If you love your best friend, this scenario gets pretty complicated, especially when intense feelings are involved. You face a dilemma of Greek tragedy proportions. Torn between moving forward with what you feel, and keeping your precious friendship intact.
In a platonic relationship between men and women, one almost always ends up falling for the other. The initial intention may just be companionship. But things get convoluted when s*xual attraction gets in the way.
The s*x factor, as told by Harry
If you value your friendship—you tell each other your problems. You finish each other’s sentences, and you support each other through career and relationship moves. You may want to fight the feelings and stay in a simple, uncomplicated friendship. If you need help keeping those feelings at bay, just think of these things to help you move on from loving your best friend.
#1 The judgment starts. When you were friends, you told them about everything. What you think of this movie, why you went out with this person, that one-night stand you had, why you won’t go to that Chinese restaurant… your best friend knows it all.
In fact, your best friend may know too much about you. This was fine when you were friends. You have kicks at all your quirks and opinions, and your best friend tells you about everything, as well.
However, dynamics change when more-than-platonic love comes into the picture. Your best friend-turned-lover may get paranoid about every one you meet at the bar or your opposite gender friends at the office. Meanwhile, you may be worried about their boss, whom they told you they really adore and look up to.
#2 Someone always ends up getting hurt. Falling for your best friend can also be tricky because they may not feel the same way. Once you open up that dam of emotions and let your heart go to that unknown territory of your relationship, things will pretty much be in turmoil.
No matter how much you know your best friend, you never know how they will react when you tell them you love them.
Perhaps they considered it once or twice before, but can’t really see you becoming more than just their best friend. If this is the case, you’ll end up nursing a wounded heart. Once you let yourself fall, there’s a big risk they may not be “the one” to catch you. Even though as a friend they have your back. *And yes, it can be twisted like that.*
#3 Best friends don’t necessarily mean best couple. And don’t you forget it. The thing with friendships is, they are not as complicated as a romantic relationship.
Friendship has an easy, hassle-free, no-expectations air to it. But anything more than that turns problematic. There will be expectations and rules and roles. Expectations alone are enough to ruin not just the relationship you’re trying to build, but your friendship, as well.
The reality is, once you become a couple, an invisible line is drawn, where there used to be none. You see sides of each other that you have never seen before. This leads to a whole lot of drama you didn’t have when you were just friends.
#4 You’ll have no one to turn to if you have relationship problems. When you were just friends, and you had a bad day with the guy you dated, your best friend was there to pick you up from work. You cried on their shoulder or bawled your eyes out in your sweats, while eating a tub of ice cream and cursing.
If—or when—you take your relationship further with your best friend, things take a very different turn. In fact, the hurt comes much deeper and stronger, because the person you thought was the living example that there is still hope of finding a good partner just acted like a total jackass.
#5 There is no going back to the friendship you used to have. Once you cross that line to s*x and being a couple, there is no going back to being best friends—or even casual acquaintances.
Even confessing your feelings to your best friend may prove to be too much to handle, especially if they doesn’t feel the same way. Things then turn awkward. They become wary or self-conscious around you. Or even start to distance themselves from you.
#6 You lose the love of your life—and your best friend. Things are easier when you are friends. When you become more than that, things get messy. There is always that chance the relationship may not work out. When this happens, you not only lost your lover, but you cannot go back to being best friends again. There will be a dent in that friendship, and it can’t be put back together as perfectly as before.