At one point in our lives, we fall in love with someone we cannot have. No, this doesn’t pertain to celebrity crushes, but more about a person who has touched our lives in a deep and intimate way but fate just won’t let us be with them in this lifetime. Brewing such feelings can be exciting, as you are more than willing to gamble everything you have; however, once you realize it’s a losing game, getting over it can be more excruciating than expected.
So how do you get over someone you can’t have? It all begins with the will to move on, and here are 8 ways that may help you out:
1.Accept the fact that what you are feeling is normal.
Getting rejected is painful. A love unrequited is painful. Choosing to let go of a love you know will never last is painful. And guess what: the pain is normal. It is normal because you were hurt by the situation, by the decisions you’ve made. But feeling the pain is only the first step towards a new beginning, so it is best that you wallow in it until the pain subsides. It won’t be a smooth process, but it helps a lot opening your heart to heal.
2. Put away the pictures. Put away the memories.
If you have memories of that someone you refer to as “the one who got away,” then better put them out of sight for a while. Yes, hide the pictures, avoid the songs that remind you of him or her, and as much as possible don’t come near the places where you two have visited. Sure, some people would say that you are being bitter over the heartbreak, but if it helps you feel better as a whole, then do it. At the end of the day, your ultimate goal is to overcome the heartache and return to your normal, happy-or even happier, self.
3. Spend time with the people that matter to you.
Just because you’re experiencing a heartache it doesn’t mean that the world has ended. In fact, it had only just begun since you’re facing a new beginning. It is also the time for you to see that there are many other people who value and love you unconditionally, and these include your family and friends.
Their company not only keeps you preoccupied, but it also provides you with a strong sense of support coming from people who believe in you no matter what.
4. Enjoy your personal space.
There’s no reason to be sad when you’re not with family or friends, but do expect that it will kick in once you’re all alone again. You don’t have to feel bad about being alone, however. In fact, you should rejoice because you have the space to do whatever you want!
You may want to use this space to rearrange and redecorate your home so that you’d have a new vibe of your dwelling. You may also find ways to make good use of this void by learning a new skill, or going on a solo-adventure. It’s now your rules that matter!
5. Follow your bucket list.
Maybe you are just prying over the heartache because you feel like you haven’t achieved anything in your life yet. With that said, then perhaps it’s time to cross out some items off your bucket list by actually doing them.
Guess what: there are a lot of workshops and capsule classes wherein you can learn various hobbies, such as painting, sketching, calligraphy, and even cooking. You may want to sign up and enroll in them during your free days. Through these activities, you not only get to spend your alone time productively, but also learn something new about yourself-without thinking about that person who broke your heart.
6. Keep a journal.
Writing a journal may be a thing of the past, but putting your thoughts and feelings on paper helps a lot in overcoming the pain easier. Write whatever you feel on that day, and do the same as each day passes by. It is only by going through the pages after a period of time will you see your journey towards moving on, and it has been a wonderful and meaningful time so far. You’ll also realize that at every turn of the page, your perspective on life is also taking a new direction-far away from your heartache.
Did you know that exercising and following a healthy diet are great for those who are trying to move on?
Embracing a healthy and active lifestyle brings a lot of wonders because they not only help keep you fit; they also give you a fresher take on life in the future. Regular exercise helps boost serotonins, or the hormones that keep you in a happy disposition, while a balanced diet makes your senses feel more relaxed and at their best shape. And who knows, this route would serve as a preparation phase towards a better, more beautiful you.
Always remember that God doesn’t give us problems that we cannot overcome, or pain that we cannot bear. So if you feel like the heartache is becoming too heavy for you to handle, then it’s time to pray. By praying you not only talk to God but you also release your worries and let them go. Through praying you also get to contemplate on what you want to do with your life, both during this trying time and once you have finally moved on.
Getting over someone that you cannot have is difficult, to the very least. But that’s not the end of the road. There’s still a lot of new adventures that will come your way, and maybe this is just the first of them, an obstacle that aims to make you stronger until you find the right one. And yes, it always pays to be a hopeful realist rather than a hopeless romantic. By the time the “right one” comes, you already know how to love in your most ideal state.