday blowout? And are you beginning to see your future alone and single… forever?
If your answer to these questions is yes, then don’t fret. Guess what: you’re not alone in this situation.
There’s no point to dread being single forever. And here are 7 ways for you to get past that:
1. Ask yourself, why are you single anyway?
We often think that when we are single, our goal is to find a partner and be in a relationship. But if there’s one thing we avoid, it’s asking ourselves this question: why are we single?
Perhaps you are single because you’ve just come out of a breakup. Maybe you are busy with other priorities such as studies or work, and that you have aspirations to fulfill that do not require a romantic partner. Or maybe, just maybe, you do not feel good about yourself, and your like of confidence reflects in the way you present yourself to others.
When you have answered this question, that’s the time when you are able to face your fear of being single forever, as by then you know which direction to take. Your answers will determine whether being single is actually the best situation you are in, or it’s time that you take action to change your life for the better.
2. Focus on your aspirations.
You only live once. That’s a fact. And with life being too short and uncertain, it is a must that you live it in the most fulfilled way possible. Your terms. Your style. Your design. With that said, you don’t have to wallow over being single, just because everybody’s in the relationship bandwagon.
Rather, you may want to focus on your dreams and aspirations. Work towards achieving them, and even going beyond everyone’s expectations. At the end of the day, the only one who can realize your true value is yourself, not anyone else – not even a romantic partner.
If there’s any consolation, you may be bound to be single forever but you get to enjoy every moment of it through a fulfilling career and with the people who value you, wouldn’t that suffice?
3. Would you rather be single forever than be tied to commitments and obligations that come in a relationship?
When you are single, you often imagine being in a relationship that’s filled with sweetness and romance. And that’s normal. However, reality bites and it’s not always love and romance that makes a relationship work.
A lot of couples stay together because of a promise they made to each other, because it’s what their families and friends want for them, and maybe also because it has become the most convenient setup they are in – even if they know they no longer love each other. Would you want to be in a relationship just because you don’t want to be alone? Or would you rather stay single and fulfilled with what you have become?
4. Stop making a big fuss over things on social media.
Affected by what you see on Facebook? You think all Twitter posts about the misery of being single speak to you? Tired of reading stories about being single and not loving it? Well, perhaps you need to take the time off from social media, and stop making a big fuss over the dreaded “single” status.
Among many things, they don’t speak to you. These posts are targeting the general public, not you specifically. Hence, you need not believe or get hurt by what they say. You may want to focus on doing things that increase your self-worth and confidence, as these are the things that truly matter to every individual.
5. True love waits.
This may sound cliché but yes, true love waits. Healthy and lasting relationships involve people who know how to wait for the good things to come. Perhaps you have to learn how to be patient too, and you can make good use of the waiting time by working on the things that bring out the best in you.
Who knows, you may find your true love in the most unexpected occasion – or even in that instance you feel that you are ready for it to come.
6. Listen to a feel-good playlist.
Music does a lot in making us forget about our worries, including that of being single. So if you are in need of a quick fix in overcoming this fear, then you better have a playlist to keep you upbeat. You may want to for songs that make you feel relaxed and refreshed, tunes that have an energetic vibe that allows you to dance freely and spontaneously.
And yes, avoid the mushy heartbreak lyrics with “bitter about life” stanzas. They will just ruin your mood.
7. Do things that inspire you.
What are the things that inspire you? Some people feel happier when they are outdoors, either hiking or frolicking in the beach. Others meanwhile feel their best when partying with friends, or attending social gatherings where they meet new people. There are also folks who find confidence when acquiring a new skill. And yes, maybe you should do the same too.
The trick is, always find an inspiration, a particular something that allows you to put your best foot forward. This is because when you are inspired, the more in solid your moral compass becomes, and the better you become in facing whatever life has in store – without the actual need of being in a relationship.
Cultural and societal pressures may be getting the best of you, as we all are expected to get married and have a family of our own. It’s the circle of life, they say. But you don’t have to follow suit; when you are single, it’s all a matter of perspective. There’s no need to get sad about it, as it only means there’s a lot to do with that unique kind of freedom that you have. Who cares if you end up single forever? It’s your life and you’re in control of it, not anybody else.