When I meet a new person, I try to get to know them better.
And learn more about the aspects of his personality that are often hidden. I also like to share all of these parts of myself, if I feel confident.
I recommend this list to everyone, it doesn’t matter if you are strangers, friends, or lifelong lovers.
Today I am in a romantic relationship where most of the revealing questions have been asked and answered. All of Pandora’s Boxes, for the most part, have all been opened and accepted.
And even though I think I know this person as an individual, I still feel like there is a lot that we don’t know about each other.
As we spend more time together and deepen our intimacy, I noticed that a new being had emerged: the relationship itself. It’s something that didn’t even exist before we met.
It’s a force we both don’t know. Our relationship surprises us, comforts us, and challenges us. Every day we realize that we need to take the time to know and honor her.
A curious thing happened when I noticed that this triangle was emerging and starting to reveal itself. I realized that no matter what we learned from each other, there were new questions that were less about “you and me” and more about “us”.
What do we like or not like about us?
So I thought about things that I wanted to know, as well as things that I was afraid to know. So I put together 33 questions meant to create a shared awareness that I think will improve the ability of two lovers to dance together as if they were one.
Some of the questions here will be hot and hazy, but some will be blunt and a little cheeky. You may discover things that will make you uncomfortable and less comfortable with your partner.
Or you may feel great relief knowing more deeply how much you are loved. You will probably feel a mixture of the two.
Some things will be comfortable and some will be uncomfortable.
The thoughts and feelings discovered here are real. You might not like what you hear. But be gentle when you hear honest answers. They are difficult to give. Note that “Name one of my behaviors that irritates you”. Does not mean: ” Name one of my behaviors that you would like to change.” It also doesn’t mean “Cite behavior that doesn’t make me likeable.” Your partner loves you despite your imperfections.
Remember that “I don’t like it in our relationship” is not about you. Watch each response when your partner tells you something about them. Even if it looks like it. It’s just about your partner sharing their likes and dislikes at that time. It’s an exploration of him, in the present moment. Don’t feel pressured to change your future behavior when you are not asked to.
Resist your ego that wants to take all the answers personally.
When you hear a response that makes you feel uncomfortable and you’re not sure what to say, try responding by saying, “Thanks for sharing this piece of you with me. I am grateful to know this information. “
When the answers are difficult and hurtful, you can talk to yourself too. “I’m glad to know something that already exists. Nothing changes. I must not change. My partner is not asking me to change. How I react is up to me. “
Empathize with your partner and encourage the truth by sharing yours. Nothing is better done by hiding the truth. It is true that many relationships are prolonged because the truths remain hidden. If your relationship can’t resist the information revealed on this list, then it wasn’t meant to last.
Keep in mind that this person has individual tastes and has chosen to like you. If she replies that she really appreciates the time away from you and would even like to have more of it, she loves you anyway! Be careful not to make assumptions and hear things that weren’t said.
Be understanding, tolerant, and gracious as you give and receive the truth.
Only the most mature, open, and honest relationships will benefit from this experience.
Be sure to proceed with caution and attention.
What do I say or do that makes you feel loved?
What do I say or do that makes you feel unloved?
What initially attracted you to me?
What do you like best while we have an intense relationship?
Am I touching you enough?
Do I congratulate you enough?
How / when do I make you feel special?
Do you have an interest in an intimate activity that you haven’t told me about yet?
What scares you the most about our relationship?
What’s the nicest thing about our relationship?
How can I help you keep your individuality?
Think about your first impression on me when we first met. What has changed since?
Do you think there is one thing that I am not 100% honest about?
If you could change any part of your body, what would it be?
What’s the most hurtful thing I’ve ever said or done to you?
Tell me something you want me to do during s**x.
What part of my body do you like best? My spirit?
Name one of my behaviors that irritates you.
Tell me what sets me apart from others.
When we first met, how long did you think we would be together?
How do you feel when we are apart?
What is my contribution in your life?
What do you think attracted me to you?
What are your thoughts when you see me talking to an attractive person of the opposite gender?
How can I show you my support?
Have you ever been afraid that I would cheat on you?
Have you ever thought about being unfaithful to me?
When do you like me the most?
Are you confident in how I feel about you? What could I do to increase this?
Do you think we spend too much time together? Not enough?
Is our relationship less exciting now than when we first met? How?
What is your biggest fear?
When do you feel most alive?
