Our Relationship Wasn’t A Failure But Redirection Toward Good Things To Come

Posted: July 27, 2020 by XPOFeed

I wish I could say I’m happy I met you, but that would be a lie. On the contrary, I sometimes wish we never met at all.

Either way, it is what it is, and now I’m learning to live with your memory in the back of my mind, hoping it would somehow cease to exist.

All the sleepless nights, for what? Another disappointment and yet another new beginning, starting from scratch.

How do you let go of something that defined your life for so long? How do you make peace knowing what you thought was real suddenly isn’t?

You brought me so much pain and left me alone and confused. I lost all direction in my life because I was so immersed in making you happy.

I forgot who I am without you and after you left my life, it suddenly hit me. I needed to find myself again.

I don’t want to see you as an enemy, but I do want to see myself as the hero of my own life.

For a moment I got scared I’d never get back on my feet again, but now I know I will.

Life’s an unpredictable journey and I’ve always been a wanderer. I’ve always felt too much yet never ever given up. You couldn’t change that.

Not even after everything you put me through. Not even when you intentionally hurt me. Not even after all the imaginary things you blamed me for.

I always saw the good in you. I still do… but it’s time for you to take care of yourself and for me to care about myself.

That’s the lesson life taught me through you. You can’t change somebody if they don’t want to change themselves, no matter how hard you try.

Everyone is responsible for their own actions and no amount of empathy will make someone see their own shortcomings when they put so much energy into avoiding them and blaming others.

It’s not my responsibility to save you. It’s not my responsibility to keep you entertained and happy.

I never realized that before, but now I do.

The only way anyone can grow is through self-reflection and humility, through balancing our ego and our emotions.

The ego is not always bad, because it’s there to protect us. The problem is when it gets so big there’s no room for anything else but ego.

That’s when the lack of self-reflection makes you blind to other people’s feelings and needs.

That’s why I had to take care of them on my own. That’s why I promised myself I will change my life for the better, even if that means living without you.

I will not make our story an example of failure but of a life’s lesson that needed to happen in order for good things to come.

 

I will not make our love a tragedy but a learning curve.

This lesson requires self-love and braveness, and I’m here for it.

I’m slowly learning to love myself for all the things I am. I’m learning how to forgive myself and give myself a second chance.

I know I’m worthy of real love and pure attention, and I won’t accept anything less.

I know that the love I give can be returned to me the same way.

And above all, I know that I’m enough the way I am.

I struggled for so long to accept myself and now finally I start to see the good in me. Ironically, it was only after you were no longer here.

I refuse to put my happiness in the hands of other people ever again.

Now that I know my life is in my hands, I’m ready to make something great out of it.

I’m ready to start over and think of you as someone who helped me get there.

As I said before, life’s an unpredictable journey, but I’m determined to make it the best it can be.

 

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