Relationships go through all kinds of phases, trials and tribulations, and even evolution. If you’ve never experienced the sheer terror and elation of a roller coaster, you’ve probably not understood the dynamics of a relationship. Sure, there are some that are less dramatic, but overall relationships have their ups and downs. And relationships have their privacy, too. Not everything that happens between you and your man needs to be headline news. While we do enjoy a good bit of juicy gossip, our friends don’t always want the super low down on our own romantic relationships. Sometimes too much information is just that –too much information. So next time you think about sharing with your friends, consider the damage you might do should you choose to open your mouth and be flippant. There is a ldifference between friends and therapists; sometimes we confuse the two. While that is normal, what isn’t is using friends as a sounding board for every detail of your relationship. Holding back, in this case, is a good thing.
15Dirty laundry
Maybe quite literally you want to keep your dirty laundry stories to yourself, but figuratively speaking you might want to keep some of your skeletons in the closet. Friends will always side with us, regardless –well, if your friends are real and ride or die peeps. But you need to keep your friendships separate from your relationships from time to time. It’s one thing to vent and shake free some bottled up emotions to rebuild positive energies, but it’s another thing to air your dirty laundry all the time. Friends will only stand for so much and after a while you won’t even be considered the boo-ed up friend, but the girl who tells all her stinky business with no shame.
14Bedroom stuff
It’s been said that women talk more about bedroom feats than men and whether or not that’s true doesn’t matter –OK, we know it’s true, ladies, but keep that on the d-l. We talk, period, but when it comes to sexy stuff, we really do take our convos to some raunchy areas. That is all fine and good if you are talking up, or down, some fool you took home with you last weekend, but when it comes to your tried and true boo, that stuff should remain between you and your partner. No doubt your partner would prefer that your friends didn’t know the state or size of things and it makes sense. That’s intimate stuff, honey. Keep it in the bedroom or locked away somewhere safe, but don’t be sharing all your bedroom escapades –it’s tacky.
13His stuff
In relation to the previous point, talking about your man’s stuff should be completely off limits. Again, the fair-weather piece of candy that slips into your pocket on a weekend where you threw your life up is all fine and dandy, but talking about your partner’s special parts is forbidden. One, it would make him feel so uncomfortable to know that others know about his package. Two, it might make your friends feel weird and thus everyone involved is a little awkward. And three, girl, that’s your man’s junk and it’s nobody’s business but your own. You wouldn’t want him talking about your parts to his boys now would you? So keep your mouth zipped on this one.
12His secrets
His secrets are for you and you only. Hence the term secrets. He’s chosen to be intimate with you about his feelings and that’s no small gift –especially, considering how society tells men they should tuck all their feelings away somewhere and not feel them or ignore them at the very least. The fact that he opened up to you should be treasured. If you break that trust, who knows what else you’re capable of breaking. Imagine the embarrassment he’d feel at knowing that you shared his dark secrets with all your friends. Not cool at all. Plus, I think your friends aren’t down with knowing all about your man; all the inside and out stuff is for your eyes only.
11Pet names
As much as you love y’all’s pet names, don’t think that others are equally as overjoyed about those silly a$$ names. Yes, they’re cute, but no one wants to hear the history, the long version, of how he gave you that nickname or how you were inspired by whatever thing to give him his nickname. That is couple stuff and that means that non-couples and even other couples aren’t into hearing about it. But more so your single friends will not give two sh*ts about those nicknames. It will make you seem like you are living in relationship bubble land which you probably are. If you want to keep or save any friendships you have, don’t talk about your pet names. Trust me, no one cares and the more you talk about things like that the closer you will be to having zero friends.
10Toilet humor
You know you and your man have some weird bathroom humor, some rituals and jokes –whatever it is, nobody, let me repeat that, nobody wants to hear about it. They don’t want to hear about any of it, whether it’s coming from you or him, it’s just fowl as hell. And trust me, only y’all find that stuff cute and funny, that’s why y’all are a couple. Other couples probably don’t have so much toilet humor or if they do they surely don’t talk to other people about it. Do yourself a favor, salvage the last few remaining friendships you have and do not ever, ever talk about toilet humor with any of your friends. Well, unless they’re into that sort of thing. And you know you’ve got that one friend –we’ve all got him/her.
9Freaky behavior
Y’all got your freaky on point, no doubt about it. Y’all got all the necessary costumes and paraphernalia and whatnot. Girl, good for you that you found a boo who’s into your ish or good for you that you were brave enough to try some of that ish. Overall, on the sexy scale, you’re knocking things out of the ballpark. But to be honest, not everyone is as freaky as your behind. Some people feel not only uncomfortable but even threatened by someone who is so obviously liberated. All your bedroom tricks need not be shared, not unless your opinion or expertise has been sought after. Otherwise, keep that stuff under wraps.
8Party games
What y’all do at parties is y’all’s business. We know that partying involves activities and substances that make us uninhibited, but just how uninhibited y’all get is between y’all. And maybe y’all take those games to new levels like mixing both substances and activities; you can do that because you are adults. As long as things are safe and all acts are consensual, then you have got nothing to worry about. However, you might want to worry about traumatizing your friends who might be a bit more conservative than you are. Even if they are not so conservative, that stuff y’all do is not for public knowledge. Do not make your life a spectacle. Enjoy what you do on the hush. Not everything has to be broadcast to the world.
7Grooming
We are animals. First and foremost, we are animals. And all animals have grooming habits. Look at some of our closest relatives. They pick and prune and really go to great lengths to groom their partners. However, this type of information is not for everyone. Just so you know, that kind of stuff grosses people out. No one wants to hear about any hair, nail, or pimple grooming activities. Not only will it make your friends look at your man in a new way, but they will begin to look at you as if you are not from this world. While you might not be from this world, you at least want to maintain some friendships you’ve thus created. Do not talk about this stuff, ever. And never whilst eating, please.
6Texting
Keep it real, you two text like crazy. It’s obvious you do because you leave so much random commenting on all your social media sites that there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that you two are texting more than you’re actually talking. In today’s shifting world where technology is not the only mode of communication, this makes complete sense. Talking about how often you text or showing texts he sends you –none of that is cute and it makes you look so co-dependent. At least while you’re kicking it with your friends, you can put him aside for a moment. If nothing else, put down the phone and don’t be that friend who, while away from her man, is still with him all the damn time because, ahem texting. So annoying, trust me. Like you’re becoming an annoyance and no longer a friend. You need this wake-up call.
5Passwords
This should go without saying, but sometimes in the heat of an argument or under the influence of whatever thing, you go spitting off at the mouth telling more than just secrets, but you’re sharing passwords, too. Maybe you want your friends to spy on him from afar, maybe you want to get even, or maybe you’re just nosy. Whatever the case may be, you cannot tell your friends your man’s passwords. Not only is that an invasion of privacy, but it also reveals something about him. Our passwords do reflect something about us, even if it’s something trivial. Or if you know each other’s passwords, don’t tell that either because you just look like y’all are in some weird ‘can’t trust you for nothing’ type of relationship and that just looks wrong.
4Petty stuff
Every single relationship has petty stuff. If the relationship doesn’t, I might beg to reconsider the categorization or relationship status. Petty stuff exists in all forms and in all types of relationships, hence romantic ones will be no different. However, all that petty stuff is just, well, petty. And while some people like to gossip and get all the dirty details on whatever and whoever, you’d be wise not to share all that mess because, to be honest, it’s y’all’s mess and no one else’s. Introducing petty stuff into any conversation is just uncool and it will leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth about your partner. Now if that’s something you’re aiming for, then by all means, open your trap and reveal it all.
3Disagreements
Of course, there is a level of discretion here. Not all disagreements need to be shared –that would be petty. But there are some that require sharing. Like if your partner is abusive in any way, shape or form, that demands that you expose the truth behind what’s really happening between you and your man. However, if y’all are fighting over anything and everything all the damn time and if it’s got you going crazy, that only means you should probably end things if there is no solution in sight. Don’t use your friends as a free therapy session unless they have offered themselves in that way; otherwise, try to solve the issue between you two or seek some professional help. Involving your friends as though they are the answer to your problem is not the way to handle that which ails the relationship.
2Performance issues
If sharing things about your bedroom activities and intimate parts isn’t bad enough, now you’re taking things to the next level. If you or your man are experiencing issues between the sheets, please, take your business to a professional. Your friends do not want to hear about where he’s lacking or what you’re afraid to do, it just makes people uncomfortable. Unless your friend is a professional in that arena, chances are that talking about something so personal will begin to put a wedge between you and your friends. Understand that what happens between you and your man should, for the most part, stay there. Airing out your laundry for the world to see shows that you are in a real crisis and don’t know how to attend to the issue properly. Time to return to square one when it comes to relationship and friendship etiquette.
1Strange habits
We all have strange habits. If you say you don’t, you’re flat out lying. Every single human being that walks this earth has an idiosyncrasy –it is perfectly normal and healthy, for the most part. But what is not normal is telling your friends about your man’s strange habits. We’re not taking about habits that get on your nerves, but we’re talking about habits even the most candid person might not want to share. Those habits are for him and, since y’all have an intimate relationship, for you –no one else should know about those habits. Remember, if you wouldn’t want him to tell his friends about your strange habits, why would you think it’s OK to share his with your friends? Don’t be cruel.
