Most of us have parents that, in some moments, are overprotective. You know what, they’re your parents, so it’s in them to want to protect you and make sure you’re safe. But when do those overprotective parents cross the line and become too much?
If you’re sixteen and your parents want you home by eleven, well, that isn’t being overprotective, that’s being smart. But if at thirty, your parents want to try to keep you home or make you call them whenever you leave the house, well, that’s a little much, no?
Overprotective parents and what to do with them
You’ve probably lost your shit a thousand times, went crazy with all their rules, but there’s a better way to deal with your overprotective parents than to argue with them. Of course, becoming angry is only human, so if you get angry, it’s understandable.
But, why not make this experience better for all of you? Here are the 13 ways to deal with your overprotective parents. Selective hearing only works for so long.
#1 Overprotectiveness doesn’t mean they’re evil. Your parents aren’t evil, they’re just scared shitless of something happening to you. Letting your child go into the world is scary.
#2 Don’t get angry. I know you probably want to blow up in a rage, yell, and tell them everything that’s on your mind. But does that really help? I mean, sure, you vented all your frustrations out but that doesn’t change your overprotective parents.
You didn’t talk to them about boundaries or what you need. You just yelled.
#3 Sit them down and have a talk about it. This is really the best way to show them your maturity as a young adult. If you want them to back off, show them you’re serious and that you’re approaching this situation as a grown adult.
#4 What do you want? You need to know what you want. What is it about their rules and behavior that you don’t need? Do you want to be able to walk home from school alone? Tell them. Do you want to be able to go out on a Friday night with your friends? Tell them.
Make sure you know exactly what your needs are because they’re going to expect to hear them.
#5 Talk about your feelings. Though this is about them, it’s really about you. It’s how they affect your feelings and your life. So, narrow in on that. Talk about how this makes you feel. Use the sentence “I feel…” in order to show them how their behavior actually affects you.
#6 You’ll have to compromise. Now, if you think your parents are going to give you everything you want, you’re wrong. Maybe what you want is simply too much. So, be ready to compromise.
Don’t make your needs the extreme opposite or else they may not be able to handle it. A better idea is to make small changes and have them slowly adapt to those before increasing the boundaries.
#7 Understand their point of view. If you don’t understand where they’re coming from, this isn’t going to work. If you want to compromise, you’re going to have to be mature and put yourself in their shoes. Having no curfew at eighteen-years-old probably isn’t going to happen, they want to be able to sleep with peace of mind at night. So, think about them as well.
#8 Prove to them that freedom is healthy. If you want them to see that being less protective is good for you, show them the positive effects. If they give you freedom but you crash their car while driving drunk, well, I can’t say I’m shocked that they’re overprotective parents. You must show them that you are responsible and trustworthy, that way, they’ll be more relaxed.
#9 Be open for advice. Parents are going to give advice. My parents give me advice. Sometimes I ask for it and sometimes I don’t. But that’s the thing, that’s what parents do. It’s not to annoy you, they love you so they want to help you make the right choices.
#10 Establish the boundaries with them. Even though they give you advice, you still need to establish boundaries. This means you need to tell them what is okay and what is not okay. How else will they know calling you every twenty minutes when you’re on a date is a bad thing?