I have been on dates with so many guys and tried dating some of them where I felt things were off as if they were emotionally detached. Well, I didn’t have to feel it, half of them literally ran away from me, so I could see it wasn’t going to go anywhere. But was that because I did something wrong? No, in fact, I did everything right. They simply weren’t ready.
Someone may like you, but the minute they start thinking about what the future with you will look like, they emotionally detach themselves. It’s not necessarily because of you, but they’re simply not ready or they’re scared.
How to know someone is emotionally detached
From experience, being with an emotionally detached person is exhausting. You don’t need to give yourself to someone who gives you only the bare minimum of themselves. Know the warning signs so that you pull out of this situation before you’re head over heels for them.
It stings, but it’s better than dragging this out.
#1 They’re not compromising. They only do what they want to do. If you don’t join them, they don’t care. And if you think they’re going to do what you want sometime, don’t hold your breath for it. Anything where they’re inconvenienced is already too much for them.
#2 You find yourself bashing them. You’re frustrated because they’re not giving you what you need emotionally, which is understandable. With this frustration, you find yourself bashing them, insulting them to their face, or behind their back.
#3 They find flaws in you. We all have flaws. But they dig through yours. Why? Because they don’t want to be emotionally involved with you. If you’re flawed, it’s easier for them to rationalize why they could never be with you. You’re flawed and they can get better. At least, that’s what they think.
#4 They’re too nosy. I once went on a date where the guy, within the first five minutes, asked me how many guys I’d slept with and if I’ve had one-night stands. This is a huge red flag.
Invasive questions about s*x and money show that they’re not emotionally available. They don’t actually like you, they’re terrified about being cheated on or played, so they simply look for someone who follows their criteria—and they don’t care who that person is.
#5 They don’t argue with you. To argue with someone, you actually must care about them or the issue at hand. However, if you can’t seem to get any emotion out of them, it’s because they don’t care. When people argue, they’re emotional. But if you can’t even get this person to talk to you about something that’s bothering you, it’s over.
#6 If they do, it’s all your fault. If you manage to have an argument with them, trust me, it’s going to be all your fault. I saw one guy and within the first week, we argued. And when it came down to it, it was all my fault. Nothing was tied to him. In fact, I was the one that ruined the relationship that we never had.
#7 They’re inconsiderate. They don’t ask if you’re hungry or if you need a ride to work when you missed your bus.
Though these may not seem important, they are. They show that this person cares about you. But if they’re not going out of their way to do anything for you, they’re not emotionally invested in you.
#8 They seduced you into the relationship. How did this relationship come about? Usually, emotionally detached people are very good at seducing others. Why? Because they don’t care. If your relationship happened very quickly, it doesn’t mean that they’re emotionally connected to you. Remember, seduction is about conquering and gaining power over another.
#9 They don’t define what you two are. Are you two dating? Just s*x? What are you two? Now, you don’t need to have a label. However, it’s nicer to know if they’re having s*x with other people or not, right? If they’re not willing to tell you what you two are or they don’t want to commit, they’re not willing to emotionally invest in you.
#10 You don’t talk about emotions. When was the last time you sat down and had a deep conversation about your relationship or your feelings for each other?
You may have had those talks, but now, your conversations are as shallow as a kiddie pool. If you try to bring it up, do they dodge the topic? That’s a sign.