I know what you’re thinking. You can’t always control getting emotionally invested in someone new. I get that. BUT if you’re paying enough attention, you can catch yourself before it’s too late.
Becoming involved with someone new isn’t something to take lightly. There are a lot of things you go through when you let your guard down and become involved with someone. You have to think about yourself before you go ahead and throw yourself into someone else’s life.
The mistake many people make with someone new
When you’re dating someone new, it can be easy to get caught up in the rush of emotions. You might not stop to think about if what you’re doing even makes sense with this new person. There are a lot of mistakes people make when they start seeing someone new that can ruin it.
Things to consider before getting emotionally invested in someone
The truth about letting yourself be emotional with someone is that you may sometimes regret it. If you let them in, they could hurt you more than if you stopped yourself from getting so emotionally invested in them.
If you just met someone new that you think is really great, stop yourself for a minute. Consider all of these things before you decide to dive in and get to know them on a deeper level.
#1 Are you ready for that? You have to consider your own life first. Are you in a good place to become involved with someone else? Being emotionally invested in someone else takes a lot out of you as a person.
#2 Are THEY ready for it? You also have to think about where they’re at in their life. By now you know enough about them to realize if they’re ready to become emotionally involved with someone. Think seriously about their life and decide if they can be in something real right now.
#3 Are you compromising your own life for this person? This is one of the biggest mistakes people make when they get emotionally invested in someone. They drop their entire life in order to be with a person.
This is not a good thing and usually means you have to work on yourself a little bit. So step back and think about this seriously. Do you give up your plans and free time in order to answer their last-minute call? If so, don’t let yourself get emotionally invested.
#4 Do they deserve your emotional investment? Think about this. Does the person you’re interested in even deserve you to be emotionally invested in them? Do they do anything for you? Are they adding any value to your life?
Your investment of emotion and time is a gift. You should be giving it to those who deserve it. If this person isn’t worth it, then you need to step back and wait until they get their shit together for you.
#5 Are you riding the lust train only? This is just a sign your relationship is on the fast track. If you’re only ever discussing or doing s*xual things, you can’t invest your emotions. Slow down a bit and go backward. Get to know them on a deeper level. If you still care for them, then go ahead and let your emotions out.
#6 Do you trust them? This is a huge deal. Do you really trust them not to hurt you? When you get emotionally invested in someone else, you’re opening yourself up to harm. They have the power to upset you. You have to trust someone before you’re able to get vulnerable with them.
#7 Is your career or schooling still coming first? The bottom line here is that you’re still focusing on the important things. You’re not allowing this new person to take up too much of your time and energy. Make sure your life is still revolving around the most important aspects, like your job or schooling.
#8 Are you completely over your ex? Think about this seriously and be honest with yourself here. If you’re not over your ex, it can cause problems if you become emotionally invested in someone else. You can start projecting certain emotions from your ex onto them. Take the time to get over your past relationships first.
#9 Are they showing the same emotional investment in you? You can’t give your emotional side to someone who isn’t investing the same in you. Are they showing signs of being committed to you? If they show that they’re serious about you and are willing to put forth the effort, then you can definitely go for it.
#10 Are you happy with your life? Consider how happy you are with your life apart from them. Are you still just as content without them or do you need them for your happiness? If it’s the latter, that’s an issue. You need to learn to be happy 100% on your own before you can become emotionally invested in someone else.
What to do if you’re in too deep
If you just realized you’re already way too emotionally invested in someone, don’t worry. Here’s what you can do to get back to yourself and pull back the reigns with that new person.
#1 Reevaluate how you feel. Take a break from your new person. Get alone and try to evaluate your true feelings. If you have some time away, it’ll be easier for you to think clearly and gain the right perspective. Figure out if you’re in too deep and pull back if you need to.
#2 Get in touch with friends. Your friends are always looking out for your best interest. Get in touch with them and see what they think. Open up and ask for their support. They’ll help you understand if you’re too emotionally invested and if you need to separate yourself a bit.
#3 Focus on your hobbies and your own life. If you still want to see that person but you think you’re too emotionally invested, just shift your focus. You can still have them in your life, but you can also still put emphasis on your own happiness.