A relationship constantly changes and evolves all the time.
It starts with infatuation and several stages later, moves towards true love.[Read: The 9 stages of love every relationship goes through]
And during the first stage of love, the infatuation stage, the relationship is all rosy and perfect.
You can’t stop thinking of your boyfriend when he isn’t around.
And your boyfriend can’t take his eyes off you when you’re around.
There are no cracks in love, and the world is a poetic place to live in!
But as the rose tinted glasses of infatuation start to fade away, both of you start to see each other’s truer selves.
And this is where understanding, compromise and communication start to play the big part.
And if you have a boyfriend with a wandering eye, this is probably when you’d start to see the signs too![Read: 16 real reasons why your boyfriend’s so mean and annoying]
Dealing with a boyfriend’s wandering eye
When a man starts to get past the infatuation stage in love, that’s when you’d start to see his real side, flaws and all. And sometimes, this transition may reveal his wandering eye too! [Read: How men fall in love – The 7 stages of love for men]
So what defines a man as a creepy ogler or a guy with a wandering eye?
Guys stare at girls discreetly all the time, and that’s acceptable, just as girls take sneaky glances at cute guys. But when a guy blatantly ogles at girls even when his own girl is with him, well, that definitely makes him the infamous guy with the wandering eye *who deserves a black eye!*
And one thing you need to remember about your boyfriend’s wandering eye is that the more you put up with it, the more he’ll take you for granted and continue to stare outrageously at other girls even when you’re around!
Why do his eyes wander so much?
In one simple line, your boyfriend’s eyes wander because he doesn’t respect you.
If your man truly respects you and values you, he’d avoid ogling at other women when you’re around because he’d care about your feelings and he’d be too scared to lose you. So if your boyfriend’s eyes wander often, it only means he doesn’t value you or he thinks you’ll never leave him no matter how he is or how he behaves around you. [Read: 23 must-know relationship tips for women that can change your love life forever!]
A boyfriend with a wandering eye will make you feel ugly
Boyfriends and husbands with wandering eyes who constantly get distracted each time a pretty girl walks by will kill your ego and your own self esteem. It’s the fastest way to make you feel ugly and helpless.
But you need to remember that a man with a wandering eye will ogle at other women constantly even if he’s dating the most physically attractive woman on earth. There’s just something wrong in their head or someone’s not taught them their manners.
You’re not a jealous freak!
If you dislike the fact that your boyfriend or husband gets distracted each time a pair of legs or boobs walk past him, don’t hate yourself. You are not jealous! [Read: The reason why men love breasts like crazy!]
It’s completely natural to feel angry or upset when your man loses his eyes in the middle of a conversation with you and starts staring at another woman.
But then again, how clingy are you really?
It’s never a girl’s fault if her boyfriend has an annoying wandering eye. But just to make sure you understand yourself clearly too, you need to ask yourself just how secure or insecure you are in the relationship.
Do you think you’re overreacting? Or does your man actually ogle at other women all the time? Sometimes, you may have a streak of clinginess in you and not even know it. [Read: 13 obvious clingy girlfriend signs and how to avoid being one]
A man’s will to control himself
When a guy glances at a girl discreetly, it’s gentlemanly and even flattering for the girl. But there are a few guys who stare so hard it’s almost scary and creepy.
If a man can’t control his eyes enough to avoid ogling at women, it could mean two things. He’s been raised badly, or worse, he’s unable to control his own mind!
There’s no excuse for a guy to blatantly stare at other girls when he’s with his own girlfriend. Even if a really attractive girl or a girl wearing very revealing clothes was sitting at the next table, the most any boyfriend would do is take a quick glance and look away immediately. He’d take a peek at the girl because he’s naturally inquisitive. And he’d look away from that girl in a flash because he respects you!
And if you do catch your man taking a quick look at the girl in the next table, he may smile sheepishly and avoid looking in that direction completely because he’s realized he just got caught glancing at someone else when you’re with him. And that’s what any man does when he’s with the woman he claims to be in love with. [Read: The 10 types of creepy guys you need to avoid talking to]
Look at your relationship from the outside
Don’t be a doormat or a silly accommodating girlfriend who puts up with a man’s wandering eye. Ogling boyfriends won’t suddenly grow a conscience one morning and realize just how inconsiderate and rude they’ve been.
Are you dating a guy who constantly stares at other girls when both of you are on a date together? Just so you can see the situation clearly, look at yourself from outside the picture.
If you were sitting at a coffee shop, and a guy who’s on a date with a girl was staring at you or trying to catch your attention constantly, how would you feel? Creeped out? Would you feel sorry for the girl? Would you wonder why the girl is even dating a prick like that? What would you wish the girl would do, break up with the guy?
Sometimes, you may be clouded by the emotions you feel for your boyfriend. Think clearly, and ask yourself if your boyfriend’s behavior is even remotely acceptable. [Read: The dating girl code all girls definitely need to know!]
Nip his wandering eyes in the bud
The best time to catch a man’s wandering eyes is at the beginning of a relationship when the guy is just getting past the infatuation stage in love.
On a date together, if the guy stares at another girl now and then, that’s acceptable. But if he often stares at girls or seems unfocused on you because he’s so busy burning his imprint on her bra with his super laser vision, this guy definitely needs an ultimatum! [Read: Ultimatums in a relationship and how to make them work in your favor!]
If his behavior bothers you, speak to him about it. And tell him that you can’t stay in a relationship where you don’t feel respected in a social setting.
Help him with his social skills
All guys have the will power to control their wandering eyes, just as long as they choose to *unless the guy is suffering from an awkward health condition*. But perhaps, in the case of your boyfriend, no one’s ever told him or helped him see the bad side of ogling at other random girls when he’s already with a girl. Maybe he’s just completely unaware of social skills or basic etiquette.
How to stop your boyfriend’s eyes from wandering
The first time you point out his wandering eyes to him, don’t yell at him or force him to screw his eye balls inwards. Sit down with him and explain exactly how you feel when he stares at other girls when he’s with you. Don’t get angry, don’t raise your voice, but be firm and clear about your feelings.
A guy would always understand ideas better if it can be compared to a real world scenario. So calmly explain how other guys stare at girls if he can’t understand the concept of taking sneaky quick glances. And tell him how he needs to behave when he’s around you if he wants the relationship to work out. Sometimes, just talking about it can help a guy become a better boyfriend.
Give him a few chances *if you love him*
Don’t be harsh on him if you catch him sneaking a glance at another girl for a fraction of a second occasionally. It’s natural to be curious now and then when someone walks into a room, but if he stares at other girls like he’s stripping them naked in his mind even when as you’re trying to get his attention, you definitely need to give him a nudge or kick his shin from under the table!
But unfortunately though, talking to him or giving him the silent treatment may not always work. Sometimes, that may only make him stare at other women with more enthusiasm. [Read: 7 circumstances when your boyfriend’s interested in you for all the wrong reasons]
Turn the tables on him
If you can’t make him change for the better, then get even with him. Ogle at other men when he’s around. But don’t let him know you’re doing this only to get back at him. Make it seem genuine if you really want him to understand how you feel when he stares at other women. [Read: A few sneaky tricks to stop your man from ogling at other women!]
If you want to make it appear more natural, invite your boyfriend over when you’re sitting with a couple of your girlfriends at a restaurant and talk about all the cute guys in the room. Sometimes, getting a taste of his own medicine may be the best remedy in a situation like this.
People-watch together to him feel less restricted
Sometimes, the fact that he’s dating you exclusively may make him a serial ogler. A guy may feel like he’s too restricted in the relationship because he can’t stare at other girls. The easiest way to deal with this is by encouraging him to casually people-watch with you.
While hanging out with him, point out different guys and girls walking past the both of you and gossip about them or their attire. When there are no restrictions on staring at other girls, the novelty of staring at them may wear off eventually too! [Read: 20 things that turn a guy on sexually when he sees a girl]
Is it too late already?
Some guys are creeps.
Sometimes, no matter what you say or how hard you try to convince your boyfriend that staring at other girls is disrespectful, hurts you, shatters your self esteem, and makes you feel unattractive, he may not change. If you’re in this situation, it’s probably too late to do anything about it.
If your man gets distracted from you every time an attractive woman or two passes by him, it’s a clear sign that he doesn’t respect you or value you. And when you reach this crossroad, you need to decide what matters more to you, your own happiness or your ogling boyfriend who’s damaging your life with each new date. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend]
You can give him a final ultimatum and tell him that you can’t put up with this behavior anymore. But it may be too little too late.
You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change for you. And if he thinks you’re not reason enough for him to change this behavior, there’s nothing you can do but leave him. And even if he promises to change for you after you’ve given him so many chances already, can he really change?
That’s a chance you definitely don’t need to take, not after you’ve given him so many chances already!
So how are you dealing with your boyfriend’s wandering eyes? Remember, soft words and ultimatums definitely help. But beyond a point, it all boils down to how much your man values and respects you, and how much you value and respect yourself!