Every relationship can have its ups and downs without everything turning to turmoil. But when the downs outnumber the ups, then it may be time to start thinking about ending your relationship. Now, I never want to be one to tell someone when their relationship is over and they need to break up, but there are signs that everyone should be aware of.
Any relationship can go through a tough time and come out better than ever. But occasionally, people may think they’re in a “rut,” only to be in that rut for a seemingly never-ending amount of time. So, how can you tell when this rut is something more than just a downfall in the relationship?
I have been in relationships that I thought I was stuck in, just because I missed these very important signs. I thought that things would get better and everything would be fine because I was “in love” with them. But the truth is, sometimes love isn’t enough in a relationship. [Read: How to walk away from a relationship that’s bad for you]
12 signs it’s finally time to end your relationship
I’ve been there a number of times; the place where you think your relationship will improve only to spend months on end repeating that to yourself. Luckily for you, we’ve compiled a list of all the signs indicating it may be time to kick them to the curb and get on with your life.
#1 Your arguments are excessively frequent. It’s completely natural for people to get into some arguments here and there, but when you’re fighting every day of the week with little relief, then there are some bigger issues at play. Your arguments should never become so excessive that you’re struggling to get through the day with your partner. This can lead to increased stress and, ultimately, have a detrimental effect on your health.
#2 You argue about pointless things. Am I the only one who would end up picking a fight over almost nothing just because whatever they did struck a nerve? It didn’t matter what they did. They could skip doing the dishes, wear something weird, leave their shoes on in my apartment, or do pretty much anything that should be harmless. It was like I wanted to fight just so I could justify the fact that I wasn’t really feeling it anymore. Little did I know that this was a telltale sign. [Read: 12 undeniable signs you’ll break up within a few months]
#3 You’re annoyed with your partner more than you’re not. Does the sound of them chewing too loudly just irk you to the point that you have to leave the room stomping your feet and scoffing at them? Yes? Then it might be a sign that it’s time to end your relationship.
You should want to be around your partner if you really care about them, not running the other way every time they enter a room because the little things they do are really annoying. If you find yourself annoyed, then there’s probably a deeper concern there.
#4 Things you used to find attractive are irritating. This is probably my go-to when deciding if my relationship is at its end or not. When you start finding the things they do as irritating, when you used to think they were super attractive or cute, then it’s time to think about whether or not it’s time to end your relationship.
The things they do and have always done is just who they are. If you are finding yourself getting frustrated at the things you once loved about them, then it’s time to wake up and realize what’s going on. You’re just not into them anymore like you used to be. [Read: 10 signs you’re losing interest in your relationship]
#5 You stop caring about what they think about you. I don’t care if you’ve been together for two weeks or two decades, you should always care about what your partner thinks about you. They are supposed to be the person you look to for advice, counseling, and support. If you just don’t care about any of that anymore, then what are you even doing?
#6 You’re not afraid of losing them. If there’s one thing that really shows it’s time to end the relationship, it’s if you don’t care if it ends. If you really love someone like you may think you do, then you will always want them in your life. The thought of losing them should scare you. If it doesn’t, then maybe it’s time to call it quits. [Read: 12 signs you’re starting to fall out of love and can’t stop yourself]
#7 Respect has seemingly been lost. Whether you have lost respect for them, or if you feel like they have lost respect for you, it’s a sign that things are headed south really quickly. How can you have a healthy relationship with someone who you don’t respect or they don’t respect you? The answer is simple: you can’t.
#8 You feel like a burden to them. If it feels like you’re pulling teeth when you ask them to visit your family, friends, or accompany you to an important event, then something is clearly wrong. Your partner should want to be with you and support you in all of those situations.
This can also go for them, too. If you are feeling frustrated and reluctant when they want you to go with them to important things in their lives, then something is off, and you should really do some self-reflecting when it comes to how you really feel about your partner. [Read: 10 clear and sneaky signs you’re about to get dumped]
#9 You stop talking about the future. It’s healthy for a relationship to grow and for you to make plans for the future. Now, you don’t necessarily have to talk about kids or marriage or anything like that. But if you stop making plans for even a month or two months down the road, then it’s a sign that you both don’t see yourselves with each other at that point – especially when all you used to do was talk about the future.
#10 You feel insecure in your relationship. Do you feel like your significant other is going to bolt at the first chance they get? Well, maybe they are feeling that way. If you feel like you are losing your partner little by little and you’re uncertain of their feelings for you, then it’s definitely a sign that it’s time to end your relationship.
Only feeling secure and happy when your partner is in the same room as you is a surefire sign that things are not right, and you’re headed down an unhealthy road in your relationship. [Read: 20 sure signs to tell your relationship is oh-so-over]
#11 You feel the need to “watch” yourself. Are you constantly feeling like you’re walking on eggshells around your special someone? Feeling this way is really unhealthy. I was in a relationship where I felt like I had to watch what I said, ate, and even how I did certain things, or they would freak out and we would get into a fight.
This is certainly not a healthy relationship. You should be able to be yourself around your significant other, and they should love you for that. Hiding who you are for their sake is a sign that it’s finally time to end that relationship and move on. [Read: 12 signs you’re walking on egg shells in your love life]
#12 You have simply lost feelings. Many people feel that if they’ve been with someone for a long time, they should “try to make it work.” But what is there to make work when you know deep down that you no longer feel the same way about them?
Don’t put their happiness above your own. As much as it might hurt them and even you, if you have lost feelings for your partner and no longer have the desires you once did, then it’s time to end things for both of your sakes. [Read: How to break up with someone without hurting them]
Ending a relationship can be one of the biggest decisions you can make in your life. If you’re feeling reluctant and unsure if you’re making the right choice by moving on, just use these 12 signs to determine if it’s finally time to end your relationship.