It is difficult enough to break up with someone because you had enough of them. But, worse, is breaking up with someone you love. Loving someone can be the most enlightening and spectacular feeling when things go well. When they aren’t going so well, it exhausts you, sucks the life out of you, and leaves you wondering what this journey here on earth is all about.
The problems with love
Love is problematic on many various levels. First, there really is no concrete explanation about why or how we fall in love. A mystery to even those who spent decades studying it, a mix of chemistry and other ingredients, love isn’t something you control, it just happens.
That is the second problem! You can’t just stop loving someone because your head tells you to. It isn’t that you can’t cut them out of your life physically. Feelings of love aren’t something you just turn off or on.
If you are in a toxic relationship, been cheated on, or it just isn’t working, breaking up with someone you love can be the hardest thing you ever do. Take heart. You won’t feel the way you do forever. You simply can’t. I won’t promise that you won’t always love them in one way or another. But, in time, you will be able to think of them and not have a pang in your heart that feels like your heart is going to explode.
20 reasons you might have to consider breaking up with someone you love
There are times when you have to break up with someone you love to save yourself. If you are in a relationship where you love someone, but it is hurting you, then you save yourself. In the end, the only person you can save on this earth is you. As much as your heart wants what it wants, there are times when your head must win.
#1 You love but aren’t in love with someone. OMG, I know. I hate, hate, this phrase too. But, we all know what it means. There are times when you start out in a relationship, and the magic is there. Then the chemistry not only fades, it turns to black.
There has to be some physical attraction in your relationship, or you miss out on something that adds color to your life. Don’t stay with someone because you love them if you aren’t in love with them. It is better to hurt them now then later, or hurt yourself by denying the attraction to yourself for eternity.
#2 The relationship is toxic. There are all sorts of ways a relationship can be toxic to someone. If you are in a relationship where you are a worse person then you were before you knew them or suddenly don’t recognize yourself, then it is time to get out, even if you love them. Go and find yourself again.
#3 Once a cheat always a cheat. I am sorry to say this, but it is true. If they cheated on you once, they would do it again. If they didn’t respect you enough to be true, what makes you think when things get a little dull, they won’t be stepping out again… they will.
#4 You love them way more than they love you. There are times when you are way more invested in a relationship than the person you are with. Don’t ever stay in a relationship where you are under appreciated, or not given the type of unconditional and caring love you deserve. Even if leaving is one of the most difficult things you do.
#5 They are a narcissist. A narcissist love one person, themselves. Truly that is the definition. If you are in love with a narcissist and think you can change them, you can’t. It is a personality trait.
#6 You simply can’t seem to get along. If you are in a roller coaster relationship where you just seem to keep going round and round, it might be time to get off the un-fun ride. A relationship shouldn’t have more valleys than peaks.
If it sucks you dry and wastes your energy and time, it is time to unstrap yourself and move on.
#7 They are your twin flame, not your soul mate. What might have seemed like your soul mate may actually be your twin flame. You love your twin flame just like you do your soul mate, but they aren’t the one you are supposed to be with for life.
#8 They cause problems in your life. If they steal, lie, talk badly about you behind your back, belittle you, or are just not that good to you, you deserve better. They cause more problems in your life than their love is worth.
Sometimes you love people who do nothing but cause heartache. And, as hard as it is to break it off with them, letting them cause problems forever will be a long, hard road.
#9 You simply aren’t compatible and never will be. Opposites attract, but they don’t always make for good relationships. If you aren’t compatible, you are going to find very little to do together forever, even if you love them.
#10 You are in love, but it isn’t a deep and spiritual love. There are times when the chemistry is so, so there, but the intense feelings of love, commitment, and unconditional care aren’t. The s*x is awesome, but waking up one day to find that you are lonely in the relationship isn’t.