One of the most horrible feelings is not being in love with someone who adores you. We have all stayed in a relationship a little longer than we should, either out of fear or the desire not to hurt someone’s feelings. It only makes the inevitable worse, so learning how to tell a guy you don’t like him matters.
The longer you stay, the more a guy becomes attached. Science tells us not only are guys the first to fall in love in a relationship, they are also typically the last to fall out of love.
If you hold onto a relationship so you don’t hurt a guy’s feelings you aren’t doing him, or yourself, any favors. Likely, he has a clue things aren’t awesome. Staying means all you do is confuse him.
How to tell a guy you don’t like him – 10 ways to do it without bruising his ego
If you want to let a guy down easy, the key is to let him walk away with his self-confidence and esteem intact. If you drag it out, you’ll likely treat him with less respect and adoration than he needs or deserves.
If you think by treating him less than stellar he is going to dump you and let him off the hook, you are wrong. Guys in love take a whole lot of punishment before they say enough is enough.
#1 Introduce him to someone else. There is a good chance you won’t have to say anything if you can push a guy off on someone else. If you know someone who would be “perfect” for him, or at least more his type, make sure to have them meet accidentally. Then foster the relationship.
#2 Tell him you must focus on your career. If you don’t want to have to tell him you don’t like him in “that” way, tell him you want to take time to focus on your career right now.
If you let him know, in no uncertain terms, you must choose your career path over any relationship in the near future, it lets him down without letting him know you aren’t into him.
#3 Tell him he is just too “nice” for you. If you want to tell a guy you aren’t into him, the nicest way possible is to say he is just too good for you. That is code for “I am not into you.”
When you put it in those terms, you both pay him a compliment while at the same time tell him nicely you just aren’t compatible. He likely knows you can be a smart ass and somewhat selfish at times, so he will probably be okay knowing you are looking for someone who isn’t as nice to you. That, he will think, is all on you.
#4 Tell him your mind is not in the right place for a relationship. There are all sorts of reasons you may not be in the right frame of mind for a relationship. Tell him you just got over a bad relationship or that you are in a “bad” place right now. You need to get your head straight before you move on with a relationship.
No guy wants to be with a girl who doesn’t have her shit together. To him that means you come not alone, but with baggage. Make up something in your life that you need to attend to. If nothing else, it extends the time you need to break his heart. In the meantime, he will probably find someone else to fall in love with.
#5 Don’t text it! The worst thing you can do to anyone is texting them your feelings. If he is into you and has put himself on the line for rejection, then you have an obligation to not just text him your feelings.
It is never comfortable to say it face-to-face, but at least you see the expression on his face. It tells you how to navigate your words so you don’t hurt him. You may think it easier to send some words through your phone, but the hurt from that can be lasting.
#6 Tell him your heart belongs to someone else. A guy doesn’t want to be into someone whose heart belongs to someone else. Tell him you never got over your last relationship. It wouldn’t be fair to get into a new relationship until you have resolved the unresolved feelings.
Most people sympathize with someone who is dealing with a broken heart or being in love or even having an unrequited love. If you tell him your heart isn’t free to give away, he won’t take it personally or think that it has anything to do with him.
#7 Break it off as soon as you know. If you think he isn’t the right guy for you, then don’t hold on just to avoid the inevitable.
If you know you aren’t into him, then you have a responsibility to break it off as soon as you know. Avoiding him, missing his phone calls, or trying to blow him off aren’t appropriate ways. Once you know, he should be the second one to find out.
#8 Don’t keep calling him. Here is where things go wrong. Girls can be very callous sometimes. If you don’t like a guy, but let’s say he is “convenient,” then every time you pick up the phone for something, you reinforce you are into him.
When you need a ride, a favor, or you can’t find anyone better, it is not fair to go back to him It only leads him on. The best way to tell a guy you aren’t into him is to be up front and don’t waver.
Once you make the break, continuing to use him when you need him, is not nice or cool. Find a way to say you aren’t interested and let him be.
#9 Tell him you are interested in someone else. There is nothing self-esteem depleting about someone telling you they are into someone else. That doesn’t tell them they aren’t cool or hot enough, it only tells them you fell for someone you can’t get over.
The key to telling a guy you don’t like him in the nicest way possible is to tell him that, if you were single, he would probably be a catch.
#10 Be honest. Guys know when you try to appease them. It can be even worse than being mean. Although you don’t want to hurt his feelings, telling him something that isn’t true to have him find out otherwise, only prolongs his agony.
If you say it in a kind way, and tell him it isn’t anything lacking in him, then you can’t be responsible for the fallout.