Although I no longer have you to kiss or hug, I am happy. I find serenity in the fact that I expect nothing from you anymore. That’s essentially what pulled us apart. I expected you to love me in the way I loved you, and that was never the case.
You spent our entire relationship worrying about you, and I was completely blind to the fact that you didn’t put a quarter into our relationship that I did.
Coming to terms with the fact that you had no intentions of being good for me was hard, and it hurt because I loved you so much, but I’m happy now that I’m alone.
I’m happy because I don’t have to feel like I’m being taken advantage of or being ignored. I do the things that make me content and that I find enormous joy in, and those things no longer include you.
I repress the memory of us out of fear that it will ruin the joy I feel in this moment, but I remind myself that you can no longer touch me. The memory of our one-sided relationship has no place here to taunt me and hurt me. It has no power over me anymore.
I find more happiness in being single than I ever did with you because what we had wasn’t true love. It was doomed from the start, merely a lesson I needed to learn. I had to learn not to believe everything people tell me. I had to learn that love is deeper than words coming out of our mouths.
Being without you has made me realize how toxic you were. I had forgotten what breathing fresh air felt like. I had forgotten what it was like to prioritize my own happiness.
I almost forgot what it felt like to wake up and be content. Now I get to be a little selfish and I get to prioritize what’s best for me and what will help me get to where I’m going in the days to come.