Are you falling for someone but you are afraid s/he is the wrong person? You have probably been hurt a lot in the past and you want to keep yourself from further heartbreaks. Now, is there any way you can stop yourself from falling in-loving fast?
True love takes time to grow. Yes, it is unwise to be in love with someone in a short time especially if you do not know the person at all. Or what if s/he is not ready to catch you? You might be ending up with a bad fall after all.
To keep your heart from being broken fast, then do not rush into love. Here’s how to stop yourself from falling in love too fast:
1. Get to know the person better first.
Prevent yourself from liking someone you barely know. It is okay to have a crush on someone because of his/her looks or talent, but quickly considering the person as a special someone based on that reason alone is dangerous. Take time to know the person beyond hi-level.
2. Avoid constant communication while in the GTKY process.
While in the getting-to-know-you process, avoid having a regular and constant communication with the person like daily texting and chatting. That would become a habit that could make you more attached to him/her. Sometimes, attachment to someone could be mistaken to be love.
3. Get feedback from your family and friends.
If that person is showing interest in you, then it is advisable that you introduce him/her to your friends—or family, if already possible. Since you are on the stage where your brain is starting to be clouded by emotions, your judgment could be bias and unreasonable. For this reason, it is wise asking help from the people around you in assessing the person and the situation.
4. Ask people who know him/her personally.
Another helpful tip to find out whether you can trust the person or not, and if s/he is the kind you are looking for, is by investigating around—not obviously, of course. When talking to people who are connected to him/her, like friends or colleagues, try casually inserting him/her into the conversation. However, please do not be obvious that you are interested to know about this person—be creative!
5. Go out with the person on a group date.
You may go out with the person alone, but not all the time. If you are in a dating level, try bringing friends along, or encourage him/her to go in a group date. This would help you observe him/her in a more natural setting since you could see him/her interact with other people.
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6. Filter what you see and hear from him/her.
Please do not believe or absorb all the sweet words s/he tells you, especially if you do not know each other well yet. Maybe the person is naturally sweet and s/he could be saying the same things to others s/he considers friends. Or what if s/he is only flirting with you?
7. Do not trust easily.
As what I mentioned above, what if the person is only flirting with you? Do not fall for someone you cannot trust because you are really putting yourself at risk. You can only trust somebody you know well so, again, take time to know the person.
8. Do not feed your emotion.
You fall in-love faster if you keep convincing yourself that it is the right thing. Feeding your emotion involves anything that makes you like him/her more, such as constantly thinking about the person, reminiscing your sweet moments together repetitively, and meditating his/her sweet words. Discipline your mind to filter your thoughts.
9. Avoid thinking about the person all the time.
Talking about disciplining your thoughts, this step is necessary if you want to slow down your heart from falling for a person. Whenever you are tempted to think about him/her, divert your attention to something else immediately.
10. Stop yourself from stalking him/her on social media.
If you are so hooked into finding out the person’s life details, whereabouts, and daily activities that you could not resist visiting his/her social media accounts, then it could be an obsession—not love. The more exposed you are to anything connected to the person, the faster you will be attached to him/her.
ALSO READ: Love vs. Infatuation: 12 Differences You Must Know
11. Avoid spending too much time with him/her.
Being with the person regularly, especially alone, would make your attachment grow. Therefore, limit the time you spend with him/her if you do not want your feelings to grow fast. To avoid this, spend more time with your family and friends or give more time to your work instead.
12. Do not initiate any sweet talk.
Do not encourage early sweet talks between you. Avoid using endearments or pet names. You should also avoid topics that are related to love like heartbreaks and ideal partners.
13. Do not show a hint that you are attracted.
Once the person finds out that you are attracted to him/her, s/he might take advantage of it. It would encourage him/her more to give you a hint of interest as well. Instead of naturally growing your friendship, both of you would be tempted to be prematurely affectionate towards each other.
14. Do not assume anything unless expressed.
Unless the person directly expresses that s/he is interested in you, do not assume anything special between you. You could be thinking that you share a mutual understanding so you allow yourself to fall deeply in love, only to find out at the end that s/he only values you as a friend.
15. Open your heart to others.
If you do not want your feelings for a person to progress rapidly, especially if s/he has not expressed any interest, then it would be safe to consider other ‘candidates’. Do not focus on the person alone, but instead, allow yourself to meet others and make new friends. At least, if the person disappears, you would not be in too much pain.
Love takes time
True love does not happen overnight. The safest way into it is through friendship. For this reason, do not rush love and guard your heart against falling so fast.