Relationships can be both a blessing an a curse. At their best, they can make you happier, help you grow as a person, and have someone to share the best and tougher parts of life with. Of course, the downside is how complicated relationships can be, the level of sacrifices they sometimes require, and the vast amount of damage the wrong romantic partner might do. It’s no wonder relationships are so stressful!
While it’s true that men and women often have different origins of stress in relationships, a lot of these are often misinterpreted and misinformed. Of course, as society continues to evolve, the things that women value in relationships also continue to evolve. Despite what some old-fashioned advice may suggest, most women don’t stress about making their partners adhere to traditional gender roles any longer. Many men may find themselves a bit surprised at the things women do stress about in relationships, as well as the things that are not so important to them. Whether you’re currently in a relationship, seeking a partner, or are happy to be a single Pringle, you’ll probably still be interested to know what the modern woman values in relationships, and what sort of things they don’t stress about. So read on!
25They Stress When Their Partner Is Insensitive To Their Insecurities
Insecurities are something everyone has to deal with on a personal level, however, romantic partners have the power to either quiet or aggravate these doubts in a relationship.
A lot of women have unfortunately had experiences with men that make their insecurities worse either by validating them or dismissing them.
What could be worse than a partner that makes you feel lower when you’re already down in the dumps? Having an unsupportive romantic partner can leave anyone with some permanent emotional scars, so it is really no wonder that women stress about romantic partners that are insensitive to their insecurities.
24They Stress When Their Partner Doesn’t Communicate
This is certainly not an issue that exclusively stressful for women; a lack of communication is stressful in any relationship. However, because men are the ones most often discouraged from expressing their feelings, it’s understandable why this issue is such a problem for women in hetero relationships. It can be very stressful to try to guess what your partner is thinking or feeling, so it’s best for men to do their partners a favor and let them know what is going on with them for better or worse. Relationship conflicts can’t be solved until they are communicated, so talking is an important first step.
23They Worry About Having A Partner That Spends Too Much Money
There are so many ways in which money becomes a problem in relationships, but this reason may be surprising to some. An important part of any relationship is building a life with someone, and having a partner that spends too much money is, unfortunately, a sign that that future may rest on unsteady ground.
Most women are looking to know that their partner is responsible and trustworthy, and sadly spending too much money can be an indication of immaturity and a lack of concern about the future.
Having a partner that spends too much money only gets more stressful once a couple gets married and decides to share joint accounts, so most women want to know what sort of spender their partner is before they consider going down that route.
22They Stress About Having A Partner That Is Too Codependent
There’s a stereotype that women want someone to take care of them. While this may be true for some women, this idea is largely untrue for the majority of women today. The majority of women today are accustomed to maintaining relationships with men they want to be with, rather than the men they need. This is why codependence is such a major turnoff for so many women. Most women want to maintain their freedom in a relationship, so it’s important that their partner also values independence. Having a partner that wants to be joined at the hip can make for a rather stressful situation.
21They Stress When Their Partner Doesn’t Pay Attention
Over and over again, attention is cited as one of the most important factors that separate relationships that succeed from ones that fail.
The whole point of a relationship is to have someone that makes you feel special, and nothing makes someone feel more un-special than being ignored.
Whether it’s noticing a new haircut or paying attention to the details of a story about your partner’s coworkers, attention goes a long way. When men in relationships don’t pay attention, it can lead women to stress about whether they’ve lost interest and that can lead to a whole host of insecurities.
20They Don’t Care About Having A Partner That Is Settled In Their Career
In this day and age, the average person switches careers a number of times in their lives. While most women value having a partner with ambition, this doesn’t necessarily mean having everything figured out career-wise. Whether a man is working on figuring out their passion, or still climbing their way up the ranks where they work, most women don’t mind as long as they’re working towards something. Of course, this does change the older you get; if you’re over 40 and still figuring it out, that may be a concern for most women, so there is a cap to this leniency. Overall, the most important thing is to just be passionate about something.
19They Stress About Having A Partner That Spends Too Much Time With Their Friends
Contrary to what some old movies might suggest, most women don’t mind if their man has a “guys night.”
However, as with anything else in life, moderation is key.
Quality time is an important part of maintaining a relationship, and it can be stressful when a guy either blows off date nights to hang out with his friends, or he tries to include them when you are supposed to be spending quality time alone together. Above all, most women in relationships just want to know that they are a priority and they start to question whether they are when men choose their friends over them.
18They Worry About Having A Partner That Acts Different When Their Friends Are Around
As much as we like to think relationships are between two people, they really aren’t. Friends play a lot of roles in traditional relationships, and they can really make or break them. One of the ways friends can break a relationship for guys is when they’re too attuned to a certain pressure to act differently around them. Sometimes men are comfortable expressing their feelings and being vulnerable around their partners, but only if there’s no one there to see it. Understandably, women can get very stressed out by a guy that is more distant when their friends are around because it leaves them stuck with a less pleasant version of their partner whenever they have company.
17They Stress When Their Partner Doesn’t Want To Talk About The Future
Theoretically, relationships are built for helping people find someone they want to share their life with.
However, people get into relationships for all sorts of reasons, and sometimes one partner sees a future that the other does not.
Many women have had the experience of having a partner that does not want to make any solid plans for the future and remains evasive when any talk of it comes up. It’s always stressful to not be on the same page as your partner, but especially when it feels like you might be more invested in the relationship than they are.
16They Don’t Stress Over Having A Partner That Is “Too Emotional”
Even though times have changed, a lot of men still harbor some fears about being “too emotional.” Ironically, most women are more worried about a lack of communication from their partner, so having a significant other that is emotional is a relief in many ways. Whether it’s being open about their feelings regarding the relationship, or even something as lighthearted as tearing up during Titanic, most women are relieved to see their partner be emotional; it’s an indication of a certain level of comfort and vulnerability that suggests they’re serious about the relationship.
15They Worry When They Don’t Share Their Partner’s Vision For The Future
Sometimes, the issue isn’t that one’s partner is unwilling to talk about the future, but just that you imagine different things for it. Evidently, the issue of whether to have children can be a big deal breaker. However, there can be other differences over where to live, career aspirations, and general priorities.
Differences over what the future looks like are obviously stressful because it can hint at incompatibility.
Ultimately, all of our lives can turn out drastically different from what we imagined, so these differences over planning don’t have to be a deal breaker. It all depends on how much you want to make it work.
14They Stress When Their Friends Don’t Approve
Another way friends can derail a relationship? By not approving. Having a relationship that everyone thinks is a bad idea might seem romantic in movies, but in real life, it’s mostly discouraging and exhausting. If a woman’s friends don’t approve of her significant other, she’ll start to stress over whether her friends are seeing something that she isn’t. We’ve already established that relationships are about more than the two people at the center, so it’s certainly always best to make an effort with your partner’s friends and family if you want your relationship to go the distance.
13They Don’t Care If Their Partner Makes Less Money
Another popular dating myth that many men seem to believe is that women want someone who makes more money than them.
Of course, women are not a monolith and there are many who want exactly that, but many men overestimate the number of women that value money in this way.
Ultimately it comes down to a lot of factors, like if there’s room for advancement in your job, if you’re passionate about it, and if you make enough to support yourself. Most women aren’t going to fault a teacher or business owner for bringing in less money than they are, just as long as you don’t spend a decade working as an administrative assistant. Once again, it all goes back to ambition.
12They Worry When Their Partner Still Needs A Lot Of Parental Support
Some men, unfortunately, expect their wives or girlfriends to be like second mothers. Likewise, many women joke about feeling like their partner is their child. This is one joke that tends to be more like a cry for help because most women get very stressed if they feel that their partner is someone they have to take care of, rather than their equal in a relationship. Especially when there is the possibility of having kids, just imagine raising a child with someone that barely knows how to take care of themselves. It is no secret why this one is stressful.
11They Stress About Having A Partner That Has A History Of Being Unfaithful
Essentially, relationships are romantic contracts. Just imagine going into an agreement with someone that has a history of breaking them; it’s understandable if you feel a little wary. Some women have partners that they know have a history of being unfaithful. Often times, they’re hopeful their relationship will be different without actually having any reason to believe so.
Not knowing whether your partner is going to repeat their past mistakes can leave anyone feeling rather vulnerable.
In reality, there is an element of blind faith required in every relationship because people are imperfect and relationships mean trusting someone with your heart. We’re not sure if that makes things more or less stressful…
10They Stress When Their Partner Is Not As Ambitious As They Are
Level of ambition is a certain aspect of a relationship that gets forgotten about a lot. There are people who are happy with whatever cards life has dealt them; they are happy living in the same place they grew up and working a job than pays the bills even if they aren’t necessarily passionate about it. Others prioritize advancement, whether that is social, financial, or career-oriented. Evidently, there is no one way to live life, but it is important that people in relationships have comparable levels of ambition. Unfortunately, a lot of women stress about being in relationships in which their partner doesn’t have the same level of ambition which can render their future goals incompatible.
9They Stress When Their Partner Is Bad At Apologizing
Most of us acknowledge that we aren’t perfect, but that doesn’t mean that everyone is good at apologizing.
While it’s nice having a partner that can own up to their mistakes and has enough emotional maturity to apologize when necessary, this is a quality that can be hard to find.
Having a partner that has a hard time apologizing can add to the stressor of making women feel like their feelings aren’t important enough to deserve an apology. It can certainly be hard to forgive someone that never apologizes, but forgiveness is an essential part of any relationship. Which brings us to our next point…
8…And They Stress When Their Partner Is Slow To Forgive
Being able to apologize when necessary is just as important as having the graciousness to forgive your partner when they’re the one that’s apologizing. Having a partner that doesn’t forgive easily can be exhausting if you’re still expected to forgive them when they’re on the other side of things. Holding grudges can easily hold a relationship back, and bringing up someone’s past wrongdoings time and time again can put a serious strain on a relationship. As much as possible, men should try to forgive their partners when they mess up so that the same courtesy can we extended to them later.
7They Don’t Stress About Having A Partner Who Wants To Take Things Slow
Not every woman wants to be married, and even those that do are comfortable taking their time before walking down the aisle. More and more people are the products of divorced parents these days, and with the ever-discouraging divorce rates all around, it makes sense that women want to take their time finding the right partner before considering marriage.
This is why it’s perfectly okay for men to want to take things slow.
Though some are under the misconception that women will pressure them to “put a ring on it,” there is a big difference between wanting confirmation that one’s partner sees a future for the relationship, and wanting to walk down the aisle and have babies ASAP.
6They Stress When Their Partner Is Manipulative
What’s worse than having a partner that is emotionally manipulative? It can leave women with trust issues, and it can make them feel as if everything wrong with the relationship is their fault. Relationships require a great deal of trust, and manipulating one’s partner is essentially taking advantage of that trust. It can lead to new insecurities springing up for women, and it is stressful because it propels the idea that people always take advantage of the trust others place in them even if that isn’t always true. Sincerity, even at the worst of times, is the best way to avoid this faux-pas.
5…And They Stress When Their Partner Is Dishonest
Being dishonest isn’t quite the same as being manipulative, but it can have similar effects.
Having a partner that is dishonest can also lead to a lot of trust issues and a great deal of paranoia in a relationship.
It can cause a lot of problems especially when a woman’s partner also has a history of being unfaithful. Of course, sometimes even liars have good intentions, but anyone interested in saving their relationship should practice good communication and learn to tell the truth. As they say, it sets you free and all that. It will certainly take away a lot of stress for your partner!
4They Worry When They Have A Partner That Takes Them For Granted
Most of us have experienced a situation where we felt we were being taken for granted. While in some contexts it can be easy to walk away, in relationships it can definitely feel like a lose-lose. Having to choose between feeling underappreciated and losing one’s relationship is definitely stressful, and unfortunately, it’s a choice many women have to face. It’s important to remember that being taken for granted is not the same as being underappreciated, which is where communication comes in. Of course, there are other times when women simply find themselves with men that do not appreciate them.
3They Stress When Their Partner Doesn’t Take Care Of Themselves
The complicated thing about relationships is that you start to become very invested in someone else’s well-being. Because it’s impossible to control another human being, a lot of stress comes in when women see their romantic partners not being good to themselves, whether physically or emotionally. This is a difficult balance because most women don’t want to have to take care of their romantic partners, but they may feel that they have to if that person doesn’t do a great job of taking care of themselves.
It’s important to realize that a big part of having healthy relationships with other people is having a good one with yourself.
Otherwise, you’ll have a lot of your loved ones stressing out!
2They Don’t Care If Their Partner Disagrees With Them On The Little Things
Many women dislike conflict, but they also understand that disagreements are an essential part of relationships. There’s an age-old saying that opposites attract, but hooking up with your opposite obviously means that there is going to be some inevitable friction. This is why most women are okay with getting into disagreements with their partners. There may even be moments when you have to “agree to disagree” and this is okay too. As long as it’s not over anything major like where you’re going to live, it’s totally okay if she still likes Twilight and you think that it’s silly.
1They Stress About Having A Partner That Gets Jealous Easily
Jealousy is one of those things there has to be a delicate balance of in a relationship.
A complete absence of jealousy may be concerning, but too much jealousy is even worse.
Some women may interpret extreme jealousy as possessiveness, which is certainly a bad sign in a relationship. They feel that their partner doesn’t trust them, which can be personally insulting and hurtful. Having a very jealous partner may make women feel on edge around opposite gender friends or even strangers, and no one wants the pressure of having to second guess all of their interactions with other people when their partner is present. So do your partner a favor and keep your jealousy at bay!