Just coming from a bad breakup? Yeah, it’s not easy and there is no shortcut to make the pain go away soon. However, it won’t last forever. Soon you will move on and there is no looking back. And trust me if I say you’ll end up a better person if you handle this situation properly.
A failed relationship can cause self-doubt, feeling of worthlessness, and fear of loving again. People involved in breakups, especially those who were left behind, think they couldn’t get over it and live without their ex. Nevertheless, after months of being on their own, they realized they were wrong.
The Post-Breakup Syndrome
How do you know if you are going through the normal process of overcoming a breakup? Well, you simply experience all or some of the following:
• You can’t sleep nor eat for the first one or two weeks.
• You either lose or gain weight.
• You’re checking your phone every 5 minutes hoping your ex sent you a message.
• You’re asking yourself what you’ve done wrong.
• You think if only you were more beautiful or handsome, then your ex couldn’t have left you.
• Your thoughts are fighting whether you should erase your photos together.
• You remember your ex in every corner of your house, street, or basically everywhere.
These are normal reactions of a normal person in heartbreak, so don’t be afraid of what you’re going through. They will be over soon.
To help you cope up with a breakup better, here are some ways that may inspire you to move on.
1. Fight for your love until you get tired.
This sounds stupid, foolish, and pathetic, but actually it can help you move forward without regrets. If you truly love someone, you fight for him/her even if there’s no chance of winning—at least you’ve done your part. This way, you can move on without asking ‘what if’s’ or thinking ‘if only’s’.
Also, once you get tired from fighting for someone who doesn’t want to come back, moving on becomes easier simply because you get tired of it and the person.
2. Stop being sentimental.
Throw anything that can remind you of the past. It is not easy to do, but trust me, it will help lighten up your load. If you cannot let go of keepsakes, it means you are still holding on. However, if you know it’s pointless to hold on, then be brave enough to burn all the false hopes. Memories cannot bring back what’s gone.
Unless s/he asked you to, don’t return the stuff given to you. They’re already yours. If you do it, your ex would be compelled to return what you gave him/her as well—and seeing those things won’t do you any good. If seeing the stuff you shared with each other or you received brings back memories, then just burn or throw them away.
3. Don’t be clingy.
If what you want is your ex crawling back to you, then stop being clingy. Humans always want to play hard to get. However, when they find out that the one who likes them has stopped running after them, they wonder why and pursue after that person.
Well, this is also good for moving on after breakup though, especially if you don’t want to try the first suggestion. At least, with this, you save your pride and stop hoping.
4. Use this as a motivation to be the best version of yourself.
This is very common among heartbroken people, but mind you, this is really the best part. Aim higher goals for yourself. Shake off your frustrations and be ambitious. Strive to be perfect—this may be not possible—but the pressure can help you correct as many flaws as possible.
Just an advice though: don’t do this because you want your ex to get back to you. Instead, do this because you have realized you don’t deserve to be dumped by just anyone, and you deserve the best because you are the best.
5. Meet new and people, and make more friends.
Meeting new people and making friends will give you an opportunity to find a better person and forget about your ex. I’m not saying you look for a rebound. Before you enter a new relationship, make sure you have moved on completely, so there will be no inhibitions. Nevertheless, it’s not bad to be surrounded with a lot of friends. Their company will help keep you from loneliness.
6. Be career oriented.
Being single gives you an opportunity to focus on your dreams and improve your career. Love can’t keep you alive when you and your kids get hungry in the future. So, strive to be an independent, stable career person. This can help improve your self-worth, and even if you get brokenhearted again, it would still be intact.
Also, being busy in your career after breakup can distract you from reminiscing the past. Without your notice, months have passed by already, and you realize you’ve moved on.
7. Find a new environment.
Do this only if after months following breakup, you still can’t function normally and you’re too depressed. If your current workplace or neighborhood reminds you a lot of your failed relationship, especially if your ex is just around the corner, then moving to a new place is not that bad. You can decide to change environment and begin anew. A fresh start can help you regain direction for yourself.
You have the control
Yes, breakup can be hard and painful. However, it is a normal part of life. As much as possible, don’t let it destroy you. Don’t let your emotions dictate how you should live your life, because you could expect your decisions to be irrational. It must be mind over matter.
After breakup, try to live a normal life. Don’t try anything self-destructive like drugs or suicide. Surround yourself with people who can encourage you. Give your best at school or work. Look at the bright side of life always. With the right attitude, you can move on without being too broken.