Sometimes, it’s hard to tell when a breakup is right around the corner. It can be easy to miss the signs—the emotional distance, the slow response to texts and calls, the frequency of cancelled plans that all add up over time. When a guy is starting to show signs that he is subtly checking out of the relationship, a girl’s first instinct is usually to ignore the reality of the situation—not because she is totally blind to what’s really going on, but because who wants to acknowledge that the guy she is in love with is probably about to give up on everything? It’s one of the worst feelings, and it’s a position that no one ever wants to be in.
But even though it’s hard to admit what’s going on when these signs start piling up, every girl should learn how to recognize them. No one wants to be totally blindsided by a breakup. A breakup that comes right out of the blue is one of the most difficult things to go through. Don’t get caught off guard in the future. If a guy is doing any of these 20 things, he’s about to end it for good.
20He Starts Picking Fights
When a guy starts picking fights over silly things that just don’t seem to matter, don’t write it off—it’s always a bad sign. According to Cosmopolitan, a guy may start picking fights when he is ready for the relationship to end, but he doesn’t have the guts to be the one to stand up and say that it’s over.
Instead, he hopes that by picking so many fights and getting mad over little things, his girlfriend will get so fed up with him that she will be the one to call it quits first. It’s a major warning sign.
19He Keeps Bailing On Plans
Look, every once in a while someone will have to cancel plans that they fully intended on going through with just because an emergency comes up. But if a guy starts canceling plans on a girl every weekend, even though they have been together for a while, it’s not a good sign of things to come.
According to Allure, a guy who can’t commit to a plan is a guy who doesn’t intend on sticking around much longer. And instead of honestly coming clean about his feelings, he is going to slowly ghost and hope the girl just gives up.
18He Forgets Important Dates And Anniversaries
It’s true that at some point, every boyfriend will forget an anniversary or a special date—it’s just how guys are, and sometimes even important details just slip their minds. If this happens once or twice, it’s not a major cause for concern. But if it starts happening consistently? According to Self, the relationship may be in trouble if that is the case.
This means that he no longer sees those special occasions as important. The anniversary no longer stands out in his mind because he has lost interest in the relationship, and therefore, those dates don’t matter to him.
17The Little Surprises Stop
In a happy relationship, little surprises are just part of the whole package deal. A guy should surprise his girlfriend every once in a while and do something that makes her smile just because, and a girl should do the same thing for her boyfriend. According to Cosmopolitan, that’s why it’s such a major red flag when those little surprises seem to stop for good.
It means that the guy doesn’t think it’s worth it to put in that extra effort. He doesn’t want to go the extra mile to make his girlfriend happy. And that means a breakup is in the future.
16He Comments On Other Women In Public
Could a guy be more blatant about losing feelings for his girlfriend? The answer is no. According to Self, when a guy starts commenting on how attractive other women are in public, in front of his girlfriend, that’s a sure sign that the relationship is past the point of no return.
A guy who does this genuinely does not care about his girlfriend’s feelings. He will say and do whatever he wants from that point going forward, and he doesn’t feel like he has any obligation to treat her with respect. He knows it hurts her, but he doesn’t care.
15His Phone Is Suddenly Off Limits
In a happy and trusting relationship, both the guy and girl will probably be fine with the other person using their phone once in a while. Neither party will be especially overprotective of their phone—after all, if they are not doing anything bad, there is no reason to be.
According to Teen Vogue, a guy who suddenly becomes super-cagey about his phone is hiding something. There is just no way around it. He is talking to someone that he does not want his girlfriend to know about, and he is probably planning to break up with her soon.
14He Stops Talking About Their Future Together
Two people who fully intend on staying together for the long haul will talk about the future pretty often. After all, they’re excited to reach those big milestones together. But according to Self, a guy who suddenly avoids talking about the future with his girlfriend is a guy who doesn’t intend on sticking around to experience that future with her.
It’s a subtler warning sign than some of the others, but it’s very important to pay attention if this happens. It means that he no longer sees a future with her, and he’s already planning how to go through with the breakup.
13He Won’t Commit To Big Plans
Let’s say that a girl asks her boyfriend if he wants to take a trip with her in a few months’ time, and although he would normally be excited about the possibility, this time he just seems hesitant. For some unknown reason, he doesn’t want to commit.
According to Teen Vogue, this is a sign that he doesn’t think the relationship will last that long. He doesn’t want to get her hopes up, or commit to something that he just knows he is going to bail on. Instead, he just says that he’s not sure whether he can do it or not.
12He Doesn’t Try To Keep The Spark Alive
Let’s face it, long-term relationships take work, and after a couple of years it’s completely normal for that initial “spark” to fade and be replaced by a deeper and more committed feeling of love.
According to Psychology Today, couples say that the honeymoon phase generally lasts for a year or two, and then both parties really have to put in some effort to keep the spark alive.
When a guy stops putting in that effort, it means he longer really cares if there is a spark or not, because emotionally, he is no longer invested in the relationship at all.
11He Brings Up Past Flings
Look, even though it may be uncomfortable, sometimes it is necessary for a girl or a guy to talk about their past relationships. But according to Cosmopolitan, if a guy suddenly starts spending a whole lot of time reflecting on his past, it could be a warning that he actually misses one of the women he’s talking about.
Being friendly and amicable with an ex isn’t such a big deal, but constantly talking about them to a current partner is definitely off-putting. If an ex seems to be on his mind all the time, a breakup might be coming.
10He Doesn’t Show Affection In Public
Of course, showing too much PDA is never a good idea—in fact, most people see it as OTT. But on the other hand, showing absolutely zero affection in public is never a good sign, either.
According to Glamour, a guy who doesn’t want to show any affection in public is probably acting this way because he secretly wants people to think that he’s single. He doesn’t want people to know that he is supposed to be committed to one girl—he wants women to think that he’s on the market, and soon enough, he probably will be once again.
9He Has Mysterious New Female Friends
It is perfectly fine for a guy to have female friends while he is in a relationship, and it’s also totally fine for a girl to have guy friends while she is dating someone. Of course, things have to be kept completely platonic. According to Glamour, it’s a bad sign if a guy suddenly seems to have new female friends out of nowhere.
It’s just good manners to introduce your significant other to your friends, and if they seem to have all of these friends who you’ve never met before, well, it definitely raises some questions about their true intentions.
8He Starts Acting Emotionally Distant
There are many different reasons why a guy might act emotionally distant. According to Self, it could be because he is going through something difficult in his personal life and he doesn’t know how to open up about it, which doesn’t have to spell out the end of the relationship. On the other hand, it could also be because deep down, he feels like he is already over his girlfriend, and he doesn’t feel connected to her anymore.
In this case, the relationship could be on the rocks, and he might not want to put in the work to fix it.
7He Won’t Listen To Her Valid Concerns
Not every relationship problem means that the end is on the horizon. A fight or a disagreement does not have to mean that the relationship is over. But if one partner won’t listen to the other when they are upset, it is pretty much hopeless.
According to Self, both parties in a relationship have to be willing to work through the hard parts together. If a guy refuses to even listen to his partner when she has a valid concern about their relationship, well, there is simply no saving that bond. He’s basically saying it’s over right then and there.
6He Compares Her To Other Girls
Out of all the warning signs that a breakup is in the near future, this one just might cut the deepest. When a guy starts comparing his girlfriend to other women, there is no doubt that she is going to feel extremely hurt and offended by that—and according to Psychology Today, it’s his not-so-subtle way of letting her know that he is losing interest in her without him directly saying so.
He doesn’t want to come clean about his true feelings because the idea is uncomfortable, but he also does not want to be in the relationship anymore.
5He Doesn’t Care How She Spends Her Time
Naturally, we all know that a guy who is overly jealous and controlling about how his girlfriend spends her time is not the kind of guy that any girl should be dating. But on the flip side of things, a guy who doesn’t seem to care at all how his girlfriend spends her time is a guy who doesn’t really care too much about his girlfriend.
According to Cosmopolitan, a guy who seems totally unconcerned with how his girlfriend spends her days is mentally checked out of the relationship already. He doesn’t care what she’s doing because he’s over it.
4His Teasing Turns To Insults
A little good-natured teasing is the norm in every relationship. If you can’t poke fun at each other, things are going to be a little bit boring. But according to Teen Vogue, there is a fine line between teasing each other and insulting each other, and if a guy crosses this line, it could mean that the relationship is going south.
Teasing and insulting are two different things, and a guy who turns to insults and then tries to play it off as “just joking” probably does not care too much about whether or not he is hurting his girlfriend’s feelings.
3He Doesn’t Tell Her Where He’s Going
A guy who seems to come and go without saying where he’s headed or what he’s doing is almost always up to something that he would rather his girlfriend not find out about. According to Cosmopolitan, guys like this may not even care that their girlfriend is concerned about what they’re doing or where they’re going.
They get into a selfish mindset, and they think that they have the right to do whatever they want, and if she gets upset about it, well, she’s just being too controlling. But in a relationship, you do owe your partner that information.
2He Stops Complimenting Her
Nothing makes a girl’s day like a sweet compliment. Part of being in a happy relationship is boosting your partner’s confidence and letting them know how wonderful they are.
According to Self, it’s a big problem when a guy stops dishing out compliments to his girlfriend. It means that he is no longer even willing to say a few extra words to let her know how much he appreciates her.
He knows that it will hurt her self-esteem, but he just no longer cares. And it is definitely a sign that he is thinking about a breakup.
1He Wonders If They Should “Take A Break”
When a guy is wondering out loud whether or not it is time to take a break from the relationship, it’s usually already over. According to Cosmopolitan, taking a break almost never ends with the relationship coming back together. It usually means that the guy has already let go of the relationship in his mind, but he wants to keep his girlfriend on the back burner in case dating other people doesn’t work out.
Part of him knows that it is time for him to walk away, but he doesn’t want to be alone, so he says he wants to “take a break.”