“I Tried Everything And I’m Still Not In A Relationship” 20 Tips To Stop Living That Single Life
When you’re a single girl, it doesn’t matter how much you enjoy your life or how happy you are — you really want to meet someone. It’s cool to admit that, even if you want to put on a smiley face and make everyone that you know think that this is truly no big deal and things are fine the way that they are.
Your friends and co-workers are all in serious relationships, you just got an invitation to your BFF from high school’s wedding, and you’re sitting there, wondering if there’s a magical spell that you can say out loud and find a boyfriend tomorrow. People who have been in long-term things don’t really get why someone as great as you is still on your own. No matter how many times you explain that dating is tough and you haven’t met the right guy yet, they’re still shaking their heads with confusion. And you feel even worse about being alone.
The good news is that you really can stop being single and find the right guy. There are just a few things that you can do and a few mindsets to adopt. Read on to find out 20 tips to stop living the single life!
20Believe That You’re Definitely Going To Meet Someone
There are a lot of times in life when mindset is everything. It’s like when you’re starting a healthy eating plan or about to workout: if you tell yourself that you hate this and it’s going to suck, then it most likely will. Saying that it’s going to be just fine is the key here.
If you tell yourself that you’re definitely going to meet someone and stay optimistic about that, it might not be easy, especially when you go to a party and see your best friends with their significant others, but you’ll be doing the right thing for yourself.
19Never Say No To A Date
It’s not realistic to never go on dates and expect to meet someone, or to say no when someone asks you out or you chat with someone on a dating app and they want to meet up. Netflix can’t be your boyfriend (no matter how much you love it and no matter how attached you are to it… just like everyone else is).
To stop being single, you have to do one simple thing; go on dates. Period. Sure, you don’t love going on first dates because no one does and it’s not like going on dates with your actual boyfriend (aka fun and romantic). But you have to go on first dates if you want to stop being single. Think of it as the first step toward falling for someone.
18Stop Being Afraid Of Rejection
Do you hate the idea of asking your crush out and getting rejected? Do you worry about saying to someone that you went on a first date with that you want to see them for a second date?
Of course you don’t want to get rejected… because absolutely no one does.
That doesn’t mean that you should allow yourself to really feel this fear. Instead, say to yourself that you can do this and you can ask guys out and you have a right to find love and happiness. It’s a mindset change and will serve you better.
17Go On More Dates, Period
Have you heard that dating is “a numbers game”? You most likely have, right? This is a common saying in the dating world and whether you believe it or not, it does kind of make sense.
Yeah, of course there are girls who go on one date in high school and fall in love and that’s it for them. They end up marrying their high school sweetheart and they didn’t have to think twice about it. But that’s not going to happen to everyone (or most people, really).
You have to go on more dates if you want to meet someone and if you want to stop being single. You’ll get used to it and won’t mind after a while and if you remember why you’re going on dates, you’ll want to.
16Remember “You Never Know” And All Those Other Dating And Love Cliches
Whether you’re a hopeless romantic or chill girl, someone who dreams of the day that they get proposed to or someone who wants to be more go with the flow, it’s tough not to buy into the whole “finding your soulmate and best friend and love of your life” thing. You see this messaging everywhere, in books and movies, and your friends talk about this kind of stuff, too.
You’ve most likely heard all the cliches about being on your own. You’ve been told that “you never know” when you could meet your dream guy or who he could be.
It’s possible that these cliches can be helpful to you. They can help you stay positive and believe in finding love and keep going with this whole dating thing.
15Be Your Best, Most Sparkly Self On First Dates
First dates are for one thing: showing off how awesome you are.
Okay, that might sound kind of conceited, and you don’t want to be like that, but… you do have to believe that you would be a cool person to date. When you don’t want to be single anymore and really want to meet the right person, it’s a good idea to be your best, most sparkly self on first dates.
Show these guys who you are and that you would be a pretty incredible addition to their life. In no time, you really will meet someone who agrees with that.
14Always Go To Things That You’re Invited To
It’s hard to go to parties and events alone. It just is. Sure, you’re the cool single girl that everyone knows and loves, and sure, you’re confident and doing the best that you can every day. It’s still tough to go.
But you really have to if you want to stop being single. It’s the only way to ensure that you’re meeting new people on a regular basis (or maybe running into the same people who you can ask out and fall madly in love with… that totally works, too and you probably wouldn’t complain if that is the way that things worked out).
13Think Positively
How do you really feel about being single and looking for someone to spend your days with? You might not be smiling about it, which is completely fair, and yet this is really the only way to approach this situation.
When you feel like things aren’t going well in your love life, it’s easy to feel miserable and defeated, but that won’t make you want to keep trying. And you need to keep trying. Stay positive and think positive and things will go your way (if not right now then in a little while).
12Set-Ups Aren’t The Worst Idea Ever
Set-ups get a bad rap. People complain about them and say that your friends or family don’t know what you’re actually looking for in a person so you never meet anyone that you like or get along with. What if set-ups work, though?
You most likely know some couples who met this way and were introduced by other people. When finding someone is really important to you and when you want to stop living the single life, you really do have to be open to different ways of meeting people. Ask if anyone can set you up and the results might be amazing.
11There’s No Harm In Trying Every Dating App
Dating apps are just a thing at this point. They are absolutely how a lot of couples meet and then fall crazy in love.
Maybe you’re open to them and have used them all, or maybe you don’t really like them and aren’t sure. Either way, it might be a good idea to give them a try (as in every app that you can find and download). Again, the popular saying is true, along with being cliche — you never know. What if love is available to you on one of these apps? Won’t you be so thrilled that you gave it a shot?
10Be Open To Meeting A Guy IRL, Too
At the same time, there’s no reason to limit your search for love to dating apps and online dating. You probably know lots of couples who met IRL. Maybe they met at work, at a party, through mutual friends, through family friends — the list goes on and on. Why can’t you meet someone the old-fashioned way, too?!
Stay open to meeting guys IRL and this just might be the way that your own love story begins. And you’ll definitely love having a cool, interesting story to tell, since people love hearing about couples who met in real life.
9Ask A Guy Out From Your Past
There just might be a guy who you used to date, were friends with back in high school or university, or know from a previous job who could be your perfect love interest. Again, you never know.
Why not ask a guy out from your past? It just might be your ticket to saying “see you later” to being single and to starting your new life as an in love girl.
This might be the reason that you haven’t met anyone yet (or at least anyone that you’re really interested in being in a relationship with). You could have been waiting for this guy all along. Cool, huh?
8Focus On Being A Cool, Interesting Girl
You really do have to be a cool, interesting person when you want to find love. You have to be the kind of person that someone else could see themselves with. Of course, you already are that person — it’s just a matter of keeping your head held high and still doing the things that you love to do.
When you love your life and are happy, you become attractive in someone else’s eyes and since you want to be with someone who is like that, it makes a lot of sense, right?
7It’s Okay To Admit When You Don’t Like Someone
Just because you don’t want to be single anymore and would love to be in a relationship doesn’t mean that you have to say yes to the next guy who asks you on a date. Or who would really like to keep spending time with you and maybe make you his girlfriend.
You have to make sure that you really, really like a guy when you want to be in a relationship with him. It’s okay to be honest when you’re not interested in dating someone (polite, too, though). It might hurt a bit but the guy will be glad that you didn’t string him along which is definitely the worst thing that you could do.
6Be Honest When You Do Like Someone
If you don’t tell someone that you like them, they won’t know. Maybe they think that you might because you laugh at all their jokes (even the ones that need some work) or because you’re always smiling and blushing when you’re around them. Yeah, those tend to be tell-tale signs.
It’s best to be honest about your feelings and remember that when you do this, you’re one step closer to no longer being single. When someone returns your feelings, that’s exactly how you guys decide that you’re going to do this whole relationship thing. You don’t want to miss out on that chance because you didn’t speak up.
5Follow Your Heart (No Matter How Corny It Sounds)
When you know, you know, as people say. When you know that this is the guy that makes you smile and makes you happy, that he’s going to continue to make you happy, that he makes every day exciting no matter what’s going on, that’s all the information that you need.
It doesn’t matter if he’s not in his dream job yet. It doesn’t matter if your best friend thinks he talks too much or whatever her opinion might be. All that counts is how you feel, and it’s best to follow your heart (corniness and all).
4Don’t Worry If A Date Isn’t 100 Percent Perfect
Expecting perfect dates is definitely a good way to remain single, and if that’s not what you want, then it’s a good idea to remember that no date can really be perfect.
So many things happen: you’re more tired than you wanted to be, you were five minutes late when you hate being a tiny bit late, you snorted when you laughed even though you should of course love yourself, quirks and all. It’s best to just have fun and get to know this new guy. That’s the only way to be on the path toward a relationship.
3Cut A Good Guy Some Slack And Don’t Expect Flawless Romance
There’s a fine line between dealbreakers (not wanting to date a jerk, thinking that it makes sense for a potential boyfriend to, you know, have a job and a bank account and things like that) and worrying about silly stuff (like a guy being late for a date because the subway broke down and it really wasn’t his fault).
When you want to stop being single, it’s a good idea to cut a good guy some slack. Don’t expect him to be totally flawless or for your early days of dating to be a picture of flawless romance. People make mistakes and you’ll have better luck if you remember that. It’s more fun to enjoy the excitement of being with someone new than waiting for perfection, don’t you think?
2If You Meet A Guy At A Party/Elsewhere, Ask Him Out
If you ask someone how they got together with their boyfriend, they honestly might say, “I asked him out.” A lot of girls ask out guys and wind up with a boyfriend and things work out.
When you’ve made a genuine connection with someone — say you met a cool guy at a friend’s party and had a great chat — it makes sense to keep the good vibes going and ask him out. You know when someone likes you and when you get along, so you’ll be able to tell if you should ask him on a date or not. There’s a very good chance that he will say yes and that he’d love to.
1Don’t Put Up Unnecessary Roadblocks
Sometimes it can be nerve-racking to start dating someone and have to deal with everything that encompasses. Your schedule changes, you want to see them all the time, you have to work in your friends and family and hobbies, and it’s a lot to deal with, even though of course it’s the best time ever.
It can be easier than you realize to put up unnecessary roadblocks, like telling your new guy that you can’t go out with him tonight because it’s your regular Tuesday night yoga class. It’s okay to go out with him because you want to spend time together and go to yoga tomorrow night.
After all, you want to find someone and share your life with them, but you also want to create a life together, right?
