When it comes to a healthy relationship, there has to be trust. You can’t live your life with someone when you don’t trust what they’re doing. But believe me, I’ve been there before. I used to say all the time, “I don’t trust my boyfriend.”
Trust has to exist between two people in order to live happily. When one of you is always freaking out and panicking over what the other is doing, it’s bad for both parties involved. You need trust. It’s essential for building a healthy relationship and growing together as a pair.
The building blocks of a healthy relationship
Nobody wants to be in a shitty relationship. We all want happiness. And that means we all want to be in a healthy relationship that only brings value to our lives. In order to do that, we need to focus on the building blocks.
I don’t trust my boyfriend – What to do and why you need to fix it
Once trust is lost, it’s very hard to get back. The best thing you can do in order to maintain that trust is to prevent losing it in the first place. And that means both people have to be willing to commit and be faithful in all ways.
If you’ve recently had an issue in your relationship that caused you to lose trust, you’ll need to repair that problem ASAP. If you want to start trusting your boyfriend again, these are all the reasons you need to fix it and the ways you can do just that.
Why you need to rebuild the trust
#1 When you can’t trust him, you can’t ever fully be yourself. There’s always a part of you holding back. When someone loses your trust, you can’t let go and be yourself because you’ve been hurt. And that’s understandable. But that’s why you have to fix the trust issues. When you can’t be yourself, you just can’t be happy.
#2 You’ll never be happy when he isn’t right next to you. This is a huge reason to fix your trust with your boyfriend. Because whenever he’s not around, you’ll be worried. You’ll be anxious and upset because you don’t trust what he’s doing. That’s no way to live.
#3 You won’t be able to live your life. You’ll have a hard time going out and being with friends while your boyfriend isn’t with you. When you don’t trust him, you’ll be more concerned with what he’s doing and not so much what you’re doing.
#4 You’ll lose out on fun while worrying. When you can’t trust your boyfriend and you’re at a party or supposed to be having fun when he’s not there, it won’t be. You’ll be thinking about what he’s doing. This distraction will make you lose out on all the fun you could be having.
#5 The stress will be unhealthy. Let’s be real, when you don’t trust someone, you stress about them. That stress can affect many things in your life. You’ll lose sleep, you could gain weight, and your job or schooling could suffer.
How to trust your boyfriend again
#1 Get to the bottom of the issue. You need to figure out what the hell is going on. Why don’t you trust him? If there was something he did, you need to get to the bottom of it. When you keep saying, “I don’t trust my boyfriend,” he had to have done something. Figure it out and solve it through communication.
#2 Ask yourself if their wrongdoing is forgivable. If they did do something wrong, you have to do some thinking on your own. Is what they did something you can forgive? Can you really overcome it in your relationship? Be honest with yourself and it will help you either trust him again or help you see that you can’t be with him.
#3 Get the opinions of others. When it comes to those we love, we don’t always think clearly. That’s why, in order to trust your boyfriend again, you should get the opinions of your friends. Open up to them and tell them how you feel. They can help you see the real issues and if it’s something you can actually fix.
#4 Have a real discussion about your trust issues. Talk to your partner. I know it can be difficult to open up and be vulnerable, but you have to. Tell him you don’t trust him. Let him know what’s going on in your head so he can help fix things.
#5 See if he’s willing to help. This is a major thing you have to figure out if you want to fix your trust issues. Trust is a two-way street. It takes both people working together in order to have it. So if he’s not willing to help you trust him, it’ll never work. And honestly? If he’s not willing to fix those things, he’s not worth it.
#6 Go to couples counseling. Many people shy away from couples counseling because they feel ashamed. But you don’t have to feel that way. If having someone else know your situation and helping the two of you communicate will make you trust him again, it’s worth it. If you value your relationship and only want things to get better, then consider this option.
#7 Take it day by day. By this, I mean that you can’t expect it to be solved and fixed overnight. Take things day by day and realize that it’s a long process. The thing about trust is that it can be lost in an instant, but it takes time to bring back.
#8 Communicate even more. I won’t lie, the process of building trust is a long one. But it can be made shorter and easier if you just communicate regularly. Tell him if you’re feeling like you can’t trust him in a moment. Make sure he knows when you feel uncomfortable with something he’s doing.
#9 Set new expectations and stick with them. Make your standards clear. If your boyfriend messed up and you need something from him in order to trust him again, tell him. You have to set new expectations and stick to them in order to trust him again.
#10 Learn when to let go. Sometimes trust can’t be rebuilt. No matter how hard you try, it can be lost forever. That’s why you have to learn when enough is enough. If you’ve given it your all and they have too but you can’t fix things, it’s time to let go.