In another reality, today was supposed to be our wedding day.
The most anticipated day of our lives. The day we’d pledge eternal love to each other. The day our love would become official in the eyes of the law.
To say that I’m not disappointed is a lie. We planned our wedding for more than a year and discussed it for even longer. We painstakingly visited numerous venues to finally decide and secure our dream location. We paid attention and planned to our best ability, from venue decoration to music. We carefully studied our guest list and made sure to invite all our families and friends to share this joyous occasion with us.
Our preparation was almost done. I’d chosen the wedding gown that I would walk down the aisle in with my husband-to-be. We thought we were ready for the most exciting day of our lives. We couldn’t wait to get married.
But as the date approached, instead of the usual wedding frenzy and energy, we were filled with dread and worry about the worsening pandemic. Initially, we were firm in our stance to go ahead with the wedding. After all, the date was set and the arrangements were made. We didn’t want to entertain the possibility of canceling it. But as the situation escalated, we realized we couldn’t put our loved ones at risk. Furthermore, the option was taken out of our hands with the strict social distancing measures implemented.
Having to postpone our wedding was a logistic nightmare and an emotional roller-coaster. It was like being stuck in limbo, not knowing which way to proceed. It was having to come to terms that the day I had envisioned and waited for was not going to happen. It was being hit by instances of resentment and unfairness about why this was happening to me. It was feeling guilty about being upset when there were bigger things in the world to worry about.
However, I realized that my feelings are valid. I’m allowed to be sad and grieve over my loss, however small and ridiculous it may look like. I’m allowed to be frustrated over well-meaning advice from people who think they’re trying to help. I’m allowed to take time out for myself when everything gets overwhelming.
Today was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives, and it still is. Plans change but love endures. Everything else ceases to matter when we are together. You love me with so much conviction that I never have to doubt your feelings for me. You love me so fiercely that I’m reeling in blissful happiness every single day. You give me a loving home that is everything I dream of.
In this overwhelmingly uncertain world, you’re the stable pillar that brings me comfort, encouragement, and strength. In this confusing period, you’re the embodiment of hope that makes me believe that everything is going to be okay. In this dark and stressful climate, you’re my solace of light that makes life normal and enjoyable.
Today was supposed to be our wedding day. Despite having to postpone our wedding, I think I’m the luckiest person to have met you and experienced a love like ours. We’re lucky we were able to find each other, and this pandemic makes me realize just how lucky we truly are.