Breaking up is always shitty. I used to just make my boyfriend hate me, I was too much of a pussy to do anything. Who wants to break up with someone? Unless that turns you on. But for the rest of us, knowing how to break up with someone who loves you is hard to do. You have to meet up with them, sit them down, talk about how you feel, and then watch them crumble in front of you.
Are you now free? Absolutely, and sure, it may sting, but it does feel like a weight has been lifted, right?
How to break up with someone who loves you
But when you dump someone who loves you, it’s not that easy. I mean, the actual breaking up may be easy. However, if they really love you, they may not be as easy to get rid of as you once thought.
You were their world! You were their life! What does that mean? Yes, you know what it means, the “I love you” texts, the 1am drunken phone calls—they start rolling in. But you avoid that from happening if you break up with them properly.
Because you’re going to have to do it eventually. I mean, they’re not going to do it for you.
#1 If you think it, it’s over. If you think about breaking up with them, well, that’s a pretty good sign you should follow through with your thoughts. I mean, whenever I thought about breaking up with my boyfriends, I eventually did. I mean, it may have taken me months or years to do so, but I did it eventually. Listen to your gut.
#2 Sit down with yourself and make sure it’s what you want. So, I know I just said that you should follow your gut, but I also understand that sometimes it’s not that easy to do. Regardless, you should sit down with yourself and think about what you really want and if you’re getting that from your relationship. If not, then you definitely know what you need to do.
#3 Know that you won’t be friends after. Yeah, don’t expect them to call you the next day, asking how work was. Actually, don’t expect anything for at least a year or so. You don’t really know your partner’s feelings towards you, so it may take longer for them to move on then you expected.
#4 It’ll never be the right time. Okay, there will be some moments which are better than others, but there’s always a holiday coming up so it doesn’t matter. You need to break up with them ASAP, not only so you can be single but also so that they can grieve and move on. If you keep holding back, you hurt both of you even more.
#5 Prepare yourself. If you live with your partner, you should already have preparations made for after you break up. You should know who you’re going to be living with for the time being, where your things will be stored, etc.
#6 Don’t surprise them. This isn’t a birthday party, it’s a breakup. There’s no need to pick them up from work and on the way home drop the “I think we should breakup” line. Be mature about this and consider of their feelings. Tell them that you need to talk. That’ll be a good hint that they should be expecting shitty news.
#7 Use the word “I.” This is about you. It’s about your feelings towards your partner and the relationship. So, use the word “I.” You need to tell them what isn’t working in the relationship for you and why you want to break up.
So, saying something like “I feel that we aren’t connected like we used to be” is a way to show them your feelings. By doing this, you’re not creating false emotions for them.
#8 Honesty is the best policy, but don’t be a dick. Be honest, people want to hear honesty, especially when it’s concerning a breakup.
That being said, there’s no need to tell your partner that you’re breaking up with them because they’re bad in bed. Rather, you’re breaking up with them because “you don’t feel the chemistry anymore.” Don’t degrade and strip them down of their self-worth. Be classy.
#9 No, don’t say the “let’s be friends” line. Oh god, please don’t. That’s like the worst thing you can hear from the person you love. It basically means, “I don’t see you as someone I want to spend my life with, but rather someone I can sit at Starbucks with once every couple months and catch up.” So, cringe worthy, I mean, come on. Now, if they later message you to go out for coffee or to be friends, that’s different.
#10 Don’t text them. Don’t like their status on Facebook, don’t like their pictures on Instagram, or text them when you’re bored. This isn’t some game, this is someone’s emotions. You need to leave them alone so they heal.