Do you feel like love is slipping out of your relationship slowly and you can’t do a thing to stop it?
Love that is neglected can take on a shade of hate and anger, and eventually take a turn for the worse.
It can be stopped though, but when you reach a stage where you question your own love, you do need a lot of work and effort to bring the romance back in the air.
When both of you are not in love anymore, a relationship that can easily succeed starts to become a burden of frustrations and pain.
Ever find yourself questions your own relationship and whether you’re doing the right thing by staying a relationship that gives you no joy?
Find out how to know if you are not in love anymore, and make up your mind on the next step towards happiness.
How to know if you are not in love
While the emotion of falling in love is intense and blissful, the emotions of falling out of love can be just as intense.
When you’re falling out of love, the signs may not be clear at the beginning.
But as time passes by, you’d start to see a few of these signs crop up now and then, for no reason at all. How to know if you are not in love? Well, use these signs.
Your partner irritates you
Your partner may be watching the telly, preparing dinner, or just having a conversation on the phone. It doesn’t matter what they do, but every now and then, you’d just have a sudden urge to scrunch up your face in annoyance or grumble to yourself. You may have no idea why, but the very sight of your partner may start to irritate you.
You’re not excited anymore
At the beginning of a relationship, your eyes light up with happiness when you see your partner or have a fun conversation with them. Do you feel restless or bored when you spend time with your partner, or do you look for ways to stay back at work or stay out more often with your own friends? You’d know you’re not in love anymore if your partner just doesn’t excite you anymore.
You’re only interested in yourself
One of the signs of a happy relationship is the unconditional love that both lovers have for each other. As the relationship starts to lose its romance, both partners start to become selfish, be it about sharing food, dressing up well or helping each other grow. When you start to fall out of love, you wouldn’t mind letting your partner suffer as long as it can be advantageous to you.
You’re constantly looking out
You may have a nice time with your partner, and everything may seem perfectly fine on the outside. But in your own mind, are you constantly appreciating beauty and hoping for a chance encounter to cheat on your partner? You may not be trolling websites for extramarital affairs, but you try to meet other prospective dates all the time with the hope of cheating on your partner.
When you consciously try to cheat on your partner all the time, you’re not in love. You just like the stability of a backup relationship.
You know you deserve better
If you’re wondering how to know if you are not in love, this is one of the subtle signs that can spell doom in the months or years to come. You may like your partner and have a great time with them, but deep within, do you truly believe you deserve better? You may think you’re cleverer, better looking or just too good to be true, but if you’re in a relationship knowing full well that you’d leave your partner the minute someone better walks into your life, really, is that even love?
No together time
One of the main aspects that hold a relationship together is communication and togetherness. Sometimes, as love starts to fade away, both of you may start to spend less time with each other. And eventually, before you know it, weekends and holidays may pass without either of you taking an initiative to spend time with each other.
You may love hanging out with your own friends and having a nice time. But if either of you can’t spend a few hours with each other and don’t really care about communication and togetherness, there’s no hope for the relationship to survive unless both of you take the initiative to come closer.
You’re jealous of your partner
Are you secretly jealous of your partner? A teensy bit of envy is certainly acceptable. After all, if you are going out with an attractive and charming person, you are going to be awed by them now and then. But when the awe and envy turns to green eyed jealousy, the relationship starts to get shaky.
But if you do take that a step further and try to secretly jeopardize their success, it’s better to end the relationship rather than face the bitter consequences.
Do you spend more of your man’s money when you’re angry with him? Do you purposely keep your woman occupied with other things just so she can screw up her presentation the next day? Well, these little acts could seem like a childish way to get back at a partner, but it’s actually a deeper psychological agenda to put down a partner, which in turn can bring both of you down.
You have no respect for your partner
When you lose respect for your partner, you wouldn’t think twice about yelling at them or even scorning them for a small mistake, even if there are others around. When you think your partner’s a loser, a worthless slob or a despicable human, you definitely can’t be in love with them. You’re probably putting up with them only because you don’t want a drastic change in your lifestyle.
You can’t really be in love with someone you don’t respect. It’s as simple as that.
Other signs – Are you out of love?
Here are a few signs that may confuse you into wondering if you are not in love anymore. If you’re experiencing any of these signs in your relationship, it definitely doesn’t mean you aren’t in love. But it does mean you and your partner need to work on your relationship.
# You argue a lot
Arguments are a sign of misunderstandings and not loss of love. In fact, as long as the arguments are constructive, it can also help better the relationship. But there are always better ways to understand each other. For starters, it’s called communication.
# Don’t have sex anymore
You could jump and bounce off beds like two horny bunnies at the start of the relationship. But as the relationship matures, there is a possibility of losing the sexual enthusiasm. Bring back the desire in bed by recharging those energizer bunnies with sex appeal and whatever else that can turn either of you on.
# Not indulging in PDA
When you’re young in love, both of you may be holding hands all the time and pecking each other’s cheeks like birds and bird seeds. If you had a hard time getting to a room in time at the beginning of your relationship and find that both of you have now lost the urge to get cuddly all the time, it doesn’t mean you don’t love each other. It just means that your love has matured beyond infatuation into something calmer.
# Spending more time with others when you go out
When you both go out, does your partner spend less time talking with you and spends more time with other people? While this may seem like a sign of falling out of love, your partner may just be excited to socialize with others. After all, both of you do spend a lot of time together and your partner may just want to interact with a few other people whenever they get the chance.
But if this does bother you, speak to your lover about it and work something that’ll be productive. Flirting with a few new friends isn’t worth more than the happiness of a great relationship.