June26 , 2022

I’m begging you, don’t send me any more messages

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I don’t want you to send me messages. I don’t want to wake up in the morning and find one of your messages.

I don’t want to get used to this sweet feeling, because it’s only a matter of time before it goes away.

I don’t want to spend my time watching my phone, hoping that you remember me.

I don’t want to be one of those girls who live on their phone. I don’t want to be loved virtually.

I want something real. The messages mean nothing. They are just a heap of words that anyone can write.

I would make efforts for you. I would love you without obligations or duties. I would not be you.

I don’t want to see that you make as much effort to love me as you do to raise your fork. I deserve better than this half second – the time it takes to click ‘send’.

My dear, I want an old-fashioned love.

It is said that staying in touch is important, that maintaining this type of communication is important.

But going in this direction, your love for me would only become an obligation.

You would call me, simply because you would tell yourself that you have to do it.

We must not love as you think we must love. I would rather be alone a thousand times.

I don’t want you to feel compelled to hear from me. I don’t want to disturb your thoughts or anything you do, because I want a message where you tell me that I miss you.

I don’t want to pop into your thoughts, like something you have to stop thinking about.

You must feel the need to take care of me by yourself. You must want to hear from me and see me. I have no right to force you to do this.

And after we’re separated and away, I also don’t want you to send me messages.

I don’t need your apologies. I can neither go back in time, nor forget how you treated me.

You can promise me to change, but it won’t erase the past. It won’t change my mind.

You see, I don’t need more promises. I’m tired of words. Words mean nothing.

I’m tired of scrutinizing the same expression on your face, knowing that you’re lying, knowing that nothing will change.

Knowing that we will go around in circles, until one of us ends up cracking.

I put an end to all this. So please don’t make any more promises to me.

Do not write to me that you have changed, that this time things will work. Stop Please. I beg you.

Don’t send me messages, because I’m better. Don’t confuse me, just when I’m about to come out of the darkness you’ve plunged me into. Don’t ruin my day.

I know you are a lesson I had to learn. I know that if God sent you, it’s for a good reason.

I really loved you, but you never loved me back.

And I’m not angry. I don’t want revenge, because fate has other plans. You weren’t made for me, so why should I blame myself for that?

Please, when you feel the need to write to me again, don’t do it. I beg you.

If our couple never wanted to say something, if I left the slightest mark on your heart or on your soul, you will not press ‘send’.

You won’t even enter my name.

Please leave me alone. Let me suffer, cry, and forget. Wait, stop, and think of me.