We’ve all fallen into the mind trap of being obsessed over someone. Everything about them captures you—the way their hair falls, their smile, the way they say your name. If you had it your way, you’d marry them and have their babies. They’re everything you could ever want and more. But this isn’t love. Sorry to break it to you, but it’s not. It’s lust that’s turned into an obsession. Here is how to stop obsessing over someone and get on with life.
How to stop obsessing over someone
This isn’t the movie Twilight. Edward is actually an obsessive creep. When you’re obsessed, you’re not really enamored by them. Rather, you’re engulfed by your perception of them. But everything about them isn’t what it seems, most of it is in your head.
Trust me, I was obsessed with this one guy. Eventually, when I took a step back, I realized I created this image of him in my mind. And believe me, most of it was in my head.
#1 Admit that you’re being obsessive. Listen, before you can get over them, you need to admit to yourself that you’re obsessed. Admit that this isn’t healthy behavior and that you need to make a change.
Once this happens, then you’ll be able to move on with your life. But until then, you stay trapped under your obsession with them.
#2 Get off their social media. Yeah, this is the worst part. Unfollow them on everything. I know it’s going to be hard, and you feel like you betray them. But you need this for your mental health. Remove them on social media so you won’t feel the need to cyberstalk them.
#3 Go out. When it’s the weekend, go out. Call your friends and go dancing or grab a drink. Don’t sit at home and become a hermit. Go out and continue living your life because they still live their life and you know it.
#4 Stop doing things that remind you of them. If they love swimming or running along the seawall, you doing the same isn’t going to help you. In fact, you probably just do that so you run into them. Come on, you can do better than that. If you do things because you know they’ll show up, stop. If you do things just to keep their memory alive, stop.
#5 Give yourself time to move on. This isn’t going to happen in a day. In fact, this is going to take months and months. So, give yourself some time and don’t be so hard on yourself if it takes you longer than what you expected. You actually have no idea how long it’ll take, everyone is different.
#6 Talk to your friends and family. Your friends and family probably know the situation very well, and they also have an outsider’s perspective which is really important. Their perspective helps you understand things about yourself and that person. Maybe you overlooked things that they saw. Plus, they’ll be able to comfort and support you during this period.
#7 Keep busy. Sitting at home, holding their framed picture in your hands day after day isn’t going to make this process go by any faster. Instead, keep yourself busy. Go to the movies, hang out with friends, or if you want to be alone, bake, watch a movie, or read a book. Don’t sit and dwell.
#8 Why are you obsessed? You need to sit down with yourself and think about why you are obsessed with them. What is it about you and what is it about that person that makes them so irresistible. Finding out some of the reasons for your obsession helps you work on yourself and become more aware of some of your triggers.
#9 Get away. Get out of town, just take the weekend and go camping with friends, or do a wild weekend in Vegas. Point is, distract yourself from this person. The best way to do that is to completely remove yourself from anything that reminds you of them.
#10 Remember the bad times. I think of this as a break-up which usually means you only think about the good times with that person and you miss them terribly. But you need to remember the bad times. The times they played mental games with you, didn’t want to commit to you, or degraded you. Those times are the times you need to remember because that’s when they showed their true colors.