There comes a point in the dating world when you have to take a step back and reevaluate your situation. Somehow, you always end up dating jerks who just don’t give a damn. Your friends may say you just need to lower your expectations, but is that really necessary or is it a load of bullshit?
I’m going to come right out and say it’s definitely bullshit. However, that doesn’t mean your expectations are correct, either. Some people just don’t know what they should be getting in a relationship.
Why having expectations is necessary
You have to have a basis for how you want to be treated. Otherwise, you may end up with someone who is horrible to you and you won’t even know it until it’s too late. This may already be happening in your relationships and why you may feel like you need to lower your expectations.
When you set up your expectations early – and have good ones – you get treated correctly. Not only that, but it helps you spot the shitty partner early on so you can get rid of them before you’re too emotionally invested in them.
Should you lower your expectations?
In a simple word: no. But there’s a lot more to it than that. The thing about having expectations for the people you date is that they have to be realistic. If you’re expecting to be treated like royalty but not willing to treat them the same, you’ll never feel satisfied.
But have no fear. We’re here to tell you what expectations you should have in a relationship and the ones you need to get rid of. Having unrealistic expectations may make you feel like you’re never being treated right even though you are.
Great expectations to have
#1 Someone who respects you. This should be a guarantee no matter what. However, there are people out there who are in relationships with people who have no respect for them. They don’t care about their feelings or wants and needs. You need to be with someone who highly respects you.
#2 Someone who values their time with you. Your time is limited. Between work or school, friends, and things you need to do for yourself, it only leaves a small amount of time for someone special. That person should value their time with you. They shouldn’t be on their phones the whole time or ditching you for other plans.
#3 When they show interest in your passions. This is probably the most important thing. Never lower your expectations when it comes to this one. Even if someone doesn’t fully understand your passions, they should still support them and show an interest in them. If it’s really important to you, it should be that way for them, too.
#4 Someone who appreciates the things you do for them. When you’re with someone, you do a lot for them. You cook for them, give them small gifts, and you might even just give them a back massage every now and then. They need to appreciate it. Don’t be with someone who takes you for granted.
#5 When they actively want to know about your life. You should always keep this expectation high. If you’re dating someone, they should want to know what’s going on in your life. They should want to be involved. That can be with your friends and even your family.
#6 Someone who can give you your space. We can’t always be with someone else in our free time. We all need some time to ourselves to unwind and just be alone. If the person you’re with can never give you that, it’s a problem. This expectation should be high on your list.They need to respect your “you time.”
#7 Someone who cares about your well-being. This should be an obvious one but it’s often overlooked. Be with someone who wants you to be healthy. However, this can be a little tricky because sometimes a person can seem like they’re just looking out for you when really, they’re being controlling.
#8 A person who can appreciate your faults. We all have flaws. Nobody is perfect. That being said, the person you’re with should be able to appreciate those things. Sure, they can recognize them as flaws, but they will acknowledge that those things make you who you are. They should love them.
#9 Someone who puts forth the effort – even if they don’t want to. Not everything you do for your significant other will be great. You’ll have to do stuff that’s not very fun. You still need someone who does those things for you even when they don’t want to. That shows they care and will do what it takes to make you happy and to make your relationship function healthily.
#10 Someone who cares about your happiness. This is crucial. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t give a damn about your happiness? They’ll never put forth the effort to make you happy.