Once we fall in love with someone, we experience that indescribable feeling of admiration and respect. It’s a great feeling, isn’t it? That there’s that special someone who’s all about you, just as you are heads over heels about them. The world seems to be spinning in the right direction, and everything around you becomes a fantasy.
This person knows all your tiny little secrets, calls you beautiful, and stares at you lovingly when you walk alongside each other, hand in hand. You think you aren’t lonely anymore. That you finally won’t have to be that sad, pathetic person alone at a New Year’s Eve Party. That you’ll have someone to lean onto when your school gets tough and work gets miserable. They never miss the chance to text you good morning and be the last one to end a conversation before you drift off to sleep.
But let’s get real for a minute here: This person probably won’t cure all the sad loneliness or fix all the problems in your life.
Because once you start fully depending on this person for emotional and moral support, they’re going to become distant. They’re most likely not going to be there for you when shit happens, for one reason or another.
And you’re going to start blaming yourself.
And the more you start blaming yourself and become hurt by it, it’s only going to distract you from actually realizing the true reasons behind your own problems and acting on them instead.
I know this all sounds a bit startling. I’m not promoting a type of relationship where everything is perfect—of course you’ll come to find differences and have disagreements when things progress further.
I guess what I’m saying is that you shouldn’t have to depend on someone—a romantic partner in particular— to find your way through life.
Why would you feel like another person has the capabilities to change your problems? In most situations, you will only have yourself to lean on and trust, since not everyone’s going to be there for you.
Someone isn’t willing to fix all the problems in your life. They are mainly going to be a part of your life to support you. They will support your decisions and support you for how well you handle yourself.