When a guy asks you, “Where do you wanna go?” stop for a moment and think. Do you really want to put him through an hour of yoga when it’s obvious that he’s perfectly okay with his perpetual Dad Bod?
The purpose of a date is for you and your guy to enjoy some quality time together. You should first ask yourself if you’re both going to have fun on the date you chose. It’s not going to happen if he’s not enjoying himself. If you force him to go on a date that he doesn’t like, you might confuse his indifference towards the date with his affection towards you.
That is why you should know which types of dates don’t sit well with your partner. Once you find out what those are, you can suggest a compromise that will satisfy both of you. [Read: 16 first date tips for girls to dazzle your date]
What do guys want to do on dates?
The type of date you go on only matters if you and the guy you’re with aren’t into the same things. This could manifest in the form of hobbies and interests, or a predisposition towards a certain type of energy on a date.
Rather than get into the details of what type of date guys want, the real score is on what they want out of a date. When a guy asks you out on a date, he either wants to start dating you or to sleep with you. There are no in-betweens – that’s what the friend zone is for.
So, it’s understandable that a guy would want to go on a date where you can talk and spend as much time together as possible. If they don’t like a certain type of date, they won’t be able to show you their best side due to their discomfort or boredom. They don’t really care what type of date you go on, but they do care if they can’t be on their game during the date. [Read: 11 biggest dating turn offs for guys]
Location is important, but the activities involved should also be ideal. Most guys want to take you to a place where you will be impressed and entertained, without having to beg for your attention. The peculiar thing is that guys will never admit their discomfort. They let the issue go because they think it’s better not to make a fuss about it.
And it’s not just about being complacent. Dating is hard, even for guys. That is why they would rather sit through a whole day of making potpourri, rather than go back into the fray to find someone who’s going to put them through the same thing anyway.
So, why bother, right? Wrong. You should be considerate of your guy’s preferences because being indifferent to their needs can spell trouble for your relationship. [Read: 12 rules of dating etiquette for the modern woman]
What type of dates do guys hate?
Keep in mind that not all guys hate these date ideas. A lot of them actually enjoy it, but the majority has spoken – or in this case, won’t say anything about it, lest they regret it.
#1 Speed dating. It’s not exactly a generic date with a significant other, but guys only participate because they’re looking for a girl to date. They don’t necessarily enjoy compressing their life into two minutes for the scrutiny of a complete stranger.
#2 Hiking. Yes, it’s fun, but most guys don’t see the point of turning a hiking excursion into a date, unless they’re already in a relationship. You can’t get to know someone better when you’re huffing and puffing all the way up a mountain.
#3 Art galleries. Unless they’re really into art, going to an art gallery is not considered a good date option. There’s so much pressure to enjoy the experience that you can’t really immerse yourself in the environment enough to understand and appreciate what you’re looking at.
#4 Operas. Opera music is considered an acquired taste. The problem is, not many people are looking to acquire it. Unless your date is a fan of classical music, there’s not much you can do about his snores during the opening act.
#5 Ballet performances. The only saving grace of the ballet is its visual offerings. Again, the only guys who would be genuinely interested are already connoisseurs of ballet.
#6 Museums. They can be fun, but they’re not really conducive to a romantic day out. You can’t talk as much and hang out in the museum, anyway. Aside from that, the various tour groups seem to be designed to kill any romantic buzz you develop. [Read: 20 fun and unconventional date ideas you can try]
#7 Meeting friends or family. The meet and greet can scare some guys off because of the gravity of the situation. Even without the insistence of a commitment, meeting friends and family should not be considered as a date. It is what it is – your final assessment.
#8 Dance clubs. Dancing can distract you and your date from what’s really important. Apart from that, it could actually kill your guy’s chances if you don’t find his quirky dance moves endearing. And don’t forget the horny men who are waiting to swoop down on you.
#9 Movies. They always volunteer this as an option because they’re used to it, but most men don’t really start to enjoy the date until the movie’s over. Seriously, even girls don’t consider the watch time as part of the date.
#10 The mall. Not only is it boring, there’s also hardly any privacy, and it’s tacky as hell. The only reason why you’d choose it as a dating place is if you need to buy something or if it’s the only place in town.
#11 Fitness dates. Yoga, cross-fit, Muay Thai – you name it, he hates it. His gym time is reserved to maximize his health regimen, not to humor you in your quest to show off your flexibility and the product of your countless squats.
#12 Over-the-top rom-com dates. A guy will only shell out for this kind of effort if he’s had a crush on you for years or if you’re in a long term relationship. Even if they did pull out all the stops, the only satisfaction they get is your seal of approval. [Read: How to get a date to kiss you when you want him to]
What can you do ease his suffering?
I know you feel a little disappointed after seeing this list, but don’t worry about it. Just because your guy doesn’t like dates like these, it does not mean that he’s not willing to at least try them.
We’re not saying that you should forgo these types of dates altogether. You just need to find a compromise that fits both of you.
If you want to go to the opera, ballet, an art gallery, or the museum, talk to your date about what he’s going to expect. Ask him if it’s something that he might like to try, and if not, you can always find a friend to go with you instead. [Read: The LovePanky dating code for girls you have to know]
If you want to go hiking or do something active, you can make a whole day out of it by camping out. You can still participate in some yoga, hike, and still have enough time to bond with your partner.
One date won’t ruin your relationship, but closing your mind off to new experiences can be bad for you and your date. Instead of disagreeing, why don’t you and your guy address your issues about the kind of dates you both like?
Sharing a new experience is great for new couples, but being present and in the moment is a much better alternative. So the next time you suggest a date idea, make sure it’s as much fun for you as it is for your guy.