We can’t all spend our days feeling loved by everyone and everything we come into contact with. In fact, it’s pretty normal to not feel loved every now and then. But if you’re frequently thinking or even saying, “I just want to be loved,” then there may be more to your situation than meets the eye.
Why is feeling loved so great?
You may think there isn’t anything THAT great about being loved. After all, it’s just another emotion for you to live without, right? Wrong. Feeling appreciated in this way is so amazing because it’s such a powerful feeling. It drives us, as humans, to exist.
The possible reasons behind “I just want to be loved”, and what to do about them
When someone feels this way, it often has much more to do with the person than those around them. The chances of you actually having zero love in your life is very slim. Everyone wants to be loved. But some people want it for different reasons.
1. You’re depressed
Depression is a very serious problem that many, many people suffer with daily. It’s not just sadness. It’s a feeling of hopelessness, despair, and loneliness you just can’t seem to shake.
2. Your expectations are too high
Some people don’t realize they’re expecting far too much out of life and the feeling of being adored. You may be setting your expectations way too high. It leaves you feeling like you’re unloved even when you’re not.
Put yourself into a realistic mindset when it comes to feeling loved. You can’t expect that the feeling of someone else loving you is going to suddenly solve all your problems. If you have a habit of saying, “I just want to be loved,” all the time, this may be your problem. In that case, why not work on the relationship you have with yourself? Being happy in your own skin and having self-love can be just as fulfilling.
3. You just went through a breakup
It’s normal to feel a little emotionally bruised when coming out of a relationship. You may even find you feel like you’ll never find love again, especially if it was a bad breakup.
If you’ve just been through a situation where one person stopped feeling the same way about you, you may feel as though everyone in your life stopped loving you. It makes you desperate enough to say something like, “I just want to be loved.” This isn’t the truth.
4. You’re lonely
If you’re single and have been for a while now, you may start thinking that you’re unlovable. Perhaps you haven’t felt passionate love in a long time, so it’s easier to start saying this over and over again.
Maybe you’re lonely or live alone and spend most of your time away from other people. When you don’t spend time with those that actually do love you, it’s easier to forget that they actually do. The realistic truth is that you have more affection around you than you realize. You simply need to make an effort to spend time with those close to you and perhaps push out of your comfort zone a little. Get out there and meet new people. Who knows how you might meet.
5. Your friends are busy with their lives
Everyone has a life and some of your friends may be busier with theirs than you are with yours. This leaves you feeling left out, lonely, and you may even miss having them around.
You feel as though your friends are so invested in their own lives that they don’t have time for you. Understand that just because someone is busy doesn’t mean they don’t love and care about you anymore. Have regular catch ups, perhaps once every couple of weeks, and make sure that neither of you cancels. That way, you can stay in touch and continue to build your bond.
6. You’ve watched far too many passionate movies and TV shows
This is one of the main reasons you may be feeling so desperate to be loved. If you’re lonely, bored, and have been watching a LOT of passionate movies that grip your chest in desperation, then that’s why you feel unloved.
7. You don’t have anyone that’s really close to you
If you don’t have strong friendships in your life, you could be feeling unloved. There’s a certain feeling of being really connected with someone in a close manner, even if it’s just friendship, that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
If you don’t feel this, it could be because you haven’t found that friend you can open up to. You may not have anyone to be intimate with in an emotional way. That could make you feel like you’re missing something in your life. Try opening up to those in your life a little more and see if it’s just the case that you need to work on the bond you have. Also, start saying ‘yes’ to invitations and get out there a little more – there are countless potential friends waiting to be met.
8. You’re spending too much time with unloving people
Are you surrounding yourself with people that care about you and are actually vocal about that, or do you spend your time with those that aren’t very kind and loving toward you?
The people you spend the majority of your time with have the ability to shape the way you feel about yourself. If you’re spending time with the wrong people you feel less than loved. It keeps you craving that love. Perhaps it’s time to do a life inventory. Which friends and associates serve you well versus the ones who don’t? Spend more time with the positives one and less with the negative. Then, see how you feel after a while.
9. You’re jealous of someone else’s love
If all you do is pay attention to the way someone else is receiving love, it’s going to make you think you don’t have “proper” love. You may be obsessed with a certain couple on social media, and it blinds you to the love you actually receive. This makes you feel like you just want to be loved, even though you are.
Recognize the fact that you never truly know what is going on behind closed doors. Social media is very good at making you believe one thing, when the truth is usually quite different. Nobody’s relationship is perfect and everyone feels unloved sometimes. Turn your attention on yourself and stop comparing yourself to other people. That’s not where you’ll find happiness or love.
10. You don’t love yourself
This is the most common reason of all. If you don’t have love for yourself, you’re going to feel like you’re missing something huge in your life. This has you trying to fill that void with love from other people. Leaving you always saying, “I just want to be loved.” First, love yourself.