Exes always have a special place in our hearts.
The break up may have been terrible, but every break up leaves a little crack that longs to be whole again.
This is especially true in a relationship that ends abruptly.
So have you ever felt like getting back with an ex?
Before you find out how to date an ex again, you need to ask yourself if you’re ready to date an ex.
In most cases, the intense affection and lost love may cloud your judgment and make you believe you’re ready to fall in love with an ex again.
But almost all the time, you’re making a mistake.
Read should you date an ex to find out if you’re truly ready.
Once you’re certain that you’re ready to take a plunge into the same waters again, this is what you need to do.
How to date an ex again
There are a few things you need to think about and understand before you start dating an ex.
You may be excited to get back with an ex again. But are you doing it the right way?
Losing a relationship has its gains
Losing your ex to someone else or to circumstances can help both of you really understand how much both of you mean to each other.
Sometimes, it takes losing something to understand its real value. You may not always be lucky enough to get it back, but if you can, then it’s worth giving it another shot. By dating an ex again and falling back in love, you can learn from your past errors and make sure the same mistakes never happen again. When two exes really love each other and truly understand where they went wrong the first time around, it can actually help build a stronger and happier foundation to a perfect relationship.
Why do you want to get back?
You may miss your ex a lot. But have you asked yourself why you genuinely want to get back with an ex? Missing an ex is never a good reason to get back with an ex. You have to have a great reason to get back with someone you walked away from.
If you’re having a hard time getting over an ex, don’t assume that’s reason enough to fall back into love. You may just end up going through the same hardships all over again, and finding yourself back at the start, with two heartbreaks from the same person. If you want to get back with someone, think about all the difficulties and happy times you’ve had and ask yourself if you really need to experience it all over again. Are the differences repairable, and are both of you compatible with each other, especially when you’re considering a long term relationship. [Read: How to fix a relationship]
The novelty of getting back with an ex
It’s an exciting thought, getting back with an ex always is. It feels like a vacation to a place you’ve been to before, and you know you’re going to love it!
A vacation is a short break, getting back with an ex isn’t a short fling. When you fall in love with someone new, both of you want to know about each other and take time to grow as a couple. But when two exes fall in love again, the only fresh excitement in the relationship is the joyous reunion of two old lovers. There’s really nothing new to experience, which means the novelty of a new relationship will wear off in a few weeks.
Can both of you still love each other even after the excitement turns into a seasoned relationship? If you’re convinced about it, perhaps a relationship with your ex is going to work out just fine. [Read: The secret law of attraction in love]
Speak to your ex
Speak to your ex and let them know what you have in mind. Don’t force your ex to get back into a relationship with you, it’ll never work.
Instead, explain why you think both of you should get back together. If you genuinely are convinced that your ex and you should be together, then all you need to do is explain why you think you’d be better off as a couple. Talk about the mistakes in the past and how you think both of you can overcome the differences all over again.
If your ex isn’t really interested in getting back with you, or if your ex is already in love with someone else, you may have a hard time changing their mind. If your ex is willing to take a chance on the relationship again, that’s good for you. If your ex doesn’t want anything to do with you, learn to deal with it and walk away from their life. You had your chance and you blew it. [Read: How to get over a broken heart]
How to date each other for the second time
If your ex is ready to give the relationship another shot at success, always take it slow. Plan a date in your favorite restaurant and start with a few happy conversations about what both of you have been up to since the break up. Skip details of other dates or other people. Talking about each other’s feelings is a great way to bring the romance back.
The temptation to have sex with an ex by the end of the first date may drive you into a horny frenzy, but unless your ex too has the same intentions, stay away from getting physically intimate. Having sex with an ex can feel so good, but you have to understand that it will definitely cloud your judgment and make you think you’ve fallen back in love. In reality, you may only be riding on a sexual high of making out with an ex. [Read: Sleeping with an ex]
Let each date help both of you evaluate the potential of the relationship. Are you feeling happy at the end of each date? Do you think dating your ex again was a good idea? Use the first few dates to really understand if this relationship is worth a second chance.
Don’t get back immediately
Unless the sparks are flying all over and passionate bursts of romance flood the room as soon as your eyes meet on the second first date, don’t get back into love immediately.
You may be tempted to start hugging and kissing each other, with spurts of I-love-you’s and I-miss-you’s, but hold that thought. It’s the first time both of you have been together since the break up. [Read: How to love again after a break up]
Temptation may be sure of what it wants, but love doesn’t. If you fall back immediately into love with each other, one or both of you may feel like you guys rushed into love too soon. Instead of dreaming of a possible romance, you and your partner may end up spending more time on wondering if it was a mistake to get back together so fast. If you’re going to start a new relationship with so many doubts and confusions, it’ll lead to a break up all over again because the focus was never on love but on whether things moved too fast to take you both back into love.
Is this what both of you want?
Don’t give any assurances of love just yet, not at least for the first few dates. Instead of trying to get your ex to fall in love with you, try to understand your own heart. Are you really ready to fall in love with this person again?
The first date may seem exciting because the relationship may feel perfect all over again, but what happens during the next few dates? Are you still happy while kissing each other goodbye, or would you prefer to end it because you see no future in this relationship?
Hoping for the best
The best way to take a relationship with an ex forward is by treating it just like you would treat a new relationship. Handle it gently and take every step slowly. And with every new date that passes by, ask yourself if you’re truly happy to be in love with the same person who broke your heart in the first place.
