We usually complain that love isn’t the way that it’s portrayed in films and that it would be better if guys would whisper sweet nothings in our ears on a regular basis. Many girls find that reality is totally different and that romance isn’t exactly a prized thing these days.
It seems like we should be jumping out of our chairs if we get a nice enough text message from a guy that we like, so we can’t even dream of bouquets and steak frite dinners and hot air balloon rides.
Even if we admit that some romance would be pretty nice, we know that we can’t expect our daily interactions with our boyfriend to be a scene out of a romantic drama or comedy. But it’s not too much to ask for our boyfriend to be polite and kind toward us. In fact, we should absolutely insist on that because we shouldn’t tolerate any other behavior.
It’s simple to look at our BFF’s dating life and say, “That guy is toxic, why are you dating him?” It’s not so simple to realize that the person in our own life has been saying a whole list of toxic statements over the course of our relationship.
If he says at least 20 of these 25 things, he’s 100 percent toxic.
25I’m Going Out With The Bros This Weekend
If he says this, he’s 100 percent toxic. For one thing, it’s not great for him to say the word “bros.” That just shouts immaturity from the rooftops (seriously, we swear that people could hear him say this).
For another thing, he’s hanging out with his friends every weekend instead of us… and that’s not going to make us feel that thrilled. Of course, he can see his friends, but he should aim for a schedule so he makes enough time for everyone, not just his “bros.”
24I’m Not Saying I’m Not Your Boyfriend… But I’d Prefer We Didn’t Call It That
It’s 2019 and it’s definitely time that guys stop saying that “girlfriend” and “relationship” are the worst words ever. A guy who tells us that he can’t call himself our BF isn’t going to win any favors with us.
If he says this, he’s 100 percent toxic, and we’re going to let him know how we feel about what he just said to us. It’s not “cool” or “casual” or whatever he thinks it is. It’s actually silly because if two people want to be together, they should admit that it’s a relationship instead of pretending that it’s not.
23It’s Leg (Or Arm) Day At The Gym
It’s pretty obnoxious when a guy tells us that it’s arm or leg day at the gym. If a guy says this, it’s not only 100 percent toxic but also hilarious that he would actually say this.
We might not be able to stop ourselves from laughing, but if we can, we should ask him why he thinks that this is going to impress us. So many guys think that bragging about the hour that they spent at the gym is going to make girls swoon, and it’s definitely time that this changes. It’s become cool and popular to work out and eat healthily so why would he act like he’s somehow special and the only one doing this?!
22Oh, I Didn’t See Your Text
Of course he saw our text. Don’t we all stare at our phones a lot? How often have we missed someone’s text message… particularly a text message from the person that we wanted to date?
A guy who says that he didn’t see our text is definitely toxic. He must be assuming that we’re not going to call him out on this, but we would because it doesn’t make any sense. There has really never been a time when we’ve texted someone and they didn’t see it at all. That just doesn’t happen (and, again, it’s 2019).
21Can You Stop Complaining?
Sure, it’s a bit ridiculous to think that just because someone likes us, that means that they have to listen to us complain every moment that we spend together. But when we aren’t complaining at all and are telling our crush or boyfriend something important and he asks, “Can you stop complaining?” Well, that’s not only frustrating but it’s toxic, too.
Boyfriends should listen to their girlfriends. He wants us to listen when he has to get something off his chest, doesn’t he? It should go both ways, even if what we’re talking about is dull to him.
20You’re Talking Too Much
It’s nuts to imagine a guy telling us that we’re talking too much. Chances are, we can admit that we do love to talk in general. We particularly love to talk to our boyfriend because we feel close to him and we want him to hear our opinions.
When he says that we’re talking too much, it definitely makes us feel bad. It would be tough not to take that comment to heart. If he loves us, he loves hearing the things that we have to say, so it doesn’t seem good that he would say this to us.
19Why Do You Hang Out With Her If She’s So Annoying?
We can definitely say that our boyfriend is 100 percent toxic if he says this to us.
We want him to understand that we don’t always agree with how a friend behaves, but we’re not going to break up or cut off the friendship. Sure, it sucks when she’s late to dinner or sends us massive text messages whining about something, but friends let friends do those things sometimes.
We could ask him why he hangs out with certain friends, and he probably wouldn’t want us to.
18Did We Have Plans Tonight? I Forgot
It’s going to feel pretty bad to hear him say this, and it’s another example of a toxic guy. Who forgets plans? Especially plans with their girlfriend or, at least, their crush or love interest?
So many guys think that being casual and acting like it’s all totally great and cool will get them out of any situation. They can forget plans and it would be no big deal. Unfortunately for them, it’s a big deal and we’re not going to be okay with it all.
17Weddings Are Too Much Work And Money
Another toxic statement that doesn’t even make a ton of sense, really. We could tell our BF that weddings don’t have to cost a lot of money or be that bad at all. We could literally marry someone at City Hall or throw a backyard wedding if we wanted to (and if our relatives weren’t putting lots of pressure on us).
He’s 100 percent toxic when he says something like this because he doesn’t want to see the whole wedding thing from our perspective. Don’t we get so annoyed when someone makes up their mind and won’t listen to reason?!
16Are You Sure You Should Be Eating That?
Our only response to a guy who says this to us should be, “Let’s not talk to each other anymore.” Because, whoa, that is a lot.
We can eat absolutely anything and everything that we want. We decide this, not him or anyone else, and we shouldn’t have to hear this. He’s definitely 1oo percent toxic if he says this. And if we heard someone say this to a friend or family member, we would be pretty upset, too (and we would tell them to break up with that person).
15I Wouldn’t Be With You If I Didn’t Want To Be
When a guy says this to us, he’s trying to be reassuring… but the truth is that this is kind of a mean thing to say.
Maybe he’s saying this because we want to get married and he’s putting that talk off even longer. Maybe he’s saying this because it’s been several years so he figures he should say something that seems related to commitment and the future. He could make tons of different excuses, but we don’t want to hear such a toxic statement from our boyfriend. It’s not exactly like he’s saying, “I love you so much that I want to be with you forever so let’s get married.”
14My Phone Was Dead
The truth is that it’s super rare that someone will tell us that their phone died and it will be totally true. That might happen once in a blue moon. The rest of the time, their phone was fine and they just didn’t feel like texting us back. Which is okay, people need their space. But what’s not okay is the lie.
We can guess that this is another toxic statement. It’s one of the 25 things that he would have to say to us to make us say, “Yup, totally toxic, and not worth our time.”
13You’ll Meet My Family Later
We’re honestly never going to meet his family if he says this to us because he’s going to keep putting it off. Guys who want us to meet their mom, dad, and any other relatives will do it pretty quickly because they’re thrilled to basically show us off. And we’re super thrilled to be shown off!
He’s toxic when he puts anything that has to do with commitment and relationships off until later. He’s not giving us the time of day and we deserve the time of day for sure.
12No One Our Age Is Having Kids/Settling Down
Couples settle down at different times. It’s possible to have a 30-year-old couple in our friend group who has two kids already and everyone else isn’t even married yet. It’s just the way that things work, and everyone is different.
He’s 100 percent toxic when he says, “No one our age is settling down or having kids.” He’s saying this because he wants to put off the conversation about marriage and children. Why would we care what other people are doing if we want to do something?
11You’re So Cute When You’re Mad
Why are we cute when we’re mad? Because he wants to avoid the argument that is probably about to occur or he doesn’t want to have a serious or emotional discussion? It’s probably both of these things… and it’s 100 percent toxic.
We would be offended if someone told us that we look cute when we’re mad. It just totally disregards our feelings and the serious issue at hand. This is another classic thing that some guys say without thinking and it just never sounds good.
10Don’t Try To Change Me
When a guy says this to us, maybe we are trying to change him but we have good intentions. Or maybe we’re not trying to change him at all and so he’s being mean-spirited.
A lot of guys automatically assume that girls want to change them and that they can’t dress the same or see their friends or anything like that once they get into a relationship. Of course, none of that is actually true. Maybe we want to be a positive, inspiring force in his life and help him out, so if he says this to us, then he’s toxic and he’s being mean.
9We Shouldn’t Text So Much (Or During The Day)
A guy telling us “we shouldn’t text so much” or “we shouldn’t text during the day” is 100 percent toxic. We’re going to be grown-ups and focus on work and stuff like that, so he doesn’t need to act like we’re going to literally text him so much that he can’t do anything else.
Talking about texting rules is kind of silly and makes him sound like a fairly immature person. If he said this to us, we would have a hard time not getting upset because he’s making it seem like we can’t control ourselves and we just “have” to text him.
8You Should Do More Around The House
Okay, whoa, we really don’t want him to say this to us. First of all, we should definitely have equal reign over the house/apartment that we’re sharing. And second of all, it’s offensive and seems mean.
We can’t help but say that this is one of the most toxic things that a guy could say. It’s basically saying that he expects us to do everything around the house and clean all the time… but why would we?! We have lives and we’re not the only ones living here.
7Didn’t You Take A Million Selfies This Week Already?
Okay, so it’s true that some guys don’t really get selfies. That’s still no reason to try to make us feel bad for taking selfies or acting like we shouldn’t be doing this. Why can’t we? We look cute and want to take some photos.
The big issue with this statement is that he’s talking about the way that we’re acting, and that’s not fair. We wouldn’t tell him to stop taking selfies if that’s what he wanted to do. It’s very toxic to be controlling like this.
6You’re Turning Into Your Mother
How would we react if our boyfriend told us this? No offense to our mothers because we love them and think that they’re so great… but this is a classic as far as frustrating statements go.
If we’re turning into our moms, it could be an awesome thing because they have really great things about them, so it’s weird that he wouldn’t be able to see that. But he’s probably saying this to hurt our feelings, which puts him in the “100 percent toxic” category.
5You Spend Too Much Time With Your Friends/Coworkers
One of the best things about friendship is that we don’t have to be with our friends every day in order to feel close and like we have a bond that no one or nothing can break. But we still want to see our BFFs on a regular basis, of course.
Our boyfriend has no right to tell us that we’re seeing them too much or that we’re hanging out with our coworkers too many times a week, either. As long as we’re making time for him and we’re still showing him that we love him, it doesn’t seem fair for him to say this. It’s toxic for sure.
4We Never Have Any Fun
If he told us this, we would want to ask him what he thinks would be fun because we might think that we have been having fun together. Maybe we’re just not on the same page.
This is a toxic statement since it seems like he wants to hurt our feelings or make us feel pretty bad. Maybe he wants to fight about something or is attempting a conversation about the future. Whatever the reason is for this statement, it’s still toxic and it’s still not something that he should say.
3I Don’t Know
When we ask our boyfriend about dinner, what we’ll do this weekend or anything and he says “I don’t know” that’s a truly bad response. He would never want us to say this to him and so it’s too bad that he’s saying it to us.
This is definitely one of the 25 things he could say that would make him 100 percent toxic. If he never “knows” what he wants or what we should do, then he’s not putting any effort into the relationship, and that’s a negative.
2I’m Sorry You Feel That Way
At first, we might think that he’s saying “I’m sorry.” But he’s saying “I’m sorry you feel that way” and that’s a totally different statement.
This isn’t the best thing for him to say. He’s not apologizing and is just trying to end the discussion or argument. Toxic? Yes, we would have to agree that he’s toxic and that he shouldn’t ever say this to us. Everyone has a right to their emotions, even if their partner isn’t really prepared to deal with those feelings.
1Let’s Discuss It Later
We could ask our boyfriend anything and he could say “Let’s discuss it later” and we would be upset every time. It’s not what we want to hear or what we deserve to hear. Our partner should be open to talking to us.
Unless we’re at dinner with friends and it’s super awkward to have a deep discussion about feelings and our relationship, it’s always going to be a fairly good time to have a serious chat. After all, no one really wants to get all serious, but that’s part of being in a relationship. And if he says 20 of these 25 toxic things, he probably isn’t prepared for that.