Face it, everyone makes mistakes. Unfortunately, it is just an annoying part of life that has to happen. No one is perfect. And sometimes mistakes happen in situations with people you care about the most like with family and romantic relationships. Not only have I seen my best friends make tons of mistakes in their own relationships, I’ve made quite a few, too.
Usually, relationships can survive after certain mistakes; it’s how you handle what happens next that matters the most. When mistakes are made during relationships, it’s important to address the wrongdoing and acknowledge that you messed up. Nothing says I’m sorry more than some chocolate covered strawberries and some sweet cuddle time, or you know, whatever you and your partner are in to will work best.
Owning up to your mistakes shows maturity and compassion. Understanding what you did wrong will help you learn not to make those same mistakes again later on down the road. Once you’ve come to the realization that mistakes are going to happen, it’s easier to learn how to move on past the mistakes you or your partner have made. For me, though, admitting to my mistakes is really hard, but I’ve definitely made some major ones over the years. You might actually find you can relate to some of my blunders! Here are 20 oopsies I’ve made in my past relationships.
20Falling Too Fast
New relationships are fun and exciting. It’s hard not to get caught up in all the romance and exploration. If you’re like me, then you, too, have a habit of falling too fast.
With new relationships, it’s important to take your time to get to know who someone really is before deciding whether or not they are your one true love.
Though waiting to let the sparks fly can be difficult, it can probably save you from some serious heartbreak. If you take the time to get to know someone, you’ll be able to make an honest and thoughtful decision on where the relationship is supposed to go.
19Getting Way Too Clingy
People like their personal space and believe it or not, but people need to breathe. I know, incredible, right? All jokes aside, your partner is going to need some time for themselves now and then. It’s about trusting them to behave even if you’re not around to watch them.
No one likes a clinger. The word itself has a negative meaning; it usually deals with something that is stuck on no matter how hard you desperately try to shake it off. Who would want their partner to think of them that way? Unfortunately, I’ve been known to become a stage five clinger a time or two. I’m working on it, okay?
18Complaining About Him To Everyone
Remember, while you will eventually forgive your partner for doing something to hurt you, your friends and family probably never will. In one of my previous relationships, I found myself complaining about my boyfriend about everything to everyone.
It wasn’t like I wanted them to start hating him, but it’s what happened.
I really liked him, but my constant complaining started to really annoy everyone. Some advice – try to keep your minor complaints, like that morning breath or the television hogging, to yourself. Keeping a journal can help you vent things out without creating a hate club for your partner.
17Questioning The Relationship
When you’ve been hurt so many times, it’s hard to trust that something is the real deal. I’ve definitely been there a time or two before. Finding someone you’re happy with who feels the same way about you is so special and might have you thinking it’s too good to be true.
It’s okay to question the seriousness of your relationship, but don’t constantly do it. It probably gets exhausting trying to assure someone that you really do like them and want to be with them. If you find yourself questioning your relationship, just try to take the facts for what they are instead of searching for some hidden motive.
16Becoming A Snooper
Trust is everything in relationships. You are pretty much trusting another person to take your whole heart and not hurt you. If you start snooping, you might not have complete trust in the relationship. Maybe your partner started acting suspicious or has done something to hurt you before? Even so, it’s never okay to snoop. It’s best to talk over the situation with your partner.
There is nothing more embarrassing than getting caught red-handed with your partner’s cellphone in your hands mid-snooping.
Trying to dig your way out of that hole is pretty impossible and will most likely leave your partner no longer trusting you either.
15Revealing My Emotions Too Soon
When entering into a new relationship, all the feelings are exciting. You probably start picturing your whole future together, maybe you’ve started naming your future kids and planning your wedding. While this is a natural thing for most girls, you definitely do not want to express those emotions too soon.
A lot of people get freaked out when their partner starts moving faster than they are or want to. According to StyleCaster, “the early stages of a relationship usually seem so promising and even if you feel deeply comfortable, your emotions may be more advanced than theirs.” As a ground rule, try to only share as much as the other person shares.
14Not Taking Him Serious
Love and attention feel best when they are reciprocated. You need to feel like you are loved by your partner just as much as your partner needs to feel loved by you. It can be so easy to get lost in the chaos of your day to day life and forget to show some attention to your partner. However, this bad habit could start to negatively affect your relationship.
It’s important to figure out where your partner fits into your life goals.
If they don’t come anywhere near the top of your priorities, then you aren’t taking them or the relationship serious enough.
13Giving Up On Him
Everyone faces obstacles in life. Some people have a harder time than others in overcoming the challenges they’re put up against. One time, I had a boyfriend who was always losing his jobs after only a month of working at a place. Eventually, I realized I started giving up on him. Even though I cared about him a lot, I didn’t stop to think about what he was going through or how I could help him. It was easier to give up.
Your partner is going to need you the most during the hard times in life. They’ll be looking toward you for confidence, support, and help in getting through those difficult moments.
12Blowing Up His Phone
One text is great, two is okay, three is fine, but anything higher counts as blowing up his phone. In this day and age, we are so used to getting instant gratification. We expect to have instant responses when texting.
When we don’t get a reply right away, we suspect the worst; at least I do.
Texting is a great way to stay in contact throughout the day when you and your significant other are apart. However, there are going to be times when they can’t respond or forget to respond right away. Blowing up a phone with text messages all the time isn’t very cute.
11Trying To Change Him
You can try your hardest to make your partner fit some sort of mold you’ve dreamt up of the perfect person to be with, but in the end, they’ll probably start to resent you. People are who they are, and they very rarely ever willingly change for other people. When you start to fall for someone, hopefully, you’re falling for who they really are and not who you think they could one day become.
As people get older, they will start to go through a natural change, but anything that is forced on to them will not set well.
10Getting Jealous Over Nothing
It’s okay if your person talks to someone who isn’t you. This does not mean they like or want to be with that other person. This is a lesson I had to learn the hard way. I didn’t like that my boyfriend was friends with another girl. I knew they were just friends, but it didn’t sit right.
Soon, I started getting jealous of the cashiers my boyfriend smiled at or the mailman for making conversation with him.
Living with that little green monster on your back is an awful and toxic feeling. Jealousy doesn’t only hurt your relationship, it will also dig a hole into your own psyche.
Couples are going to disagree on things; this is not something to worry too much about. However, if you find you have started keeping track of who wins which arguments, then trouble will start brewing. Keeping score in a relationship is never healthy. It’s great to feel like you’re right, but if you start getting an ego about it, you’re going to probably hurt your partner.
The whole point in keeping a score is to prove you are better than an opponent. When the opponent is your significant other, though, winning could ultimately result in you losing the relationship.
8Faking Similar Interests
We do silly things when we really want someone to like us, like faking similar interests. I found myself in a situation where I told this boy I was a huge basketball fan to impress him. Well, he thought the perfect date was to take me to a game.
He quickly found out I was a big fibber and knew absolutely nothing about the sport.
Pretending you enjoy something to get someone to like you isn’t the best idea. You will usually always get caught up. It’s better to just be honest and try to bond over something else.
7Trying To Control Him
Do you like someone telling you what to do and when or how to do it? I know I don’t, and your partner probably doesn’t either. Most people don’t like being told what to do. The idea of being controlled by another person is associated with negative thoughts. However, when your heart is involved, it’s hard not to try to make another person do certain things so that the possibility of getting hurt doesn’t exist.
We want our significant others to behave and stay in line. That’s not always going to be the case, though, because as we now know, people make mistakes. It’s easier to just let things play out than to try to control every situation.
Keeping secrets is a big “no-no” in relationships. When you keep secrets, the lines of communication are obviously not open and relationships need open communication if they are going to work. Lifehack says, “[It’s] not that you have to tell the other person every minute detail about your life, but you should not intentionally keep something major from them.”
One key thing to keep in mind, if you feel guilty about not sharing something, then it is probably something you shouldn’t keep a secret.
If your partner finds out about whatever it is from someone else, it’ll be worse for you.
5Saying Mean Things I Didn’t Mean
When I get mad, I find that I start saying some really sarcastic things to my significant other. I don’t mean these things at all, but I am feeling some type of way and want to sting them a little. This is a huge mistake. Sometimes, we say things we don’t mean, and we won’t always be able to take them back.
Things said over text can also easily be misconstrued. Remember, sarcasm isn’t always easily played out over text messages. Make sure your partner understands if you meant something as a joke or to be sarcasm. Miscommunications always need to be cleared up a.s.a.p.
4Forgetting To Share Big News
It’s easy to forget to tell your partner about every little detail of your day, and it’s not always necessary to do so. However, if something huge happens for you, you should share the news with your partner.
If they find out about it somewhere else later on, they’ll probably feel like you didn’t care enough about them to let them in.
Even if there’s a lot going on in your life, you need to make time to let your significant other in on the special big and small moments. They are going to want to be there to celebrate the good and comfort you during the bad.
3Not Planning Quality Time
Making time for each other is one of the most important things couples need to do to keep the relationship on good terms. I know as well as most of you that life can get real busy and certain things are going to fall through the cracks. Don’t let your partner fall to the wastelands, though.
Her Campus suggests you can, “keep the spark alive by planning spontaneous day trips or surprise Chinese take out to show you still care.” Your relationship was fun in the beginning, right? Well, it should still be fun, and you need to make time for each other.
2Being Super Whiny
Have you ever heard of Whiny Wendy getting a date with Prince Charming? Because I haven’t. People don’t like when their children are constantly whining over things, so why would anyone want that in a romantic partner. I know I still whine about things sometimes, but I used to be a lot worse.
Over time, I came to the realization that things aren’t always going to go my way.
Once you get used to the idea that you can’t have your way with everything, it’ll become easier to accept those moments with a smile instead of that annoying whine us spoiled brats like to make.
1Letting My Family Get Too Involved
Most people grow up listening to our family’s advice on how to behave in the real world. Once we enter that real world, we still lean on our family’s opinion and want to make our parents proud. There’s a reason men are expected to ask the father’s permission to marry his daughter. However, there is such a thing as a family being too involved in their adult child’s life.
It’s okay to share details about your date with your mom or ask your father for advice on how to impress someone. But when your family starts interjecting their opinion when unsolicited, they might be too involved in your relationship.