We were seeing one another for three months. You were 10 years my senior and recently divorced. We were having fun. And while I believed you when you said I was the only one you were seeing, I also knew that we weren’t headed anywhere serious. I didn’t want to, and honestly, I didn’t think you could handle that right now.
We went on weekly dates and you were nothing but a gentleman—the most gentlemanly man I had ever dated, but something was missing. I knew it when we met, and I knew two months after that when we had “the talk”. We agreed that we had too much on our respective plates to be anything more than NYC daters, with full-time, demanding jobs, and a lot of emotional baggage.
One month after the talk and two weeks into quarantine, I decided to end things. You were confused. Maybe I wasn’t clear during our talk. I didn’t see a future with you. When we got into quarantine in our separate apartments our misunderstandings began.
You needed to be outside every day. You went to your office the day after you told me you would stay inside. When I called you over video you answered reluctantly. You knew I wouldn’t like that you were out, in your office, in a busy part of the city, working primarily with tourists and travelers. This was right before things really took off here in NYC. I was annoyed, but still willing to see you. I thought you would slow down, but you didn’t. You continued to go out. We started to have disagreements daily about the severity of the virus and about how we should be behaving around it.
My desire to see you declined with each conversation we had. Then it hit me. We were done. I didn’t want it anymore. I saw no future from the start and I didn’t want to be cuddled up and making out with someone who couldn’t play his part and stay home when it wasn’t absolutely necessary to be outside.
I understand that we all deal with things differently. I was one of those people who went out and brought a pack of toilet paper. I get that some of us need to be out for fresh air daily and that some of us don’t mind spending two full days inside. We are all trying to wrap our heads around something new, something scary, something that we didn’t predict and are still trying to figure out. All I ask is that you try to accept that this is part of my reaction to all of that. That I simply made a choice for myself and I am sorry if it hurt you.
Please be safe. Take care of yourself and those around you.