I think that God really took his time in making you. I think that’s why he made you wait for a significant period of timing before letting our paths cross. You’re one of the nice ones, you know? I know it must feel weird hearing that, since you never, ever took it as a compliment. Remember before you always blamed yourself for being the “nice guy” because of the notion that “nice guys finish last.” And while it may be true to an extent, that wasn’t the case for us. Your kindness and genuine heart were the best things about you, and that’s why I fell in love with you just like that. It wasn’t just because we shared the same values and faith (that was a bonus, but it was more than that).
You knew exactly how to love me without being selfish in the matter. Time mattered to you before it meant something to me. Back then, we had different views on what effort meant, thus our multiple arguments on that topic before. You valued time more than anything in the world, and I valued something different, something more concrete. But you were right, you know? Time is the most beautiful thing you can give someone, especially since time is such a fragile concept. At any given time, we never really know when it’s the last time we get to spend it with someone. Your kindness and pure heart is one of the best things about you. I love how selfless you are, especially when it comes to me. Even if our relationship is gradually changing, you’re still consistent in showing me how much you adore me and love me and how much you can see my worth. I just want to take this moment to tell you how much I love you, and to thank you for consistently being nice to me and showing respect to me above all else. In a world where respecting people is rare, thank you for never failing to see my worth and for never, ever taking me for granted.
One year together and you never fail to make me feel loved every day. I love you for being so patient and kind with me. I love you for knowing when to reassure me and knowing when to keep me grounded in certain things. I love your mind so much. I love how you think, even in the times where your darkness overwhelms you. I love you in both darkness and light. In moments of sadness, brokenness, grief, desperation and hopelessness, I am with you constantly, and that’s a promise.
I love mundane moments with you. Moments that are so ordinary, and what makes them extraordinary is you. Moments where we lie on the bed at noon and we’re laughing because of something. Moments where I make you coffee in the morning and you give me a kiss as you respond, “You didn’t have to, but thank you.” Moments where you unconsciously hug my waist and put your arms around me in the middle of the night. Moments where you annoy the living hell out of me and I want to squeeze the life out of you, but I just roll my eyes and laugh.
And I love extraordinary moments with you, too. Moments that consist of museum dates and taking endless photos that are to be treasured forever. Moments where you take me out for coffee and we can talk about God and laugh like the night is infinite. Moments where we discuss our endless questions on how the world works, why it is the way it is, and questions regarding our faith as we try to understand it together. Moments where I can act insane around my best friend in this life, which is you. Moments where we go to Church and feel as intimate as ever as we worship such a great God together. Moments where we go on adventures, where we check off beach dates from our bucket list. The moment when you first said you loved me in person and when you had the courage to let down your guard and just kiss me. Moments where there is vulnerability and transparency, and moments where there’s bravery, honesty, laughter, and friendship.
But I also value moments that aren’t so good. Moments where I can feel your sadness and brokenness. Moments where I can see your empty gazes as your mind wanders completely to a faraway place, somewhere far from the present. Moments where your laughter feels forced and tense. Moments where your eyes don’t shine with happiness and pure bliss. Moments where I feel your broken heart and I just wish I could love the sadness out of you, and it breaks my heart that I can’t. As much as I love you, I can’t—only God has that power. And so I do the purest thing I can do in moments where I have no control, which is talk to God and pray for you.
And then, this is where I value moments where you come back. I see miracles and breakthroughs come to life. I see moments where you gradually heal from everything that broke you. Moments where you’re slowly filling up with life, spark, and hope again. Moments where you’re gradually becoming yourself again. Moments where sadness and grief are replaced by hope and courage. Moments where I can see the light continue to shine out of you, despite everything that has happened to you. Moments where you try to become the best version of yourself, even when moving forward hurts. Moments where you want so badly to shut off the pain, but you choose to be brave and be transparent instead.
And lastly, moments where you still continue to choose to run to me with every bit and every inch of those moments. No matter how painful, broken, or devastated you feel, moments are still filled with you running to me with everything you’ve got and knowing that you are always safe with me. I will always be your home, now and forever. I love you so much, and nothing’s ever going to change that. I’ll always be the one consistent thing in your life, even when things are constantly changing. My love for you will always be constant, except that it’s growing even more fonder as we grow together in love and in life.