I feel like the first time learning of your existence was merely yesterday, but instead, it was seven years ago. We did not talk much until the last year of high school, even though we were enrolled in the same theatre classes for four years. You were way out of my league. You were way too popular for me, and I thought we could never be close friends. To be honest, I have no idea how we became so close.
You always had a sense of humor that brought laughter to everyone around you. That time when we had to be scene partners was no different. We were supposed to be making small talk with each other, but I could only giggle at your nonsense and try not to draw too much attention to us. Maybe that opened up a door to our friendship.
The intimacy between us was one of the best things I experienced in high school.
During a lunch break, I was hanging out with my friends and you burst into the room with your buddies like you always do. It was a typical school day. Out of nowhere, you decided to kiss me on the head. We were not significantly close then, nor did anyone comment on your strange move.
To me, my world just exploded. My heart melted. Your affectionate, gentle kiss was no more than five seconds, but whenever I revisit the memory, I like to think time stopped; the world was revolving around us. Nothing mattered at that moment anymore except for us two. In a movie, the camera would’ve spun around and an elegant love song would’ve accompanied the scene. The kiss would’ve lasted long enough for a hopeless romantic to actually believe what was happening, to enjoy it, and to capture the cherished moment forever.
Remember that time you wrapped your arms around me to slowly sway to the music? Let me remind you what the magic looked like. It was during an evening show. We were on the side, watching a musical number. A couple of actors were on the stage singing, the lights were dimmed, and a power ballad from the ‘80s was playing. The disco ball spinning overhead was like a million little fairies dancing around, expressing my indescribable feelings. I wish someone had taken a video for me, because it honestly felt like a movie or my wildest dream.
When I had my study breaks, I was always backstage because it was my second home. You would come in all the time with all your excuses, even when you had classes. Those times pulled us closer. The room was filled with endless inside jokes, crazy stories, and laughter. You even informed me of all kinds of drama happening between our castmates that I, as an introvert, would not otherwise know. Not that the gossip is any of my concern, but you were ever so inclusive, and I cannot thank you enough, because you made me feel like a part of the family.
To you, I know I’m more of a sister than a potential romantic partner, but there is always a part of me that wishes for more, for the latter.
When graduation came around, we said we would hang out often. I wholeheartedly believed you, but at the same time, I knew deep down that it was probably a harmless yet broken promise.
We still run into each other from time to time, mostly at our former high school’s theatre shows, and we always get a few minutes to catch up. It is more than I expected because I thought we would not see each other again. I wish we had more time to catch up, but we were rarely alone. Our short time together, without fail, brings me joy and reminds me of how special you are. It seems like we could never grow apart from one another, as we can always pick up from right where we left off.
I miss everything about you. I miss your warm embrace, your amusing goofiness, but most of all, your genuine heart. Our bond made me feel like nothing was impossible. I was not just living in a fairy tale, I was also the luckiest person to have you by my side.
Maybe staying friends is the best for our relationship; it could remain pure and beautiful. Or maybe someday you will realize all you want is right in front of you, since what we have is extraordinary and worth preserving.