When you start dating someone, you may understand them as a person.
But it’s not always easy to decipher what kind of a lover they’d be.
But as time passes by, sometimes a few weeks, or at other times, a few months, you’d be able to clearly tell just what kind of a lover they are.
The signs are easy to see, just as long as you can clear the haze of love away and see your lover for who they truly are.
The kinds of lovers and compatibility
Firstly, not all kinds of lovers are compatible with each other.
If you’re someone who’s fiercely independent or someone who likes to be in control all the time, you may have a hard time staying in a relationship with a controlling partner.
On the other hand, if you’re the kind of lover who wants to be taken care of, you may find yourself completely incompatible in a relationship with someone who’s selfish.
Before you date someone or try pointing fingers at them, try to find out what kind of a lover you are.
It’ll help you understand your own good side and your own flaws when you enter into a relationship.
And once you understand yourself better and realize what kind of a lover you are, you’d find it easier to tell if there’s a potential for a new relationship to work out or not with ease. [Read: 12 signs to recognize true love in your own relationship]
There’s more than one kind of lover in all of us
There are many sides of love in all of us. Vey rarely would you find just one kind of a lover in all of us. Almost always, it’s circumstances and relationships that bring out the different kinds of lovers within us.
A few kinds of lovers are never good for a relationship, while a few other kinds are perfect for a long term romance.
While there are many subtle hints of different types of lovers in us all, there’s one kind of lover that sticks out and defines us for the kind of lover we are. And that’s the way your lover and the rest of the world would see you. [Read: 10 types of love you’ll experience in your lifetime]
The 20 kinds of lovers that exist in the world
Use these 20 kinds of lovers to find out just what kind of a lover you are, and what kind of a lover your partner is.
Try to define yourself as one of these 20 kinds of lovers, and speak with your partner and ask them to point out the kind of lovers they see in you.
And if you don’t like how either of you see each other, talk about it with each other. After all, understanding what kind of a lover your partner sees in you can help you become a better lover, and work on your flaws. And it’ll help your partner become a better lover too! [Read: 23 types of relationships to define your love life]
#1 The giver. This is the selfless lover who constantly gives in the relationship, usually because they believe they’re not good enough for the relationship or their partner, or they believe they don’t provide enough value to the relationship and try to compensate for it by giving more towards the relationship.
#2 The taker. This is the kind of partner who constantly takes in the relationship *always wants things their own way*. This person believes they bring so much into the relationship just by their mere existence that they don’t need to do anything at all to make their partner happy. People who think of themselves as a trophy usually end up as this kind of a partner. [Read: 12 signs you’re a selfish taker in the relationship]
#3 The pleaser. This kind of a lover goes out of their way to please their partner. Call it unconditional love or pleasing love, but just watching their lover smile makes this person happy and fulfilled. They get pleasure out of pleasing their partner, even if it means giving up on something they want or like. [Read: A sweet true love story of a pleasing and unconditional lover]
#4 The controller. The controlling lover appears very caring and loving, and seems extremely attentive to your needs. But somewhere along the way, you may start to feel stifled and suffocated by their subtle demands or restrictions.
They use manipulation and emotional blackmail to make you dependent on them, and before you know it, you feel trapped and isolated from the rest of the world. [Read: 15 shockingly subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend]
#5 The selfish lover. This kind of a lover always thinks twice before giving something or doing something nice for their lover. They always ask themselves “what’s in it for me?” before they do anything. And they *discreetly* want the bigger or better thing all the time, be it the bigger slice of pizza that both of you pretend not to notice, or while making plans for the next vacation. [Read: 10 signs to recognize a selfish person and 5 ways to stop them from hurting you]
#6 The doubter. This kind of a lover never completely trusts you. You always have to go out of your way to make them feel secure and happy in the relationship. They feel threatened by your friends, or by anyone else who seems to give you the slightest hint of attention. They constantly doubt you or sneakily try to snoop around in the hope of catching you red-handed.
#7 The actor. The actor is a tricky person to read, because they behave like they really care about you when you’re around. They constantly try to show just how concerned they are about you and your happiness, they ask you if you want something, but in reality, they don’t ever do anything to make you feel better. It’s all talk and no trousers. [Read: The risks of making someone a priority when you’re only an option to them]
#8 The drama seeker. This kind of a lover wants to experience something new all the time, be it a fight or a romantic getaway. They don’t like comfort or monotony. They’d rather pick a petty fight or do something dramatic than just let the relationship go along its calm course.
#9 The straying lover. This kind of a partner gets bored very easily and they always want more. They may seem excited for the first few months of the relationship, but as soon as the infatuation stage passes by, they get distant or boring. And they’d seem more interested in impressing someone else. [Read: The 9 stages of a relationship all couples have to go through]
#10 The overlooker. This kind of a partner sees your flaws, but they choose to overlook them or put up with them because they don’t want to change anything in the relationship. They’d rather be a punching bag who deals with their partner’s affairs or lack of affection by turning a blind eye to it, rather than confront or walk away from it.
#11 The helper. The helper constantly tries to help their partner become better, either by supporting them or criticizing them. They find their own meaning to life or happiness in life by supporting their lover and helping them achieve something.
This kind of a partner behaves like a martyr who sacrifices their desires to help their partner achieve theirs, but they always remember the sacrifices. And at times, they may even use it to emotionally manipulate their lover.
#12 The compromiser. This kind of a lover doesn’t mind giving in for the happiness of the relationship. They give in easily in any argument or discussion just to please their partner, or avoid a fight. They may seem like they have no desires or wants, and are happy to accept the decisions of their partner.
#13 Possessive lover. The possessive lover may love you a lot, but they have a very hard time trusting you. They constantly feel like everyone else in the world is out to separate the both of you, and every person of the opposite sex is trying to hook up with you. This kind of a partner may love you, but they have a hard time trusting you unconditionally.
#14 Jealous lover. Does your partner ever feel jealous of your success or your achievements? The jealous lover may love you a lot, but they always want what you have, or more. If you buy a few new expensive perfumes, your jealous lover would want to buy perfumes too. And if you get promoted at work, your partner may start sulking about how underappreciated they are at work even if they never felt that way before you got your promotion! [Read: How to stop being jealous of someone else’s success]
#15 Material lover. This kind of a lover is more focused on wealth and luxuries than anything else. They want everything the material world has to offer, and they don’t care what their partner does *behind their back* as long as they have money and the good life.
#16 The loyal lover. A loyal lover is the one who sticks with their partner through thick and thin. They have moral principles and they don’t go looking for opportunities to cheat on their partner. They’re emotionally and sexually satisfied and don’t stray at the first stolen opportunity.
#17 Passionate lover. This type of lover is almost always on a sexual high. They’re extremely passionate and are proud of their sexual prowess. They spend a lot of time making love, and they love having a good time in bed and pleasing their partner. They’re full of passion and they can’t imagine a life where sexual intimacy takes second place behind anything else. [Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas for a sizzling relationship]
#18 Brooding lover. The brooding lover is the kind of lover who’s lost in their own world almost all the time. They want space and love being by themselves for several hours, and at times, they may even get annoyed if they don’t get enough space to be by themselves. They’re distracted or lost in thoughts, and even if they seem happy in the relationship, they almost always seem bothered by something. [Read: The right way to give space in a relationship]
#19 Enthusiastic lover. They’re always enthusiastic and love trying new things all the time. They’re not boring, and at times, they’re even reckless. They love creating memories and are always involving their partner to try a new experience all the time.
#20 The romantic lover. This kind of a lover is a true romantic. They woo you and impress you with romantic gestures all the time. They’re really sweet and loving, and don’t miss any opportunity to display a grand gesture of love and romance! [Read: 25 really romantic ideas to make your lover melt]
So which of these 20 kinds of lovers do you see in yourself and your partner? Talk about it to each other, even if it seems painful or awkward. If both of you care about each other, having this conversation will only bring both of you closer!