Being comfortable in your own skin is about knowing who you are and being okay with it. A true sense of self and acceptance of who you are, it is the most freeing feeling in the world. But it isn’t always easy to be comfortable in your own skin.
We all have little insecurities that can make us feel out of place in new situations, but an overall feeling of you being okay with you is what it means to be comfortable with the person that you are.
Have you ever been around someone who feels uncomfortable in their skin? What does that mean? It means that they aren’t really sure of themselves. They typically don’t have an opinion about anything, they are jittery, can’t sit still, aren’t sure about what they are wearing, what they are saying, and are constantly looking for approval.
How to feel comfortable in your own skin
When I was in my teens, older people would tell me “when you hit your thirties things will change” – as if being older was the magic catalyst for self-acceptance. When I did hit my thirties, I still wasn’t very comfortable in my own skin. Sure, as the years have gone on I have learned to be more accepting of myself.
But, it is through life lessons, not age. So, I hope that these 20 mindsets can help you to find your inner peace long before you are my age.
Here’s how to be comfortable in your own skin.
#1 Stop caring so much about what other people think. If you want to be comfortable in your own skin, you have to stop worrying about what other people think. If you are trying too hard to get other people to like you or to accept you, then you aren’t worrying enough about how you feel about yourself.
#2 Realize that no one is perfect. Some of us have an inner drive to be perfect. We think that if we can just get everyone to like us and be perfect, then we will feel comfortable with who we are and then we can start to accept ourselves.
The thing is, that to be comfortable in your skin, it isn’t about trying to be perfect. It is about accepting the fact that you aren’t perfect, but neither is anyone else. Give yourself the same license to be less than perfect that you give everyone else in your life to be comfortable in your own skin.
#3 Understand that everyone has things about themselves that they don’t like. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has things about themselves that they don’t like. The hottest girl to the most gorgeous guy is hiding an insecurity about themselves that you don’t know about.
#4 Know the secret that we all have times when we re-think and question ourselves. Yep, everyone rethinks things in their lives and continually questions who and what they are. It is okay. It is totally human to wonder about who you really are, if you are a good person, and if you are doing the right thing.
We all do it. To find acceptance for yourself, you have to know that you are not the only one who struggles with themselves pretty frequently.
#5 Come to terms with the fact that we all have “crazy.” We all have a crazy side. Not the kind of wild and crazy, the sheer crazy. If you think that you are the only one keeping the crazy in, you are dead wrong. We all self-monitor our behaviors and fight our inner nutcase!
#6 Don’t let anyone tell you who or what you are. If you want to be comfortable in your own skin, you have to stop letting other people tell you who you are. If you have been labeled the fat girl, or butter face, or the skinny guy, stop internalizing it.
#7 Stop thinking that there is an ideal person. There is no such thing as the ideal person. We all make mistakes, we all have imperfections, we all do stupid things, and we all fuck up once in a while. Stop trying to be ideal and just be you.
Life is much happier when you stop trying to be what everyone else wants, and you be who you want.
#8 Do the right thing guided by your moral compass. If you do things in life that you feel alright with and always follow your moral compass, then you will find comfort in your own skin.
Often, we don’t feel comfortable because we aren’t true to what we think is right or we are letting someone else guide us. Always guide your speech and behavior by what you know in your heart is right, and you will find inner peace and acceptance.
#9 Forgive yourself for whatever you did in the past. To be comfortable in your own skin, sometimes you have to forgive yourself for things you have done in the past. Forgive yourself for not being as thin as you want to be, for losing a friend, or for whatever it is that you are holding onto.
#10 Let go of past hurt. Not being comfortable in your own skin can come from being teased when you were younger or having an overly critical parent. To feel comfortable with who you are, you have to let go of your past and stop dragging it into a bright future. You can’t change what happened before, but you can stop it from tainting your future.