Back in the day, we didn’t even have cell phones, can you imagine? So, double texting wasn’t an issue. But times have obviously changed, and it’s a dilemma. Landlines were about as good as it got back in the day.
All the jargon like double text, ghosting, and breadcrumbing were just human behaviors that we didn’t feel the need to label or discuss. We now live in the modern dating era where you can’t send double texts to someone you like because you’ll be seen as eager or clingy.
Thankfully, there are rules you can follow to play it cool with double texting.
What is double texting?
Double texting is a concept in dating like any other. It’s the rule that you aren’t ever supposed to text someone unless they text you back equally. This means there shouldn’t be a whole lot of blue, blue, blue, blue followed by a short blip of white.
It can be seen as very clingy and attached, especially when you do it because the other person fails to reply. This is why there are rules you should follow. Double texting is a way that you only give as much in a conversation attention-wise as they do. It is a way to ensure that you aren’t coming off too overzealous or needy.
What are the signs of double texting?
One of the things you should watch out for is when you’re subtly checking to see if they’re still alive or have an intention to respond. You’ll see double texting when you’re trying to hide the fact that you want them to respond with urgency.
Why should you follow the rules of texting?
Unless you seriously want to turn off your crush or seem too eager, then we highly suggest following the rules of texting. You’ll scare them off from texting you ever again *who wants to text with someone who floods your inbox, after all?*
The importance of following through the rules of texting is so that there’s a mutual exchange of conversation and you don’t end up pushing them off. If you ignore these and just follow through with what you want, then your dating life will be affected.
So, what are the basic rules of double texting?
The rule goes that you text for text. You don’t send a whole bunch of shit and get nothing back. Unless your goal is to make them never text you again, then you should follow these basic rules. Trust us, you’ll thank us for these rules later on.
1. Never have your line of text more than theirs
If you have a paragraph and their answer is one word, then you are coming on way too strong. I know you’re really anticipating them to text back or at least speed up in their texting game, but you need to calm down a bit. Keep it simple and do your best to match the number of lines they send.
2. Never text back before you get an answer
I know it’s so difficult to text someone and then sit and wait. What a lot of people don’t tell you is that it’s necessary, so you don’t end up overwhelming them or scaring them away with your double texting. If you text them, you can’t text them again, and I mean absolutely can’t, until they return your text message, even if it’s just an emoji.
3. If you haven’t gotten an answer, then wait
It’s common to think that maybe they didn’t get your message, so you’ll send another text again. All good things have to be waited for. If you really are interested in this person, then you have to control yourself and wait until they give you an answer, any answer. We assure you, they did receive the message, and maybe they’re just busy or doing something else.
It would be best if you waited for their text instead of flooding their inbox with your text messages. We can convince ourselves of anything if we want to. If you think to yourself, “maybe the internet wasn’t working, and my iMessage didn’t go through, or that they just got busy, read your text, and forgot to answer… stop it.
4. Never text late at night or at an off-hour, or you could be waiting FOREVER to get a message back
If you text late at night when you’re not sure if they’ll receive it, you’re setting yourself up to fail. Texting them late at night will result in a disaster with regard to your text conversation.
If you want to increase the likelihood that they will text you back quickly, and you can have a conversation, try to pick a time of day where they won’t be busy or distracted. Especially if you want the conversation to be engaging and continuous, then don’t text them at an off-hour.
5. If you’re going to text, be straightforward and not wishy-washy if you’re waiting for an answer
If you want to get an answer, then don’t be vague. Sometimes when you text someone something completely meaningless and vague, they aren’t sure if they are supposed to answer it or if it’s just some information that you are sending.
You want to ensure that your texts are concise and direct to the point. Don’t confuse them with your texts. If you are going to send along something you saw that was funny, make sure to include a caption that indicates you are expecting some sort of answer like “what do you think?”
6. Keep the texting going by asking easy and fun questions instead of getting too serious
There’s no denying the fact that deep questions are fun in texts, especially as it helps you develop a connection with someone. Since a text conversation is how you get to know someone, stick to light and easy questions first. You can always ask them more profound questions when you go on a date but until then, stick to easy questions.
When you come on too strong or hit a nerve, the other person can simply put their phone down and walk away leaving you with a text hanging that doesn’t get answered. From there, you can’t text anymore, and it’s like being stuck in the mud.
7. How long have you been dating?
When it comes to the rules of double texting, you need to consider how long you’ve been dating. Obviously, you wouldn’t risk double texting someone you just started dating, as you’ll likely scare them off! However, there is one loophole in double texting you should consider, and that’s only if you’ve dated for a significant period.
If you’ve already been texting and dating for months and you have a real connection, then you won’t scare them off with double texting. It’s really all about how close your relationship has gotten.
The only reason why double texting is frowned upon is because it’s not something you should do when you just started dating someone. No matter how much you like them, resist the urge to do so.
8. What are they usually doing at the time you texted them?
Another thing you should take note of when you’re tempted to double text is the time you texted them. If you texted in the middle of the day, which is the timeframe people are often working or busy with something, then you can’t expect a response right away.
9. Do you feel a connection?
Let’s talk about feelings and gut instinct for this one. You might not realize this, but they might already be ghosting you. If you feel like there’s no real connection and that they aren’t as consistent in their texts anymore, they might be on the verge of ghosting you.
10. Don’t double text unless they do it too
Rules and standards aside, there are people who are okay with double texting, especially if they like the person. If this is the kind of person you’re texting, then you’re okay with double texting *as long as you don’t go overboard.*