The eternal pursuit of finding the one is a painful and confusing ride, especially if you feel lost along the way.
Many of us don’t really try to find the one.
You may just get into a relationship with the first person who fancies you.
And months or years later, you may find yourself disappointed with the experience of love or may give up on ever finding the one who can make you happy.
How to find the one
Finding the one who’s perfect for you is a game of chance.
The lucky ones get to kiss the right frog the very first time they date someone.
For a few others, there may be a series of frogs that have to be kissed.
If you really want to understand the secret behind knowing how to find the one, you need to look out and meet a lot of great people.
And somewhere along the way, you’d definitely meet someone who’ll take your breath away, sooner or later.
In the introduction on how to meet the one, you’ve read about the places to find the one, the kind of friends you need and the works. Here, we’ll get to the other things you need to know to find the one for you.
#6 Are you learning from your past dates?
Have you tried to get someone to go out with you or have you been to a few unsuccessful dates lately? What have you learnt from it? If you want to find the one who’s perfect for you, you need to try and figure out the type of person you’d want to be in a relationship with.
After a string of dates where you don’t really like anyone, you may be able to pinpoint a few of the characteristics of your pervious dates that you like and didn’t like.
At the same time, have you ever been turned down by someone after a date? Have you worked on making sure it doesn’t happen again?
Most people don’t like to correct themselves even if the same flaw keeps repeating itself in every date. While there may be an occasional picky annoying date, all of them can’t be wrong. Use your dating experience and try to find out where the date went wrong and what kind of a person you really want in your life.
#7 Don’t be desperate
You may have been looking for someone to date for a long time. But don’t let anyone else but you know that.
Sometimes, it’s easy to get excited and get pushy when you’re on a date after a while. Singles who are truly looking for love try to take things slow. But if you find that you’re throwing yourself at your date and are willing to do anything on the first date itself, there’s a risk of being seen as too desperate or easy to get.
At the same time, your date may think you’re only looking for a fling and not a serious relationship because you’re being so overenthusiastic. Ever found yourself getting dumped after a one night stand or a few days of sex? Chances are, you’ve been playing the game rather desperately.
#8 Don’t change yourself constantly just to fit in
Do you give yourself a total makeover all the time or try to change your behavior each time you have a new date or get into a new relationship? Always remember that you don’t have to change yourself just so your date can like you.
Your new look or behavior may work for a few weeks, but that faà§ade of a personality that you’re using is not really you. If you want a perfect partner, you don’t have to change yourself just to make someone like you more. If you have to do that, then the relationship is not really meant for you. You need a lover who likes you for the person that you are.
If you want to know how to meet the one, learn to be yourself. You can’t constantly change yourself just to please a date. By doing that, you’ll lose your own individuality and your happiness too. [Read: How to be happy in life]
#9 Have a positive attitude
It’s easy to lose your confidence and hope when you find that none of your recent dates are going in the direction that you want. But have a little faith in the game of love. Don’t be so frustrated with yourself that it shows.
Falling in love is important, but you can lead a happy and single life too. Stop worrying about finding love so desperately that your failures start to reveal itself in the form of negativity. Be happy in your life and have fun, even if you’re still stuck a single. As long as you’re meeting new people and trying to find opportunities to date, it will work in your favor soon enough. [Read: I want to be single again!]
But until then, have fun on every date and be positive in your life. For all you know, your infectious positivity and enthusiasm could bring the one you’re looking for closer to you. On the other hand, even if you do meet the one who can keep you happy forever, your negativity may cloud you from realizing it or even making a good impression.
#10 Try to be a better person
Get this clear. Don’t try to change, but try to be a better YOU. When you’re standing in line at a coffee shop or dining at a restaurant, have you ever seen someone of the same sex who looks really confident and charming? You can be that person too.
Work on the little things that hold you back and reveal a radiant YOU to the world. Be confident, cheerful and positive. It’ll make you look good and impress the opposite sex and draw them to you.