When some guy doesn’t text us back or show up at the bar when he says he would, who do you call? No, not Ghostbusters. The person you call is going to be the friend who convinces you that it isn’t your fault. They won’t tell you that he’s not that into you, but they will tell you a good story about how he got held up at work or is playing hard to get.
Or, even how you are so awesome that he is intimidated by you. Although so much better to hear than the truth, if a guy is messing with you, you don’t need someone telling you a fairy tale. You need someone who is going to tell you the truth.
Even if the truth is that he’s not that into you, you need to hear it from a trusted companion. Here is the thing about the phrase, “he’s not that into you,” it hurts. Hell, it hurts like someone has hit you in the shins.
But whether he is or he isn’t, you need to hear it. Why? Well, because a little honesty is good for you. And, because whether he is into you or not, your behavior in response to his bad behavior should be similar.
20 things to do if he’s not that into you
The way to combat hurt is by playing it cool. If he doesn’t like you, then you don’t want to chase him around like an idiot. If he really does like you, then you need to teach him early on that he can’t just treat you any old way that he wants.
The only way to respond to someone who is acting like he’s not that into you is by acting as if the feeling is mutual.
#1 Cut contact. Often when someone is treating us badly, we overlook it and continue to allow the behavior. But instead of leaving communication open to him, just in case he decides to come around, cut all ties to him, with him, and about him. If he realizes that you aren’t sitting and waiting on him, he may recognize that you are more awesome than he is worthy of.
#2 Unfriend him and stop “following” him. The first step to deal with someone when he is acting like he’s not that into you is to stop following him and “following” him. That means you have to make sure he can’t see what you are doing via social media by kicking him off all of your social media accounts.
#3 Change your Facebook status. Right before you unfriend him, make sure to update your relationship status. Two seconds before you cut him from your account, make sure to let him know that you are moving on by changing your relationship status, so he sees you aren’t going to pine for him anymore.
#4 Block his number. If you simply can’t control yourself even when he treats you awfully, all it takes is a late-night booty call to have you running back. So then you need to help yourself by blocking his number.
#5 Start dating someone else. You owe him nothing. If he isn’t treating you the way that you need to be treated, then you need to move on and find someone who will. The best revenge is finding someone who knows how awesome you are.
You can’t convince someone you are worthwhile if you don’t feel it. Start over and find the love of your life who thinks you are as incredible as you can be.
#6 Don’t go to the same old places. I know, it is so tempting to accidentally run into him and show him all that he has been missing, but that is a HUGE mistake. If he took you for granted once, he would do it again.
#7 Stop talking about him. Ugh, if your friends have to hear about this guy one more time, you might look around the room to find them all trying to hang themselves. Stop mulling over what to do.
You know in your heart what is right, even if you don’t want to admit it. No matter how many times you play the scenario over in your mind, it isn’t going to change. Face it – he’s not that into you.
#8 Don’t take his calls. If you see his number come up and you haven’t taken the steps to block it, don’t answer it or text back. The only way that you can make yourself desirable is to show him that you have a life outside of him and don’t need him to make yourself happy.
#9 Take a different way home or the road less traveled. Okay, who among us hasn’t learned the traveling pattern of the guy we are in love with. If you are considering taking the old route to accidentally run into him, don’t. The only way to accept that he’s not that into you and move on is to stop trying to find ways to see him.
#10 Convince yourself it is over. You can tell yourself a really good story about anything if you want to. You can tell yourself that he is playing hard to get, or that he doesn’t want to come on too strong, or you can be realistic and tell yourself the truth.