There are so many factors that have to work together just to make any form of romantic commitment last. For instance, if you ask anyone who has been in a long distance relationship, they’ll tell you of an even more complicated and sometimes frustrating reality, one that can only be understood by those who have been there.
It’s true that not being with the person you love can change a relationship and although this commitment may seem more challenging, some facts and statistics about LDRs will tell us that most couples in this set up are as happy as those who are physically together – but only if they follow the right steps and make the right decisions.
Let’s take a look at some of the best tips and effective ways on how to make a long distance relationship work.
1. Be emotionally prepared for what’s ahead.
Especially if you’ve been together for a long time and you’ve never been in an LDR. It’s going to be so difficult at first but you have to try. The best way to prepare yourself for this life-changing stage in your relationship is to openly acknowledge your emotions and accept the reality that you’re going to be in soon.
ALSO READ: 8 Signs that You’re Ready for a Long Distance Relationship
2. Willingly embrace the possible changes.
Again, accepting and embracing the changes in your day to day life is a good start. For instance, there may be days when you can’t call each other or even exchange text messages because of a conflict in your schedules or because you’re in different time zones. It’s a very common scenario and most of the time, couples don’t pass this first stage and often end up in an early breakup.
If you want a different result, never let these changes make you feel anxious or paranoid. Trust each other and try to reach a compromise. Have an open mind and learn to understand and be patient about the things that you can’t control.
3. Give them time to adjust and adapt.
It’s not easy to move to another place and start over, especially if the person you love is miles away from you. You’ll need time to get used to the place, the people, the food and even the weather.
Just simply imagine your partner in this situation and you’ll understand why you have to be patient if they can’t be their usually sweet and thoughtful self when they’re with you. Maybe they’re still processing and adjusting to the many changes in their new life.
4. Keep yourself busy and productive.
You have to have your own goals, too. Engaging in activities and even just concentrating on your own day to day affairs can help you forget the thoughts of longing. Keep yourself busy and make sure that you’re not alone especially during the first few weeks of an LDR.
This is one of the most effective ways to keep yourself from overthinking and focusing too much on someone who is miles away from you – because just like your partner, you have your own life to live.
5. Don’t forget to set virtual/online dates.
Remember the most special days of your relationship and don’t let distance hinder you from celebrating your love for each other. With the technology and variety of online communication platforms available today, video calls and virtual dates are just a click away.
There are a lot of ways to express your love online. All you have to do is be creative.
6. Make an effort and try to be more creative.
Again, be creative and never ever use the same lines every day. Don’t let your conversations turn boring by repeating sentences as if they’re marketing spiels. Express yourself through words and phrases that truly show how you feel. Don’t use “I Love You” and “I Miss You” as fillers. Only say them when you truly mean it.
7. Never make them feel alone and unwanted.
Especially after a fight or an argument. Never say something that will hurt them, something that will make them feel that you don’t care about how they feel. It’s natural to be angry or to feel hurt but choose your words well.
Don’t let them feel more alone and don’t take them for granted just because you disagreed on something. It’s hard enough to be in an LDR; don’t waste your time and energy fighting over petty and trivial things.
8. Focus on your own personal and professional goals.
Your world should not revolve around your relationship. In other words, you also have to focus on the other aspects of your life: work, school, family, friends, or even your hobbies. Don’t let the longing to be with the love of your life stop you from having a great and productive day.
Don’t just idly wait; do something for yourself and for your own future.
9. Don’t let doubts ruin what you have.
Trust your partner especially if you know deep inside that you’re just being paranoid. Stop making up stories in your head and listen to the real story. You have all the right to ask questions but give your significant other the chance to explain their side.
ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Overcome Insecurities in a Relationship
10. Don’t do something that you might regret in the end.
Don’t ruin something beautiful just because you’re looking for a quick remedy to longing. Believe me, it won’t be worth it and you’ll end up losing the most important person in your life.
Don’t be selfish and think about your partner and how it would make them feel. Don’t break their heart because you know that they don’t deserve it.
11. Plan something that you both can look forward to.
It’s important that you set a definite date on when you’re going to see each other again. It gives both of you a sense of assurance and can provide a source of excitement.
Why don’t you plan a trip together? Maybe book a hotel and just spend time alone binge-watching your favorite movies? How about a romantic date under the moon? The list goes on and all you have to do is to start.
12. Finally, make them feel that you’re in this together.
Lastly, make sure that you’re doing your part to make this work. How? Make your partner feel that they are not alone in this journey and that you’re both in this together, through thick and thin.
You have to face every challenge as a couple and never blame each other if things don’t go according to plan. Hold each other’s hands especially when the going gets tough.
Hopefully, these pieces of advice can help you discover your inner strength to survive one of the most challenging stage of being in love. Good luck!