All of us have had our share of bad friends through the years.
But have you really learnt your lesson, or do you still find yourself in a bad friendship even now?
One of the first things we have to understand about bad friends is that they suck the life out of you, slowly and surely.
Instead of trying to fix someone up all the time, learn to understand when to end a friendship, especially if it’s a bad one.
Life with bad friends
Even since we were little boys and girls, we’ve been made to believe that friendships last forever, that our friends are always going to be there for us.
We were our happiest when we were with friends.
Besides being our friends, they act as our support group, escort agents and shopping guides.
But friendship also comes with a “conditions apply” clause.
The give-and-take policy works here too, as with everything else in the world. The last time you and your friend went shopping and saw that exclusive Gucci bag, did she just step aside and let you have it or do you still have those tell-tale injury marks to prove your survival?
Even among guys, when you spot a hot coworker down the lane, does your friend walk beside you or does he speed up his pace to be the first to talk to her?
When we were kids, there was always the bully of a friend who wanted the best toys, and ousted other kids from the group if they refused his every beck and call. And now during our adult life too, things aren’t very different.
Understanding a bad friendship
Many of us find ourselves in the middle of a bad friendship. Every one of us has a bad friend in our own group of friends.
Now who exactly is a bad friend, you may ask. For starters, they are the ones who expect to be included in every single outing, the ones who take over the story you have been telling somebody else, and the ones that try to dominate you every second of your life. Initially, every bad friend presents themselves as a kind and caring person. But it’s all just an act, even if your friend doesn’t know it themselves. Bad friends are unintentional masters in the art of deception.
There’s a fine line between being there for a friend and never being away from friends. In the workplace, there is the bad friend who calls themselves your friend but stabs you in the back if the boss happens to appreciate your work over theirs.
At a party, a bad friend always tries to steal the thunder and if you happen to get more of the spotlight, you’re going to pay for it. Calculative and deceiving, your bad excuse of a friend will pretend to be your best friend forever until you deprive her of something that she believes is hers.
Sitcoms too have their own share of bad friends, whose sole ambition is to see their friend crash and burn.
So why are we still friends with a bad friend? The answer is totally up to you. As we all know, the very nature of friendship can be tricky. If you don’t have to pop an aspirin after every visit from your annoying friend, then you’re probably fine for now.
But if you feel like you’ve been hammered on the head every time you spend time with this bad friend of yours, then you really need to look deep into your friendship and give this bad relationship a thorough inspection.
When to end a friendship with a bad friend
#1 When you feel depressed
Do you conclude your visits feeling depressed, frustrated or angry? A good friend is supposed to make you feel happy and content. If your friend drags in an air of negativity, perhaps it’s time to end the friendship. Make up an excuse or get the hell out of their life.
#2 If your energy is being zapped
Some bad friends can make you feel dull and annoyed. It could be because they constantly demand your attention like a two year old or drone on only about their problems or achievements. You can do without these types of bad friends, you aren’t a baby-sitter anyway.
#3 Too much drama in their life
Do you feel drained and tired because of a friend’s constant drama? Any friend who behaves like a diva needs to get their head examined. We have television and other sources to serve us this purpose. We don’t need a friend like that around us.
#4 Your friend makes you feel bad
What use is a friend who offends you all the time? Does your friend put you down or makes you lose your confidence? We have our enemies to do that job for us.[Read: How to love yourself]
#5 A bad friend who cuts you down with criticism
Honesty is very much appreciated, but when friends pass sarcastic comments and take cheap digs at you, things can’t get any worse. Jealousy and competition is healthy, but not in excess.
#6 Your friend wants advice all the time
Your friend keeps droning on about their partner or their love life, or constantly asks for your help to meet new dating potentials. And even if you do offer your advice or help, they don’t take advantage of it. Instead, this friend only wants more help all the time.
#7 Behaves like a dictator
All of us have friends who are bossy in nature. But there should be a thin line between being assertive and just plain mean and bitchy. It may work in a teen movie, but in real life, there’s really no point in pampering a bad friend or becoming a part of their entourage.
#8 Green eye alarm
We are all possessive of our friends but when your pal starts to ask a lot of questions about your other friends, start following you everywhere or doesn’t like it when you meet new friends, it’s high time you end the friendship or make sure your friend is not turning into a green eyed monster.
#9 Gossip queen
If your friend is constantly making jibes at other friends, chances are, this bad friend may be talking bad about you behind your back too. Who needs a friend who will do more harm than good?
#10 Busy bee
Some friends never seem to find time for you. They always come up with lame excuses whenever you need them. But they expect you to always be there for them. And if you can’t give them your time, they make it a point to constantly remind you about how bad a friend you are.