Who hasn’t sat at a wedding and heard the reading that begins, “love is patient, love is kind” and thought to themselves that they could be a better person to their mate?

We would all like to be perfect human beings, but the problem is that we can’t always be. Except for Mother Teresa and a couple of other saints, we are all a product of human nature, which is not always patient, nor is it always kind.

The rules for love is patient love is kind

To be the type of lover who feels good when they hear the reading and know that they are doing everything humanly possible to treat their mate with the utmost respect, you have to conduct yourself in a kind manner.

#1 Love is patient. Love doesn’t have a timeframe. There is no golden schedule that a relationship has. If you love someone, you have to be patient enough to let them make their own decisions and guide their own fate.

You can’t push your mate into making life decisions or having a timeline for when things are supposed to happen. Love can only flourish when both partners are all in, and sometimes that takes one more time than another.

Love is patient is also about learning to respect boundaries and giving your partner time when they need it. Not crowding, forcing, or pressuring your significant other, is required. Yes, it’s sometimes easier said than done, but well worth the peace.

#2 Love is kind. Love is all about being kind to one another – hence the phrase, love is patient love is kind. But kindness is not always an easy thing in the heat of a fight or when you are really angry. To be kind, you have to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and never say things that you don’t mean or can’t take back. Remember, even if we say things in the heat of a moment, they still count.

Learning to hold your tongue, even when you are really mad is crucial for long-lasting to love. Once you say something mean, it only opens the floodgates and desensitizes you the next time you get into a fight. Saying mean things is like ringing a bell. When words wound, the scars remain forever.

Being kind also means that you have to put your partner’s feelings ahead of your own sometimes. If they are having a hard day, you may have to take some of that bad attitude. When they need an extra hand, you may have to put your own hurdles on hold.

#3 Love is not envious. It is difficult sometimes to always let someone else shine. To love someone, you have to recognize that you are a team, and that when one excels, you both do.

#4 Love does not boast. If you are experiencing a euphoric time in your life, it is okay to bask in it, but boasting is another whole animal. Feeling accomplished and proud is okay, but they are not things that you need to throw around.

Love isn’t about talking about how wonderful you are or all you are doing right; it is the kind and respectful way that people act toward each other when they are in love.

#5 Love is not proud. It isn’t that you shouldn’t be proud of yourself and your accomplishments, but you shouldn’t be proud of yourself for doing the basic things that you are supposed to do.

#6 Love does not dishonor others. When we say love is patient love is kind, it means you don’t disrespect the other person. That means many things. Loving someone means not belittling them or making them feel less than.

It means respecting their needs and successes as well as their failures. Love also honors the fact that there are two people in the relationship.

Not going outside of it to talk about the other person is part of honoring your mate. Being committed physically and emotionally are required for love to grow. That means forsaking others and making them your number one go-to person.

#7 Love is not self-seeking. Self-seeking behaviors are those that are only for your own benefit. When you love someone, you are no longer just one person. When you are in a relationship, sometimes you have to put the other person’s needs above your own.

#8 Love is not easily angered. Anyone who has ever had kids, a job, or any stress in their lives, knows that some days are harder not to be short-tempered than others. Getting angry quickly does nothing to solve a conflict, it only makes it harder to communicate.

#9 Love does not keep a record of wrongs. When in love, you have to not only forgive, but also forget. All too often in a relationship we bring up old things that someone has done, or we bring old fights in which cloud new arguments. When you love someone, you shouldn’t count the number of times they have done something bad or the number of times you have sacrificed.

That will lead you both to react in ways that aren’t appropriate for the discussion at hand. Love means never keeping score or taking a tally of who has been “better or worse.” It means looking at everything as if it is its own situation, not letting the past cloud the future.

#10 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. Imagine that you let your significant other go on a trip, even though you didn’t want them to or you fought about it ahead of time. While on the trip, they do something stupid and hurt themselves.

 

 

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